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Religion?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Sorry i've been a little lazy and not searched through to see if anybody posted something similar to this before me.
The thing is. I believe in God. & its sounds stupid that this is such a huge problem for me.
Im perfectly happy to tell my family im gay.
But to tell them that I actually believe in God? The thought terrifies me.
Its not that they are particulary hateful today christians, or any other religions.
But.. its the way they do talk about them. behind closed doors. As if they are idiots.. I dom't know how to explain. But you have to understand. The things they say, make me terrified to admit this.
Once I actually bought a modernisation of the new testament. Claimed it was for my philosophy a-level. My mum teased me so much, made me feel so bad about myself, I was too scared to ever pick it up.
Before.. things have been bad. & I felt the prescence of a guardian angel. Believe me or not, whatever you want - i do not care of your opinion on this, all i want is help to discover God more.
I;m just saying that, because he went away - the guardian angel. & I have felt a need for him again lately, and it hasn;t been there. So I've been praying, begging. So far nothing.. but I feel like today... finally, there were loads of signs. On the day I almost gave up.
I just don't know what to do about it.
I have no idea of how to start exploring this idea.. of being christian. Ironically, I'm alone. and scared. I have nobody to guide me... because I feel I cannot quite connect with god.
Somebody please give me some advice?
The thing is. I believe in God. & its sounds stupid that this is such a huge problem for me.
Im perfectly happy to tell my family im gay.
But to tell them that I actually believe in God? The thought terrifies me.
Its not that they are particulary hateful today christians, or any other religions.
But.. its the way they do talk about them. behind closed doors. As if they are idiots.. I dom't know how to explain. But you have to understand. The things they say, make me terrified to admit this.
Once I actually bought a modernisation of the new testament. Claimed it was for my philosophy a-level. My mum teased me so much, made me feel so bad about myself, I was too scared to ever pick it up.
Before.. things have been bad. & I felt the prescence of a guardian angel. Believe me or not, whatever you want - i do not care of your opinion on this, all i want is help to discover God more.
I;m just saying that, because he went away - the guardian angel. & I have felt a need for him again lately, and it hasn;t been there. So I've been praying, begging. So far nothing.. but I feel like today... finally, there were loads of signs. On the day I almost gave up.
I just don't know what to do about it.
I have no idea of how to start exploring this idea.. of being christian. Ironically, I'm alone. and scared. I have nobody to guide me... because I feel I cannot quite connect with god.
Somebody please give me some advice?
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Comments
I found my faith about 3 years ago and I haven't really told anybody who did not ask me directly, the thing I told myself is why do they need to know? The answer is they didn't and don't need to know.
Belief in God is not a dirty secret, not something to be ashamed about or shied away from, likewise it is not something you need to broadcast. Your faith however brilliant and magical and awesome it is does not define you, you just know who to thank for the coincidences in life.
In the end your belief and faith in God needs to be justified to one person and one person only - yourself. Other peoples opinions on what you believe are irrelevant.
As for the guardian angel thing, just keep your faith and trust in the boss upstairs, because he will always push you towards the light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how grim, dark, smelly and rat infested the tunnel is, just keep on walking!
Hope that helped in some way
I wanted to advise you, to believe in whatever you want, as long as you don't rely on it too much. Sick? I don't need medicine, I have god, etc. If you know what I mean. Unfortunately you are doing exactly this. God is the most favorite explanation for people to be happy for an achievement or deal with an disappointment. And this is never good in my opinion.
I am a scientist, so I believe in things I can see, measure and describe. Is there a god? I do not know and I do not care. He never influences me or my surroundings in any way. Everything that happens to and around me, is mostly easily described by provable cause and effect. If someone can show me evidence for god, I will believe in him, otherwise I do not care, because he plays no role in anything in my world view. If someone tries to explain to me something is God's work, because he or she does not know a better explanation I will dispute this.
So as a bottom line: Don't rely on your faith, believe what you want, and, just with your farts: It is best to keep them to yourselves, so others can't make fun of you.
And I do not really know what you mean with "connect with god", but maybe you can explain what you are trying to get out of this connection? Companionship? Advice? Guidance? I would argue that all of those are more easily and practicably attainable through humans.
I am a christian... i dont fully believe but i was christened and i do believe in parts of the bible. I think that there is no shame in having a religion or believing in god, it make you who you are. People who make fun are discriminating, they wouldnt be worth the hassle. There may be a local church or something that you could go along too. i know that the community im in have a lot of churches and all are very popular with all varieties of people, there might be people in the same situation as you.
Flow x
First - StrubbleS (ive missed having somebody give me something so bluntly but what i maybe need to hear
Anyway - I do get what you are saying - I don't think im totally relying upon anything? But if that is how it came across maybe I am a bit more than im realising :S
So.. Flow - there are a lot of churches around my area, but.. none of them seem too inviting to outsiders. Also I don't know of any time to go other than sunday mornings, which I cant get away with. I have a friend who attends church but I've tried talking to her before and she wasn't very supportive or anything
My community is full of gossips, outsiders say we are stuck in the 20th century..
Ugh its just so fucking difficult and awkward !
You are relying on prayers for an guardian angel to come. What for? What do you need protection from? If you seriously need protection from anything I would not rely on a deity.
I don't know how this is going to solve your problem of not having enough company now. Like I said, calling on to a deity to solve a real problem, because you don't want to deal with it (like finding a friend, or trustee), can become dangerous. The company a guardian angel can give you, is the same your teddy bear, or your imaginary blue-furred friend Gus can give you. If you have a need for something, get real help. It seems to me you are trying to find shelter in religion, because there are issues you don't want to deal with.
Remember that old joke about the guy on the house praying to God and a boat comes to rescue him and he says "God is going to save me" then a helicopter comes and he says the same thing, then when he gets to heaven after drowning God says "Well I sent a boat and a helicopter" - Sometimes help from Him Upstairs does not come in the guise we want (like in a guardian angel) but first and foremost you need faith in yourself to get through things and wait for that push over the finish line!