Home Sex & Relationships

To contact again or give up?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok...this seems like a long story, though I had only know this guy a month!

We met on POF. I'm not keen on internet dating but contacted him and he seemed keen to meet and continued to be keen for the first couple of weeks.

I was then away 2 weekends in a row. Both times he asked if he could see me when I returned on the Sunday and I agreed. The second week, however, when I got home he had been drinking. I was a little disappointed and said I guess I'm not seeing you and he said what do you want me to do walk? He seemed a little annoyed, I apologised and he said nothing to be sorry for.

He had already told me he was out on the Monday so I asked if he was free on Tuesday and he said no he was going for dinner but could maybe see me after depending what time he was finished. I asked who his date was and he replied 'just an old friend'. I didn't then reply - left him to it as he said he was busy. He later text me to ask how my evening was and when I replied he said he was home.

The next day I asked if he was about again and he said yes. I asked if he wanted to do something and he asked what I had in mind. I suggested a drink and he said ok but he needed to go home after as he had an early start. When he met me he asked what was wrong and I said he'd felt a little distant. He said he hadn't meant to, then said things had moved quite fast and he was used to being on his own. I asked whether he wanted to see me less and he said no, he wanted to get used to seeing me more. He also said he was free the following day so I asked if he'd like to see me - he said yes.

The next evening he didn't mention meeting and I didn't want to push so left it.

On the Friday I asked if he was busy over weekend and he reeled off a list of plans followed by you? I replied and said sounds like a fun filled weekend…thought I might get to spend some time with you. I followed this about a minute later by silly me
And he replied seriously? then wouldn’t really talk.

I text a couple of times during the day on Saturday but he still wasn't being very chatty. I then rang him saturday night but he didn’t answer – called a few more times then it said he was on another line. He rang back and said what do you want? You’ve called 5 times in 5 mins. He said he needed to think and would call later. He didn’t call so I sent a long message on fb. He still woudln't reply and about an hour later I sent another message saying you didn’t call? He replied ‘sleepy time xx’

The next morning I rang him about half 9 – said he was on another line. Tried again at 10 – same. He called back and said you've called me twice before 10, what do you want? I said to know what's going on and asked whether we were together. He said I don't think so and said he was going to see his parents. I text drive safe, he text thanks. A couple of hours later I went out and drove past him...I text him and said back already? I haven't heard from him since.

I realise I was unfair in the way I acted when I asked what he was up to for the weekend, especially when he'd been so good about it when I'd been away the past 2 weekends.

I text him on Tuesday and apologised for being such a pain and said it would be good to see him if he'd like to meet for a drink (on me as I owe him a few)!

He didn't ever reply. The only contact I have had since is him playing an online scrabble game we had already started, usually once or twice a day.

I really liked him (even after such a short time). I'm not sure what to do now. I'd like to contact him again but I think it was my being clingy that pushed him away. I'm not sure whether to text again and just ask how he is or whether to leave him to have a weekend without chasing him and get in contact next week...or whether I've ruined it

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    to be really blunt: you've probably scared him away by ringing him/texting him the amount of times you did. and he doesn't seem too interested so move onto the next one :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Being honest, I would get put off by the amount of calls/messages if I was him. Yes, for a relationship to work you need to make concessions and time for each other, but remember that its just dating and its not as if anything had gotten serious at any point.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would give up on him unless he got back in touch with a grovelling excuse for why he'd been like that (acceptable example being a recent bereavement etc).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Randomgirl wrote: »
    I would give up on him unless he got back in touch with a grovelling excuse for why he'd been like that (acceptable example being a recent bereavement etc).

    Acceptable excuse? It sounds like he was being hounded. There is always the chance that it would have been better to be honest and say no thanks, but perhaps he might not have wanted to hurt or piss someone off by saying "sorry but no thanks".
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I did hound him last weekend I know...but he had previously told me he loved me, invited me on holiday etc etc. He seemed very keen and I was too.

    I was hoping by giving him some space he might come back if he'd meant the things he said.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think you started off by being judgemental about the drinking, passive aggressive by the "silly me", and then OTT by the phoning and texting a lot when he wasnt replying, and you didnt take any gentle hints, so hes been put off
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm afraid I agree with everyone else.

    The *good* news is that you're free to find someone who really is keen on you and who doesn't claim to be before he knows it, the way this man did.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks all for responses!
    I took the advice - decided I had apologised and it was up to him whether he accepted. This morning he made contact again...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bravo!
Sign In or Register to comment.