If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
mess
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
even by my own standards last night was really messed up. Police, security, paramedics, if I'm honest I'm not rreally sure why because I was just a little bit drunk and I hadn't doine anything. Still drunk now. Taken to hospital and I discharged myself because I didn't need to be there. No one is listening. My cpn didn't listen and she said I was fine. Inside is hurting and no amount of visits to a&e is going to sort that out. They can't take the pain away. They can't take the memories away. They can';t take away the fact that I had to make the choice to turn off Isla's life support machine. Maybe if I'd waited a bit longer she would hav e pulled through and she'd still be here. I'd still have my baby. I miss her so much and it's just getting worse. I don't know what's happening but no one is listening.
0
Comments
If you don't think that your CPN is supporting you enough, perhaps go to your GP and try to explain this?
We're all here for you x
The feelings you're experiencing numbness, loneliness, guilt, regret, anger and confusion are all completely normal in your circumstances and it's unfair for people to expect you to just be feeling OK at this stage, it's unrealistic.
It sounds like your GP and CPN aren't providing the level of support that you're looking for and while it's good that you have a counsellor at college, perhaps you'd find it helpful to have the chance to chat with others who can personally recognise exactly what you're going through? You could email support@childbereavement.org.uk in confidence both to get down your thoughts to someone who will be able to offer you support and also could also possibly help you identify ways to connect with others who have similar experiences. You can check out the whole website here too:
http://www.childbereavement.org.uk/
Let us know what you think - as bb says, we're all here for you.
The police appeared again this afternoon to return my belongings and they filled me in on last night's events. It all seems like a blur. Sort of scared of myself because I completely lost control and from what I've been told it took quite a few hours and a lot of people to calm me down.
How are you feeling today?
Last night's panic was really frightening for you and I wondered if you feel able to go and see your GP?
*hug*
To anyone who was in chat last night I'm sorry about the state I was in.
Sending some hugs your way tonight *hug*
Just to push home what brunettebarbie and Helen said. Were always here for you.
Is it possible you may be able to get a sooner appointment with your GP? Perhaps phoning tomorrow morning and explaining the events over the last few days might help get things moving a bit quicker. I know it must feel tough when you feel that people just arent understanding how you are feeling... *hug*
I Hope your feeling better tonight. Keep postin to let us know how your getting on.
Phil
Just to add to the excellent advice and support that's already been given here, as well as Child Bereavement you could try contacting SANDS (http://www.uk-sands.org/). My Mum used to volunteer and work for them, and I know they used to run group sessions and a telephone advice line so that you can call someone up and talk. They'll have been through similar situations to you and may be able to help you articulate what you're feeling - and if not, will just listen. The contact details are here:
Helpline 020 7436 5881 helpline@uk-sands.org
Monday ? Friday 9.30 ? 5.30
Tuesday and Thursday Evenings 6pm ? 10pm
All my thoughts for you xx
Did you go to A&E in the end? What about a walk in centre?
You'll find that sometimes GPs will do emergency appointments - I walked into one with a friend without an appointment and she was seen almost instantly due to the nature of her illness. Take someone with you to fight your corner, just in case you come across a battleaxe receptionist.
How do you feel about the change of meds? Did your GP suggest a follow-up appointment?
I'm not sure if you've ever been in touch with Saneline before but they offer an out of hours helpline (6pm-11pm) and I know that evenings are particularly difficult for you.
You can find the information here - http://www.sane.org.uk/what_we_do/support/
As you'll see you can email them as well as calling.
Also, I know a while ago we talked about the place near you that couldn't provide help while you were under mental health services, but if that's no longer the case, then maybe you could go back and ask them what's available. You mentioned they were really friendly.
*hug*