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Anxious about going to his house
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey. I really don't know if this is the right place and I couldn't think of a title to sum up my problem. :') I would appreciate replies ASAP because the, uh, 'event' is on Friday. I'll try and be as brief as possible.
So, at a friend's party almost a fortnight ago, I met a guy and we got on well and ended up spending some time kissing. I'm nearly 18 and he turned 19 in summer. I wasn't intending to see him again but he added me on Facebook so I reluctantly accepted about two days later. We've been talking A LOT every day since then via BBM too. We have funny conversations and he's really nice and everything. A couple of nights ago he asked me if I wanted to do something in the week, and I said I was free Friday evening so he asked me if I wanted to go to his house after school as he lives right by my school (and only like a 15 minute walk from me). I said yes.
The thing is, we have lots of mutual friends, and I've found out that he has a reputation for his 'sexual escapades'. A couple of nights ago, he was outside of my house BBMing me lines to Romeo & Juliet (in a light-hearted way, and he has a friend who lives in my road hence why he was around); a mutual friend said she couldn't believe he would ever do anything like that. :') We've both told each other we like each other but there has been NO suggestive conversation whatsoever; but still, what they have been saying has made me anxious. I don't care about his sexual history, but I've only ever been to second base before and I hardly know him...I'm a really awkward person, and he said he finds that cute, but I also really suffer with anxiety sometimes and I keep getting really worked up about what he may be expecting from me. The thing is, the person that our mutual friends say he is (in that respect) doesn't fit with how he has been to me thus far, as I said we have not had any suggestive conversation at all.
I was just wondering if anybody could advise me? One other thing that is stressing me is that I'm not very good at saying no to people either because I always want to keep them happy. I've never been in a situation where somebody has tried to instigate sex and I really don't know how I'd cope if that happened.
So, at a friend's party almost a fortnight ago, I met a guy and we got on well and ended up spending some time kissing. I'm nearly 18 and he turned 19 in summer. I wasn't intending to see him again but he added me on Facebook so I reluctantly accepted about two days later. We've been talking A LOT every day since then via BBM too. We have funny conversations and he's really nice and everything. A couple of nights ago he asked me if I wanted to do something in the week, and I said I was free Friday evening so he asked me if I wanted to go to his house after school as he lives right by my school (and only like a 15 minute walk from me). I said yes.
The thing is, we have lots of mutual friends, and I've found out that he has a reputation for his 'sexual escapades'. A couple of nights ago, he was outside of my house BBMing me lines to Romeo & Juliet (in a light-hearted way, and he has a friend who lives in my road hence why he was around); a mutual friend said she couldn't believe he would ever do anything like that. :') We've both told each other we like each other but there has been NO suggestive conversation whatsoever; but still, what they have been saying has made me anxious. I don't care about his sexual history, but I've only ever been to second base before and I hardly know him...I'm a really awkward person, and he said he finds that cute, but I also really suffer with anxiety sometimes and I keep getting really worked up about what he may be expecting from me. The thing is, the person that our mutual friends say he is (in that respect) doesn't fit with how he has been to me thus far, as I said we have not had any suggestive conversation at all.
I was just wondering if anybody could advise me? One other thing that is stressing me is that I'm not very good at saying no to people either because I always want to keep them happy. I've never been in a situation where somebody has tried to instigate sex and I really don't know how I'd cope if that happened.
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Comments
If mutual friends are saying that about him just be careful. I'm not saying that's probably what he's like, but be careful. Don't feel pressured into doing something you don't want to do.
Dont go round there if youre not comfortable with the idea and are worried about being able to turn him down if he suggests going further
I understand about the whole 'cant say no, wanting to please people' thing cos i do it too but sometimes you have to be a bit mean to look after yourself first