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i want to know why i cant feel any emotions im 41 and ive got 4 kids and split up with my wife of 20yrs 2 yrs ago ive since been in a mental ward and prison im an alcoholic drug user and ive lied to my nurse constantly about my drug use and drink ive also lied to my family and everyone thinks im doing well im not its only a matter of time before i do the deed its planned and everything is in place i hate deciving everyone and thats just making it worse but i dont even care how my kids will feel do i not deserve to die is this not natuaral selection