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What gives here because I'm baffled.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
help me understand this please. Bit of background.
met a guy online we spent a lot of time chatting online, texting, seemed to have plenty in common. We hook up twice a few months apart. Communication breaks down. About 5 months later he gets in contact. We start chatting again for 6 months! Xmas day, new years day etc. I ask if he's single - no he's back trying to make things work with his ex - Fair enough as I enjoy the banter and figure it's nice having another male to talk over things with. Again he dissappears after I start up things with another guy.
Again, not a word for months. I send a funny text. We get talking again. Again things seem fine. I suggest meeting up rather than just text. He crosses the line and asks whether I mean for a drink or more. I was stupid - I agreed. I figured he's cheated before why should I care, it's not my relationship. Arrangements get made - vanishes.
I get an email out the blue from him with a sort of apology saying he hopes I can forgive him sometime.
Seriously. If I break it down. We spent plenty of time chatting online, texts etc but only met up twice. 2 years ago. Why send a non-specific apology asking for forgiveness. I mean saying you messed up? I can understand but forgiveness? If you treat someone like a douche why would you even care if they forgave you or not.
What gives here because I'm baffled.
met a guy online we spent a lot of time chatting online, texting, seemed to have plenty in common. We hook up twice a few months apart. Communication breaks down. About 5 months later he gets in contact. We start chatting again for 6 months! Xmas day, new years day etc. I ask if he's single - no he's back trying to make things work with his ex - Fair enough as I enjoy the banter and figure it's nice having another male to talk over things with. Again he dissappears after I start up things with another guy.
Again, not a word for months. I send a funny text. We get talking again. Again things seem fine. I suggest meeting up rather than just text. He crosses the line and asks whether I mean for a drink or more. I was stupid - I agreed. I figured he's cheated before why should I care, it's not my relationship. Arrangements get made - vanishes.
I get an email out the blue from him with a sort of apology saying he hopes I can forgive him sometime.
Seriously. If I break it down. We spent plenty of time chatting online, texts etc but only met up twice. 2 years ago. Why send a non-specific apology asking for forgiveness. I mean saying you messed up? I can understand but forgiveness? If you treat someone like a douche why would you even care if they forgave you or not.
What gives here because I'm baffled.
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Comments
Of all the nice, available men out there, why does it have to be him? If he vanishes, let him. Vanish yourself, be through with him. What exactly are you expecting anyway to happen?
an honest (as if) explanation. - Unlikely I know.
I said I didnt accept the half hearted apology because I didn't trust him.
In a lot of cases (in my opinion) when people are vanished for a longer period of time and then suddenly come back again it is, because they need/want something, not because they offer something. Why don't you just move on from him? What are you expecting to get? A nookie? A friendship?
I miss chatting if I'm honest as we 'seemed' to get on well and shared a similar sense of humour.
You're with someone trying to make it work - I get that.
I just think it's messed up to spend so much time communicating then get cut off. It's hurtful.
Thank you & miss riot for your thoughts.
You're right, it is, but it's probably more hurtful to carry on attempting to communicate with someone who isn't interested.
If you did NOT get a message already then whew!!! Didn't waste your time. Cool.
I'm a newbie myself (today) and enjoying all these forums to much it is now 3am. I'M CRAZY!! Only have to get up in 4 hrs. LOL. Oh well.....not to old to do an all nighter yet.
Went thru similar situation about 15 yrs ago EXCEPT the opposite (I'm male) and what you're saying is correct.
My advice? The dude is probably immature, regardless of age, low self esteem, etc. This is why he loses his wife, gets with you, flips back and forth, yada yada. ALL EXCUSES!! I would just say adios and move on. Not easy at times but you MUST consider yourself before anyone else. Besides: if you're not happy then how can this be worth your time anyhow?
Just one old goats (49) opinion.
Good luck. :-)