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Feel totaly broken :(
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, my names lea and im 25 years old. I was seeing my guy from january last year. I recently discovered i am pregnant . He was supportive for about a month then 2 weeks ago he just text messaged me telling me he didnt like me and wanted nothing to do with me. I dont know where all this came from we were getting on well, i tried calling him but he just will not answer me, i askef if we could meet up just to talk he and he sent me a message saying hed never liked me, called me every name under the sun, even told me he would shoot me! I told hom we needed to talk about the baby and he just told me 'do what u want' everything is over text as he will just not answer my calls or meet up with me, why did he mess with me for so long if hes never liked me and why is he treating me so badly? If he just didnt want to continue see me anymore i would be still upset but could deal with that - it happens but its like hes totaly flipped i have no family to turn to and i feel like my friends dont really understand i just wish hed speak to me , i feel ashamed at myself for still loving him most girls i know would be glad to get rid after being spoken to like that but id take him back tommorow. I feel totaly heartbroken
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You say your friends dont understand, but have you talked to them about it? If not, then talk to them so they cant understand. Also, even if they dont understand, they can still be there for you and be supportive.
Try to be more careful in the future with the choice of your boyfriends. Being alone is still better then being with someone who mistreats you.
It is a hard situation for him to be in and can understand his reaction but it is completely out of order for how he acted. Whilst you cannot force him to be involved with the child I would at least make sure you go after maintenance costs and money, it is his responsibility too and its a great way to say "fuck you too"
I know its hard to get over but it will get easier
Firstly I want to send you a huge hug *hug* cause I reckon you need one after going through all this. It sounds like you've been through one hell of a tough time recently.
But TheSite boards are here for you, whenever you need them for support. It sounds like you're dealing with two major upsets here: the breakup and your pregnancy. And I'm going to tackle them here seperately, even though they're obviously linked.
The breakup: Don't feel ashamed of still having feelings for this guy. When a relationship ends, it's always a shock and feelings can't be turned off like a tap. You're not only having to deal with the sudden end of a relationship, but the horrible things he's also said to you. Unfortunately there's no cure for heartbreak apart from time, time and more time. This article on Mending a broken heart might be helpful. But ultimately you just need a while for the shock to sink in and to get over the hurt.
However, while breakups take time to mend, the issue of your pregnancy is one where, unfortunately, time is a more pressing issue. I know you're already going through a huge shock from this guy's behaviour, but have you had any time to think about what you want to do about this pregnancy?
If you're considering keeping the baby, you'll need to make a doctor's appointment pretty soonish to check everything's OK. Or, if abortion is an option you're thinking about, then it's best to go to your GP asap. Unexpected pregnancy can be very confusing, and it can be tough reaching the right decision for you. The good news is, there's support along the way for every option.
I suggest you read these two articles: Should I have a baby? And I'm pregnant, what next? They may be able to help you work out what you want to do.
I also suggest you talk to someone about what you're going through. You say you have no family, and your friends aren't being very helpful? If there isn't someone in your social circle, then you might find it supportive to give Brook a call for competely confidential advice. You can call them free on 0808 802 1234. They also have a text and email service.
Whatever happens, remember you're not alone. TheSite is here for you. Let us know how you get on, and feel free to keep posting whenever you like and someone will be here to listen.
Another massive hug *hug**hug*
Holly