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Want to tell my friends about SI...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
I've been cutting for about a year now. My SI hasn't really gotten worse, but more frequent. I make about 3 cuts about 4-5 times a week. I want to tell my friends, but I don't want them telling my parents. How do I bring this to them? I don't want to talk to a therapist just yet. I just wish I knew how to tell them about my secret... I have one very close friend, and I want to tell her, but I don't know how I can tell her without freaking her out and having her tell on me. Any suggestions welcome!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey there Lost Musician :wave: Give yourself some credit for getting to this stage, confiding in someone is a big step and it's a brave thing to do, it's also a really good step to take to start to tackle what you're going through. Have you seen our info on confiding in someone about self harm? Here's the link: http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm/confidinginsomeone

    It's important to give your friend some time to take it in and also help them to understand how you feel. Often, it can be a lack of knowledge about self harm that causes people to react in an unhelpful way but it's likely any desire she feels to tell your parents is because she wants you to be safe and get the support that you need.

    You mentioned you're not ready to see a therapist yet but you could perhaps ask for your friend's support in taking that step when you're ready. It may help to reassure her that you feel you want to get some professional support. It might also take the pressure off a bit as hearing that someone you care for is self-harming can be quite distressing for that person, they may feel responsible for your safety or that they need to 'do' something practical to help.

    Let her know how she can help, whether that's listening when you need an ear or helping with distractions when you feel an urge?

    One suggestion would also be to show her the self harm section of this site to help her to understand - this article in particular might be good for you friend, it's all about supporting someone who self harms - http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm/supportingsomeonewhoselfharms

    I hope this helps a bit and good luck, let us know how you get on *hug*
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