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Conception dates HELP!!!! :(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi im new to thesite and have a bit of a problem, well a big problem actualy, i split up with my bf a few weeks ago and slep with somebody else. I had my last period on the 25th novmber and ended on the 29th. I slept with the other guy on the 4th december and the condom split i did not think anything of it as i thought id be fine, i got back with my bf on the 9th and we had unprotected sex now today i have discovered im pregnant through a clear blue didgit test so i know it is accurate,y friend said you usualy conceive on 14th day but if it was my bf surely the result wouldnt show this soon? Pls help i always thought how can a woman not know the father of her child thats awful but here i am :( i am not a slag theese are the only two guys i have ever slept with, i told the other guy and he said he didnt even come, but i dont know if he saying this just as hes worried? Who is more likely to be the father? I really hope its my bf xx

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It could be either.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Firstly it's not a great situation but you've not done anything wrong.

    The good news:
    Assuming you have regular cycles it's likely you'd not have been as fertile when you had sex with the other guy as when you did with your boyfriend.
    You'd likely have noticed afterwards if the other guy had come if the condom had split - the chances of conceiving if the guy hasn't come are much smaller.

    The bad news:
    Even if a guy hasn't come, and regardless of where you are in your cycle it's still possible to conceive. So either person could potentially be the father.

    The really tough decision is as to whether to tell your boyfriend. In terms of being honest to him, and any potential child the choice is clear. I'd consider how he will react though, if you know he'll stand by you regardless then you should definitely tell him. If you're more unsure, if the other guy didn't come, if you are unlikely to remain in contact with the other guy, and if it's not going to be obvious even if the other guy is the father (i.e. boyfriend and other guy are same race, have normal eye and hair colours!) then you need to decide whether this is something you can keep to yourself for the rest of your life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It could be either, but I'd put my money on the first guy. You are fertile for a week before you ovulate (as sperm can survive inside you for 5-7 days), but for less than a day after you ovulate. The average time to ovulate is day 14 of your cycle, but that's just an average. I was tracking my cycles when I got pregnant and I ovulate around day 19.

    The main reason that I suggest it's probably the first guy is that it's pretty unusual to get a positive test only 8 days after conception. It isn't impossible though, so there is still a chance.

    I hope everything works out for you. I must say, though, that I would be tempted to be honest with your boyfriend about the possibility that this isn't his baby. You were broken up, you really haven't done anything wrong, and these things have a tendency to become apparent later on - blood typing/medical histories/etc. Better to hear early on than to be led along for months if not years and him find out later down the line!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    itll be the one you dont want it to be. Fact.

    it always is
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanx 4 the replys, all the days add up to it being my bfs and i really hope it is its just the very early positive result that is worryong me, althougj the clearblue said pregnant the pee on a stick one i did was sooo faint it was barely there u had to look at it in certain was to see it , my friend said she hada positive result 7 days after the day she ovulated, has anyonr else ever had a positive this early? X
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The best course of action is that honesty is the best policy. It may indeed be your Bf's and hopefully it is. But, since there is a window of doubt, i think you just need to be upfront and honest with BF and the other and get a DNA test when the baby is born. The child has a right to know who the parents are and your life will be INFINITELY easier if you just take things head on and keep no secrets. Stuff happens. We are all human. Face up to it and you can move on to the best possible future for yourself and family. Good luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there Kellyanne!

    Welcome to the boards :wave:

    Sorry you are going through such a hard time *hug*. It's important to remember, as Kaff said, that you were broken up so you didn't actually do anything wrong.

    Have you told your boyfriend that you're pregnant? It's up to you as to whether you want to tell him about the other man or not - but at least to have the conversation of the pregnancy could help. Have a look at our article on dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.

    Generally, if you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy, the first scan at the hospital will be able to give you a better idea of when conception occurred. it might be a small window, but perhaps it can give you a better idea. The other man may say he did not come, and if this is true, it unfortunately does not mean there was none of his sperm involved;
    There is a risk of pregnancy if sperm comes into contact with the vagina in any way including from sperm on fingers.
    From the Askthesite question The life-span of sperm.

    Also have a look at a similar question to yours, which explains how to eventually get a paternity test.

    Good luck *hug* do let us know how you get on x
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