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its been a while....
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi i recently started having sex with a guy im quite inexperienced but want to come across confident etc... do i need to direct him or let him do the leading. As the first time he was moving me around and it didnt last that long tbh.
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I am not trying to take the piss, but maybe you might benefit from watching some soft porn to help you out...
It's always nervewracking sleeping with someone new - no matter how experienced you are. You can bet he was just as nervous.
The best thing about sex is it's a massive learning experience and part of the fun is working out what feels good together and what doesn't. This article called sex with a new partner goes into more detail and should be helpful.
You're asking for advice on how to be more confident, and though this isn't an explicit sex tip, I suggest owning rather than being ashamed of your lack of experience. Don't try to be anything you're not. You don't have to tell him 'I'm really inexperienced', but, at the same time, don't try to be a porn star if that's not what you're comfortable with. You could even try talking about it. He may find your sexual naiviety a turn-on! Plus, I'm sure he's prefer this history compared to the insecurity of being with someone who'se slept with hundreds of people.
Just do what feels right. If he seems happy to take the lead, let him, and show him what you're enjoying with the odd moan and such. Or you could try slowly touching his body - if he groans, keep doing what you're doing.
For more direct advice, check out TheSite's Having Sex section which has tips on just about anything you may want to try.
Have fun experimenting
Holly
I do certainly agree with the part about nobody wanting to sleep with someone who seems to have been with 100s of others, that said nobody wants to look a fool either, as with anything in life it is all about striking the right balance.