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Hoping writing this might help me get things straight in my head..any help is great:)
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I battle regularly with anxiety/depression and gave in about two months ago and went back on the dreaded 'happy pills' i normally dont last long on them as I find they make me completely numb to all emotions not just the negative ones. However these seem to agree with me.
I have got close to a guy recently who has been AMAZING! He just gets it and knows when to back off and just leave me to it and when to give me a kick up the back side and get on with it! I always questioned how he understood so well and I found out Tuesday night.
Id had a 'duvet day' ( you know the ones where the world just seems an impossible place!) I wasnt overly concerned I was stuck on teh sofa but ahd my laptop and was being productive. He convinced me to go for a game of pool in the evening to get me out the house, which I needed to do otherwise the following day would have been impossible.
Whilst out he poured his heart out, hes been slef harming for most of his life ( hes considerably older) he does it in ways that can be construed as accidents or spots and manages it in such a way that he can do it infrotn of people and get away with it. I was ok with that, I have battled with slef harm and im the first person he has told I felt priveileged and just wanted to help him in any way I could.
However since then he has lost the plot, I took the weds off work to spend it with him and he couldn't even get off the sofa to open the door to me. He cried multiple times, was sick and just had that million miles away, lost look about him. I care deeply about this guy and would do pretty much anything to help him. I know he needs time - 30 years is a long time to bottle something up and the realisation has really hit him hard but I'm wondering if im in over my head, I want him to get the help he needs but I dont think im enough.
Does anyone have any advice on how to help him cope or how to address the issue of possibly getting outside help?
Many Thanks I know its a long read.
I have got close to a guy recently who has been AMAZING! He just gets it and knows when to back off and just leave me to it and when to give me a kick up the back side and get on with it! I always questioned how he understood so well and I found out Tuesday night.
Id had a 'duvet day' ( you know the ones where the world just seems an impossible place!) I wasnt overly concerned I was stuck on teh sofa but ahd my laptop and was being productive. He convinced me to go for a game of pool in the evening to get me out the house, which I needed to do otherwise the following day would have been impossible.
Whilst out he poured his heart out, hes been slef harming for most of his life ( hes considerably older) he does it in ways that can be construed as accidents or spots and manages it in such a way that he can do it infrotn of people and get away with it. I was ok with that, I have battled with slef harm and im the first person he has told I felt priveileged and just wanted to help him in any way I could.
However since then he has lost the plot, I took the weds off work to spend it with him and he couldn't even get off the sofa to open the door to me. He cried multiple times, was sick and just had that million miles away, lost look about him. I care deeply about this guy and would do pretty much anything to help him. I know he needs time - 30 years is a long time to bottle something up and the realisation has really hit him hard but I'm wondering if im in over my head, I want him to get the help he needs but I dont think im enough.
Does anyone have any advice on how to help him cope or how to address the issue of possibly getting outside help?
Many Thanks I know its a long read.
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Comments
If hes willing to talk to his doctor that would be great but self harming is often something you keep to yourself and I think its because he trusted you he felt able to tell you, all you can do is be there for him allow him to talk but not take it all on yourself on top of your own stuff. I hope this doesn't sound harsh but you are your number one priority.
I'd encourage him to seek help, be there for him but only as much as you feel able to without affecting your own health maybe encourage him to come here cos at least he could retain anonymity whilst getting some additional support