How do I explain this to my parents?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
I self harm. They already know, and last week we went to an appointment with a psychiatrist who has put me in for counselling. That's good, I know, but there are still problems.
Everything sharp in my house has been hidden from me! And I still crave the feeling I get after cutting. I've tried going for walks, reading, studying, watching a film, having a bath, excercising etc. but nothing is giving me the same feeling.
My mam and dad must think I'm getting better because I haven't cut since they hid everything - they've only made it worse. The psychiatrist said it would be better for me to still cut, but slowly start to limit myself, but my mother didn't like this at all so instead went with hiding all sharp objects.
I understand they're doing it because they don't want to see me get hurt, but it's hurting me more not being able to harm myself, and where my parents don't understand the feeling I get from it, I'm clueless as how to explain to them, even with limitations on my cutting, I'll feel better.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you tried elastic bands? They can help because they give a real sting, my parents did the same when i was younger and they first found out, maybe you can try and take the opportunity to try to give up self harm? It may be easier while your tools are out of access
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Snow1 wrote: »
    The psychiatrist said it would be better for me to still cut, but slowly start to limit myself
    What sort of advice is that?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it's about the person having control over the choices they make.

    I used to self harm and the best thing for me was having a best friend who also self harmed. Someone who knew what I was going through. I consider it a coping mechanism, some people get drunk to deal with their life - that's socially acceptable.

    If someone tried to stop me, it would have annoyed me to - my life n'all that. There's always something you can use if you're determind to self harm.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It may be a good chance to try though, when you get to my age and you can't stop it sucks, i lost my job, I've depressed my girlfriend and i don't have a lot of skin left i don't have to hide
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how old are you cb?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it's a pretty understandable reaction from your parents to take away anything you could harm yourself with - think of what you would do if if was your child. they don't understand the feeling you get from cutting because they don't do it, and in the end it is not a sensible way to deal with your feelings. as charlieboy21 has said, it is difficult to get on in life when you are constantly hiding injuries and it can and does stop you from doing the things you want to do. you haven't found a different way to feel better yet but that doesn't mean a different way doesn't exist. there is no way to explain this to your parents that will make them understand. they will not accept that you want them to sit back and let you put yourself in danger, that goes against everything that parenting is. that's not to say that you shouldn't talk to them about your feelings, but that you have to appreciate their feelings too. my advice would be to speak to your parents about how you feel and help them to understand how difficult things are for you, but accept that they can't cope with you self injuring and work together to find other ways of feeling relief from the distress you feel. your counsellor will have loads of ideas that might help you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg hi wrote: »
    it's a pretty understandable reaction from your parents to take away anything you could harm yourself with - think of what you would do if if was your child. they don't understand the feeling you get from cutting because they don't do it, and in the end it is not a sensible way to deal with your feelings. as charlieboy21 has said, it is difficult to get on in life when you are constantly hiding injuries and it can and does stop you from doing the things you want to do. you haven't found a different way to feel better yet but that doesn't mean a different way doesn't exist. there is no way to explain this to your parents that will make them understand. they will not accept that you want them to sit back and let you put yourself in danger, that goes against everything that parenting is. that's not to say that you shouldn't talk to them about your feelings, but that you have to appreciate their feelings too. my advice would be to speak to your parents about how you feel and help them to understand how difficult things are for you, but accept that they can't cope with you self injuring and work together to find other ways of feeling relief from the distress you feel. your counsellor will have loads of ideas that might help you.

    This is really insightful and omg_hi makes some really good points. As a parent their instinct will be to protect you from harm and that instinct will be really strong. Talking to them about how you feel and for both you and them to try to see things from each other's point of view might help you to find a comprimise.

    There is a bit from our article on Steps to Recovery that I also thought might be relevant here given what you've said about not feeling ready to stop:
    If self-harm has become part of your life and helps you deal with your feelings it may be difficult to imagine coping without it. It's understandable that you may not feel ready to stop right now, especially as it may mean making a big change in your life.

    Being aware of where you're at is likely to be key to you finding ways forward so it's ok to be honest about not feeling ready but also to keep looking for new ways of coping that really work for you.

    *hug*
Sign In or Register to comment.