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One day, and everything crashed....

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • *Holly**Holly* Moderator Posts: 140 Settling in
    Hi miss2

    Welcome to TheSite. :wave: I'm so glad you found us, and you'll always have someone here to listen.

    Firstly I want to give you a huge hug. *hug* It sounds like you've gone through one hell of a nasty time. Don't be angry at yourself for not being a strong person. Relationship break ups can crumble the strongest of people. It's a truly horribe, and very painful, process to go through and feeling as low as you do is very common. Why else do you think break-up songs like Adele's 'Someone Like You' is so popular? But the important thing to remember is it is something you'll get through. It just takes time.

    It sounds like your relationship with this guy was very dramatic - mainly because of the fact you were from different religions. It's very normal to feel you hate him. You gave up a lot and put up with a lot to be with him. But maybe with time you'll get some perspective on what a difficult position he was put in with his family. But for now, I would suggest letting all your anger and hate at the situation and at his family out. Maybe try writing a letter to them, telling them exactly how you feel, but DON'T actually send it? Just the act of writing can be quite cathartic.

    Then it's important to look after yourself and healing yourself. Reading this article about Mending A Broken Heart should give you some pointers. It might also be worth cutting contact with him while you have time to grieve the ending of the relationship and get your thoughts together. It's hard to get over someone if you keep hearing from them and being reminded of your feelings.

    As for your issues with visas and staying in the UK, I cannot advise you stay here illegally. Immigration laws are very strict, and you don't want the hassle and fear of that on top of everything else you're going through. Try not to see going home as a failure - it's just a legal system you can't argue with. And maybe being around your family is just what you need at the moment - to remind you you're not alone. And they can support you while you scoop yourself up and plan your next move.

    All of this healing will take time. Don't expect to feel better straight away. But you won't always feel like this. And, in the meantime, TheSite is always here to lend a sympathetic ear and to advice and support you.

    Let us know how you get on.

    Big hugs

    Holly
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