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Should i carry this on?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi.
Please do not judge me when i say these out. I just need some advice.
Ok it all started when i was 22. I met my Uncle (my blood-related aunt's husband) while on the way to new york. I'm an air stewardess anyways, and he is just a regular businessman. That year i had a breakup and i was feeling damn damn effing down. So we both had some drinks in a bar, and we got pretty drunk (although we know what we are doing and saying), and that time i just need someone to be there for me cos i was feeling down. So i confided in him, and well...i made the advancement first and kissed him, and .. he didnt push me away and we had sex during that night. Next morning was awkward! But that wasnt the point.
We carried on doing this for the next 9 months. He and I travel alot! SO we actually met in Bali, Paris and France. He will purposely time it so that when i flew to these countries, he will be there for "business" (Thats what he told his wife, my aunt). And that awkward morning in paris became a total lust in the other countries. We would stay in villas, hight class hotels, suites, etc. He just loves to pamper me, and honestly i love to be pampered. And yes I slept with him often, for many times. And i have to admit I'm very hungry for sex.
After that 9 months, we stopped all these, cos he had a quarrel with my aunt. And unfortunately, they divorced. But once a while, i would meet him just to have sex with him. I just love to be pampered. Nice places to stay, good food, he buys me dresses, bags, etc etc. And all these lead to sex at the end of the day, which i dont mind.
Now the question is: Should i stop all these? or should i continue?
Please do not judge me when i say these out. I just need some advice.
Ok it all started when i was 22. I met my Uncle (my blood-related aunt's husband) while on the way to new york. I'm an air stewardess anyways, and he is just a regular businessman. That year i had a breakup and i was feeling damn damn effing down. So we both had some drinks in a bar, and we got pretty drunk (although we know what we are doing and saying), and that time i just need someone to be there for me cos i was feeling down. So i confided in him, and well...i made the advancement first and kissed him, and .. he didnt push me away and we had sex during that night. Next morning was awkward! But that wasnt the point.
We carried on doing this for the next 9 months. He and I travel alot! SO we actually met in Bali, Paris and France. He will purposely time it so that when i flew to these countries, he will be there for "business" (Thats what he told his wife, my aunt). And that awkward morning in paris became a total lust in the other countries. We would stay in villas, hight class hotels, suites, etc. He just loves to pamper me, and honestly i love to be pampered. And yes I slept with him often, for many times. And i have to admit I'm very hungry for sex.
After that 9 months, we stopped all these, cos he had a quarrel with my aunt. And unfortunately, they divorced. But once a while, i would meet him just to have sex with him. I just love to be pampered. Nice places to stay, good food, he buys me dresses, bags, etc etc. And all these lead to sex at the end of the day, which i dont mind.
Now the question is: Should i stop all these? or should i continue?
0
Comments
a. the sex or
b. for what he buys you?
I hope you will never receive judgement on TheSite
We can't make your decisions for you, but I can point you towards this site article 'Fancying a family member'. I think this paragraph may be of a particular help to you.
"Whatever you're feeling is fine. It's how you choose to act upon such affections that matters, so try not to feel guilty or ashamed. The key is to consider the long-term implications of getting it together with someone you're related to genetically or by marriage. Quite simply, you will always be family, which can cause untold grief should you become involved in a romance that goes wrong. Relationships fail for all kind of reasons, of course, but you can expect extra pressure from the way people respond to your relationship notably family and friends."
I suppose it may be worth weighing up the potential consequences of continuing this affair versus how happy it makes you. Is it your uncle as a person that you're enjoying? Or maybe more the attention/treats etc. he's giving you?
You said this stuff all started right after a break-up. The end of a relationship can cripple most people's self-esteem. Do you think perhaps you're using this to re-build it? Sex and self-esteem are often linked.
Whatever happens, it sounds like you're in indecision now, so I suggest perhaps you just take a bit of time out for yourself to mull things over. Maybe give yourself some distance to think about why you're doing this, whether it's making you happy, and also just building on your own life and self-esteem which helps any relationship.
Of course you're welcome to deliberate on TheSite as much as you want to as well.
Holly
I think you need to ask yourself if you would still be sleeping with him if he wasn't pampering you with anything. Would you still feel sexually attracted to him or want to have sex with him regularly? If not, then you know it's clearly not worth ruining your relationship with family over being spoiled by this guy.
Yes i love to be pampered. Until now, he is still pampering me, so im fine. And yes, usually after he pampers me with good food, authentic bags, perfumes, dresses, jewellery, air tickets to his overseas business trips etc etc. The problem is I'm an air stewardess (live ive told u before). When i have work, i fly to many places in 2 - 3 weeks, then i will be in singapore resting for about a month. So during this time, he will usually call me up and invite me over. And everytime we meet, its totally lust. Its like super addictive now. I just love sex.
Im only afraid someone might find out in the family, thats all. we even did it once in my cousin's 18th birthday. PM me if u all wanna know more.. kinda embarassing to spell it out here.
:yes:
I guess you need to think about whether it's worth it to continue being spoiled and pampered at the very real risk of losing your family when they find out. When it does get found out (which it pretty much always does, eventually) it won't just be able to be swept under the rug and forgotten; it'll be really damaging to you and everyone you love, and it may well be an open wound for a very long time afterwards.
When you really think about it, it's almost like a "prettied up" sort of prostitution (assuming it's just gifts and sex, with no real deep emotion behind it).
In my opinion, it's quite simple: family can't be replaced, but being pampered - there are enough sugar daddies out there who would be happy to have someone to spoil for sex.. It mean much less fallout if your family found out versus the discovering of your activities with dear old uncle.