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Hopeless at chatting girls up.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This might seem tacky and fairly obvious but I'm hopeless at chatting girls up and I'm getting to know a lass and I would like some advice on what sort of questions to ask?
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And don't be afraid to get shot down.
The moment you discover that girls are not some weird mythical creature it is good for all parties!
Plan of Attack
If you are after sexytime/a relationship, keep firmly in your mind that the girl you are speaking to generally wants to be railed as much as you want to rail her. Take control, look her in the eye, if you want her to sit at a table or go somewhere put your hand on the small of her back and guide her to that location, unless she is stuck up she will appreciate someone who takes subtle control.
Always remember if you can't say anything else and you need to fill a silence or if your mind goes blank, compliment her on something, even if its a lie. Then whatever she says, make her elaborate to make it seem like you are interested (it helps to actually be interested, but it is not a necessity) and try to avoid making stupid jokes or ones that walk the line between decency and civility.
Do not swear any higher on the scale than she takes it, so if she says fuck you can say fuck, but don't say fuck before that.
Chicks dig it when you take control, so if you want her number, ask for her number, if you want to go out with her, tell her and if you like her, tell her that too.
If you want to go out with a girl the biggest mistake most people make is making friends with her before asking her out because she will friendzone you and say that a relationship will run the risk of losing that friendship, so ask her out asap!
The worst a girl can ever say to you is no or 'Lets just stay friends' which is also a no but with an added obligation. If a girl says no, just shrug, remember you are a pretty cool person and carry on till the next one comes along who says yes, then she will be the lucky one! :hyper:
I hope that made a shite of sense :d
I want to have my FIRST relationship and she wants someone who she can trust (She's been in some bad relationships).
I've told her that she's gorgeous (she said she isn't). I was playing a game last night and I said that I'd rather be speaking to her than playing the game and I asked her I bet that made you smile. She just denied it when I asked if I did.
She enjoys the same hobbies and films as me, so that's a bonus.
I've already asked if she has a mobile and she does, but she said that "I have to earn it". Which I guess is quite understandable. No lass was to go out with a weirdo.
Also is 18 and 27 a big age gap (I'm 27).
I did write a good reply before but I accidentally clicked 'Reply to Thread' so I lost it all
Chatting to girls can sometimes be a struggle. Where do you start!?
There's a really great piece here about just that!
Clichéd though it sounds, it's always best to be yourself - it saves the trouble later.
Good luck!
This is truth and genius.
To me it seems as if your not that useless if your already talking to this girl. Just have confidence in yourself, keep the chat light and casual to begin with. Make her laugh, be what she needs. If she needs to have a rant, let her.. if shes upset comfort her. Just improvise. The best planning is no planning in my experience. The more you think about what to say, the harder it is to actually say what you want to say.. This is confusing i know haha!:cool:
Thanks for the link. I've bookmarked it and I'll read it later.
I said something 'tacky' (her word not mine) and she hasn't replied back
Sorry to hear that she hasn't replied back. Just don't query her until she gives a sign of life off her, or she is probably gone for good.
What I find mildly amusing is that you have this "Thanks, I will read it later"-attitude, which often helps to crap up the situation. Like in your online profile thread. 10 people tell you what you should and should not do and you are like, "Thanks for your valuable insight, but I decided to not heed it.... Oh no, why are there no girls responding to me after looking at my profile
She's not interested....
In my humble opinion
Definitely. If you are interested in someone you should happily give them your number. If you are not sure, you should say so. If you have to earn it, she either wants you to re-paint her house and then fuck off, or don't want to give it to you. I'd remain on it anyway, because I am a curious person and want to hear a "No." if a No is meant. So ask her about it, but be wary. This is thin ice man. Don't be too generous, clingy, nice now. Treat it as a lost cause and behave that way. It's be best strategy you can do now, imho.
This is correct from Stubbles, very correct.
This is a war, mrferrari09. In war things don't always go your way and in if the first skirmish you need to retreat and dig in then wait for the enemy to come to you. If they don't come to you, look for a new battle.
Never be afraid of rejection and if she is the kind of person to stop speaking to you because she didn't like something you said to her (as long as it is not something like racism or mocking her religion), shes not worth bothering with - because weeks and months down the line she will still be going off when you say a single thing she doesn't like.
I once met a girl who I clicked with really well, we chatted and spoke for 14 hours straight, just sat talking and flirting and I said something about a girl being 'The Object of my affections' and she went quiet and huffy and walked away because I said girls were objects. I did not even follow her to explain and 3 days later she texted me telling me why she walked out and I could go out with her again if I apologized. (lol)
The morals of that story of mine is firstly, some girls are just crazy and enjoy flipping out over simple stuff. Secondly if they know they are being crazy 99% of girls will apologize after it depending on how wrong they were for being a nutjob. I have had this range from 1 hour to 5 months before they capitulate.
Either way forget about her for now and find a new one to ply your chattyup skills and don't make the same comment you made to her on the next girl