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No social life :(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I do have friends, they just don't ask me to do anything with them, i've ask them on multiple occasions but they usually say they can't, make up a rubbish excuse or ask to do it another time. I have pretty much given up with asking them.
For the past six months I've been suffering from depression and I've selfharmed and attempted suicide. I really just want some company, to know someone cares.
I do live in a rural area, but i could still see my friends, they just don't want me to.
Is it me? Am just a bad person, an unlikeable person?
What should I do?

Comments

  • *Holly**Holly* Posts: 140 Two little ducks
    Hey Causeless and welcome to TheSite :wave:

    I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. The boards are always here if you feel alone and to let you know that someone out there cares.

    It sounds like there's a lot of stuff getting you down at the moment. Is there anyone you can talk to about all this? Either a family member or even your GP? I'm going to send you a link here to TheSite.org's self-harm section and suggest you have a good read of the articles there. Hopefully they'll be able to give you some advice on how and where to get support - as well as reassuring you that you're not alone in what you're going through.

    It might also be worth posting in our Health and Wellbeing board. There are a lot of users there who have gone through similar emotions and issues who may be up for chatting to you. Sometimes it's helpful to know you're not the only one feeling this way and to see how other people have learnt to manage their hard times.

    In terms of your friendships - is there anything you can take up where you can meet new people? You say you live in a rural area, which makes it a bit harder, but is there any sports you enjoy? Or arty activities that appeal? It's a great way to broaden your social circle and exercising/being creative can help depressive feelings.

    Lastly, if you're ever feeling suicidal again, have you thought about ringing the Samaritans on 08457 909090? They're a completely confidential service and can offer a friendly voice when you're in a desperate moment. More info on what to do if you're feeling like this, can be found here.

    I hope I've not bombarded you with too much information there. Take your time reading things through, and remember that TheSite boards will be here whenever you need them.

    Massive hug *hug*

    Holly
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Causeless wrote: »
    I do have friends, they just don't ask me to do anything with them, i've ask them on multiple occasions but they usually say they can't, make up a rubbish excuse or ask to do it another time. I have pretty much given up with asking them.
    For the past six months I've been suffering from depression and I've selfharmed and attempted suicide. I really just want some company, to know someone cares.
    I do live in a rural area, but i could still see my friends, they just don't want me to.
    Is it me? Am just a bad person, an unlikeable person?
    What should I do?

    How old are you? Have you never considered moving to somewhere more urban? You don't have to sit in rural isolation indefinitely...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Since I've posted this i've talked to a few people about how i feel. I was quite surprised how many people I know have tried to kill themselves or have harmed themselves. It's really clear to me that I'm not alone with such feelings, but I'll still read the forum threads which relate.

    I think my social life might improve, in the conversations i've made it clear that I'm upset and want some contact, it went quite well, days out have been organized :)

    The clubs available here are very basic, or charge alot to be a member, so i wasn't really interested.

    I'm seventeen, i have thought about moving but i need to finish college and i don't want to leave a good college.

    Thank you both, for your help :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you're attending a college of any size they will have a counselling department, and I would encourage you to make contact with them. They will help you work out how to address the various issues that you mention.

    Not having friends can be depressing, but then it can be hard to make friends when you are feeling depressed, and it can be a circle that it is difficult to break out of, but it gets easier when you have support.

    Talking on line is better then feeling isolated, but talking face to face is better, and putting your feelings into words can help with finding a fresh perspective on the issues that are troubling you.

    When feeling depressed doing nothing can seem logical because it can be hard to see the point in making an effort when you believe (falsely) that whatever you do it won’t make a great deal of difference. One of the debilitating symptoms of depression is that it robs you of the ability to anticipate positive outcomes. Getting support from someone who understands depression can help you to overcome it. The best place to start is with a full assessment so that an effective treatment plan can be drawn up, this might include meds, specialist counselling, relaxation training, advice on diet, and possibly some blood and urine tests to rule out conditions that can present symptoms similar to those of depression.

    As you’ve discovered, you’re not alone in feeling as you do – depression has been described as “the common cold” of mental health services, and it is very common amongst all age groups, including the young. So the sooner you ask for some help with it, the sooner you will be on the road to recovery.

    Good luck, and take care of yourself.

    Jed
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