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How do I get my motivation back?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've been feeling pretty down lately over various things. A few months ago I had to move my alarm clock to the other side of my room so that when it went off it forced me to get out of bed. It kind of scares me as I've always been the sort of person who can get straight out of bed when my alarm goes. During the summer of my first year I had to get up at 5.45 for a summer job and I had no problems then. Now I really struggle to get out of bed and everything, from getting dressed, to brushing my hair to walking to the station feels like such an effort.
When I get setbacks they really get me down and I cant bounce back like I used to. Yesterday I phoned in sick simply because I could not be bothered to get dressed and go to work. The day before I had received a rejection from a job interview which was a. in a part of the country where I would be 15 away from several of my friends and b. which I went to a lot of trouble to go to the interview, overnight stay, inconvenient time off work.
Then a week or so before I had a friend cancel a get together we'd been planning for months. Several old uni friends were going to go and stay over for a weekend and hang out like we used to. Then she ended up breaking her leg so it was called off. I kept it to myself (I'm not blaming her for getting hurt) but I was pretty gutted and spent hours in tears that evening.
I know events like these aren't a big deal and they happen to everyone as a normal part of life but I feel really miserable over the smallest thing. My life isn't going to improve on its own, I realize that now but for the last few months or so I have lost a lot of motivation to do anything. I know I need to keep applying for jobs if I am going to move but when most of them don't even reply I sometimes feel like why should I bother. I also feel like I should give socializing in my home town another go but trying to “join groups” and all that crap these last two years was such a negative and disappointing experience.
One half of me wants to try and make my life better and the other half has given up.
When I get setbacks they really get me down and I cant bounce back like I used to. Yesterday I phoned in sick simply because I could not be bothered to get dressed and go to work. The day before I had received a rejection from a job interview which was a. in a part of the country where I would be 15 away from several of my friends and b. which I went to a lot of trouble to go to the interview, overnight stay, inconvenient time off work.
Then a week or so before I had a friend cancel a get together we'd been planning for months. Several old uni friends were going to go and stay over for a weekend and hang out like we used to. Then she ended up breaking her leg so it was called off. I kept it to myself (I'm not blaming her for getting hurt) but I was pretty gutted and spent hours in tears that evening.
I know events like these aren't a big deal and they happen to everyone as a normal part of life but I feel really miserable over the smallest thing. My life isn't going to improve on its own, I realize that now but for the last few months or so I have lost a lot of motivation to do anything. I know I need to keep applying for jobs if I am going to move but when most of them don't even reply I sometimes feel like why should I bother. I also feel like I should give socializing in my home town another go but trying to “join groups” and all that crap these last two years was such a negative and disappointing experience.
One half of me wants to try and make my life better and the other half has given up.
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Comments
Its worth also going to the GP and having any organic cause checked out, as rosierawrz said.
It might help to write yourself a brutally honest letter telling yourself in writing what you are sad or angry about and from there write a list of things you will do next month to make your life better, then if you ever find yourself feeling sad or down do something on the list and you will feel a little better. For this month I put "Clean car inside and out you pig" "deep clean the *censored* kitchen" and "hang the curtain, don't just leave it in the bloody car" as an example of the easyish tasks to do - it works for me and it might work for you too
Life gets on top of everyone from time to time and there is no shame in admitting it, there is also pride to be had from taking control of things!
I would like to meet up with my friends once a week but none of them live closer than 4 hours or so. Its just not practical especially midweek. I used to be visiting them all the time the first 6 months or so after I moved home from uni but after I started working I just got really worn out and ill from the constant travelling up and down the country.
Work is mostly older people or people with kids who don't really want to go out drinking with a twentysomething. I once persuaded two people who travel back home from the same train station to have a coffee after work at a nearby place but then later on in the week I overhead one of them moaning about how late home she was that night which has put me off asking again.
I'm in a bit of a catch 22 regards going out in my home town. I really hate going out on my own, whether that's to a bar or to a class or anything in public really. It makes me feel so awkward. However if I stay in all the time I won't ever have anyone to go out with. I know I need to start making more of an effort to get a social life but its been such a failure so far and that was back when I was happier and more optimistic about it.
I might try setting myself something small to do. I was thinking about redecorating my room or something.