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Such a mess
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Basically, the one thing I had left (school) that kept me in any sort of structure has been taken away. I've been off for 3 weeks already, with hardly any work to do or anything... I must have fallen so far behind 
I'm not going to be allowed back after Easter either, they're going to review the situation in the Summer half term. That's another 6 weeks off. In those 6 weeks I might be going to a school for people who are not able to cope in mainstream eduction due to "medical reasons". But I might not get a place. And if I do get a place, it's only for a few hours a week.
School helped so much, because it meant I actually had to leave the house, I had to wash my hair and get dressed in the morning, I had to look presentable... now I just sit in my room all day, on my own, in the dark. I have no desire to get up or do anything.
I overdosed the other day, just so I could feel something, my new meds have just turned me into a zombie.
I just don't know what to do any more, without school I have no structure and no need to get out of bed. I've been told by my psych nurse and the crisis team that next time there's a meeting with school I have to lie to be allowed back in, and they'll lie as well. But then I'm scared, if I do have a problem in school I'm not going to be able to speak to any one... the one thing I was aiming for in life was to get into a college in Brighton, and now that's not going to happen because there's no way I'll get the grades for it.
If I'm not allowed back to school for year 11 I don't know what I'm going to do
I'm not going to be allowed back after Easter either, they're going to review the situation in the Summer half term. That's another 6 weeks off. In those 6 weeks I might be going to a school for people who are not able to cope in mainstream eduction due to "medical reasons". But I might not get a place. And if I do get a place, it's only for a few hours a week.School helped so much, because it meant I actually had to leave the house, I had to wash my hair and get dressed in the morning, I had to look presentable... now I just sit in my room all day, on my own, in the dark. I have no desire to get up or do anything.
I overdosed the other day, just so I could feel something, my new meds have just turned me into a zombie.
I just don't know what to do any more, without school I have no structure and no need to get out of bed. I've been told by my psych nurse and the crisis team that next time there's a meeting with school I have to lie to be allowed back in, and they'll lie as well. But then I'm scared, if I do have a problem in school I'm not going to be able to speak to any one... the one thing I was aiming for in life was to get into a college in Brighton, and now that's not going to happen because there's no way I'll get the grades for it.
If I'm not allowed back to school for year 11 I don't know what I'm going to do
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Comments
i went to a school just like that, and came out of it with better GCSEs than i probably would have got in mainstream because of the amount of personal attention i got. even if you think you are fine in school and it's the only thing that was going well, your school are probably completely out of their depth and don't know how to best support you. the staff in the new school will be trained to help young people with all kinds of problems, including mental health (if it's anything like mine was, all of the kids will have mental health/emotional problems and there will be one with a broken leg just for good measure). they will be able to give you an education whilst accommodating your difficulties which your mainstream school can't really do, and can help you catch up on the work you have missed. the part time hours can be really helpful when you have medical appointments etc but also consider that you can carry on learning at home and you might be able to extend the hours you spend there after you have settled in. i didn't have any problems at all getting into college after i left. i worked really hard for my grades but i think the safety of the school helped with that because i could be myself and tell the truth when i was having a bad time instead of hiding it.
i really don't think lying to your school is a good idea. even if you manage to convince them that you are well enough to go back, you can't predict how your health is going to be in the future weeks and months and there will be more pressure on you as you get nearer to your exams. if you really want to be there then it's your choice to fight for it, but don't rule out the possibililty of the other school because you haven't got the right information about it. i really, really didn't want to go but i'm so glad i did. it was a difficult experience but it helped me get to where i needed to be.
*hug*
Sorry things seem so tough for you at the moment. It can't be an easy place to be. *hug*
I know you've been off school and worried you might be far behind. Have you been in contact with them to see if there is any work you could be doing whilst your off. That in itself would show them how committed you are?
You talked about overdosing the other day. Have you spoken to anyone about this? Even at this stage, speaking to someone at NHS direct might be advisable just to be certain. There number is below...
08454647 (https://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/About/ContactUs.aspx)
Regarding lying about your situation to the school sounds like dodgy ground to me. Regarding health etc it's always best to be upfront and honest as this is how you can get the right help/advice. It might be worthwhile discussing this again with your psychiatric nurse and the crisis team, or asking them to clarify what they meant.
About the possibility of a new school, have you researched this at all yourself. Do you know academically what they might be able to offer you and what help and support you would be given. Change can be scary at times but its not always a bad thing.
Please keep in touch and let us know how everything goes for you.
Remember we are always here if you need someone to offload on to.
Phil :thumb:
Maybe there is still a chance of you getting into the new school, there is still one more week of holidays (if your holidays are the same as mine) for them to sort things out.
I personally feel that you should take the initiative and make some calls, even though you probably dont feel up to doing it, you have the same rights as any of the other students at your previous school who dont have problems with their mental health. Its a very important couple of years for you in your school education and I know you care about your GCSE's and your future. If you put this across to whoever is in charge of all this business i'm sure they will try and make the swiftest arrangements for you.
Hang in there please, i'm here for you even if you feel that nobody else is.
And my lion. Aslan. I need my lion.
Chin up hunnie. Make sure you thouroughly talk to the crisis team about what you want doing and let us know how it goes. x