Home Sex & Relationships

I just don't want to

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi everyone

I have a bit of a problem when it comes to my sex drive.

My partner and I have been together for 2.5 years. We moved in together about 10 months ago. Previously I wanted sex all the time. My appetite for sex has waned more and more the longer we live together.

He wants sex or head jobs all the time and I just really don't want to. I'd rather be doing something else (we do occasionally have sex but probably not even once a week now!). Sometimes I think maybe I should just do it even if I don't want to.... but I can't even make myself do it. We are at the stage in our relationship of arguing, which I'm sure doesn't help.

I realised a few weeks ago that if it was me wanting sex and he didn't want to, then I'd feel like there was something wrong with me. And that's how he feels; I can't blame him.

I feel really bad.

So, any ideas or suggestions as to what I can do?


Thanks

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Firstly, never make yourself have sex with someone just to keep them happy. Its an awful thing to do to yourself.

    Secondly, Have you been able to pin point a reason for not wanting sex so much? Have you changed medication or contraception? Are you under a lot of stress right now? That can have a big effect on your libido. Do you still find your partner attractive? Unfortunatly it happens from time to time we fall out of love with someone and stop finding them as attractive.

    I think you need to pin down what if anything is making you want less sex, and deal with that, but I think you need to talk to your partner and discuss this issue.

    Hope this helps!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there Lozzie,

    Welcome to the boards :wave:!
    Miss_Riot wrote: »
    I think you need to pin down what if anything is making you want less sex, and deal with that, but I think you need to talk to your partner and discuss this issue.

    As Miss_Riot mentions, is there something you think has created this shift? Having mismatched sex drives can be quite common, especially since moving in together as things can get into a routine. Perhaps shaking things up a bit could help you both? Have a look at our Sensual sex article which has tips on how to get out of a sex rut.

    It is still always good to have a think as to why you think things have changed for you.

    What is important here is to communicate this to your partner. As you mentioned, the fighting really isn't helping, so if you can try to find a relaxed time where you can share how you've been feeling, it can help make you both understand each side.

    Good luck and do let us know how you get on :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Miss_Riot wrote: »
    Firstly, never make yourself have sex with someone just to keep them happy. Its an awful thing to do to yourself.

    :yes:
Sign In or Register to comment.