Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.

What becomes of the broken hearted?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Me and my ex split a while ago and i can't get him out my head! We had sex a couple of times while he was/is in a relationship (yes it's wrong, his relationship is complicated and my heart couldn't say no). He told me a couple of weeks ago to just move on, but i can't. He's going to break up with his gf soon cause she is a bitch, and i wish he would turn around and a choose me, but that won't happen. He keeps trying to go along the 'friends with benefits' route but i'm putting my foot down because i know i am worth more than that. But i'm still besotted with him. We broke up because a rumor went around and we just drifted apart, but we both know we'll always feel SOMETHING towards each other. He knows how i feel so i don't want to bring it up again. I don't want to walk away because it will hurt, but this is hurting too. I know you'll say just walk away, but it is never that easy.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This guy is screwing you about big time. Sleeping with a guy when you have broken up just drags out the heartbreak. He clearly wants to have his cake and eat it and you will end up really hurt.

    There is no easy way round being broken hearted but your best chance is to try and avoid him and focus on other things.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can only advise you what your ex already did: move on. And don't say you can't. You'd be the first person ever who wouldn't. You just don't want.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I find staying away so hard though. I make a mental note to ignore him and just carry on with my life.. then he comes along and all that just shatters.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I find staying away so hard though. I make a mental note to ignore him and just carry on with my life.. then he comes along and all that just shatters.

    It's a simple matter of time. The human is hardwired to forget and forgive, just be patient.
  • *Holly**Holly* Deactivated Posts: 140 Helping Hand
    Hey NeverEndingFall

    Breaking up with someone is almost always incredibly painful and it’s normal to feel very hurt. What isn’t so well known is that break ups are also incredibly confusing. “Was it the right decision?” “Could we have tried harder?” “If I had done this/that/the other would we still be together?” “Do I still love them?” All this confusion is natural and therefore sleeping with your ex is something many people do while they figure things out.

    I think what’s really positive about this post is that you’ve
    a) Accepted, as much as you can, that the relationship is over. Your ex has even told you himself to move on – and
    b) You “know you’re worth more than” how he is treating you.

    It is very hard to walk away from someone you still have feelings for. But maybe it’s worth thinking why you have feelings for him? It doesn’t sound like he treats you, or his current girlfriend very well – especially if he’s cheating on her. Do you not think maybe you’re not only worth more than his behaviour – but you’re worth more than him as a person as well?

    It sounds like you’re finding it difficult to keep your resolve when you see him. These two articles Mending a broken heart and Accepting it’s over should help give you some tips on staying strong. If seeing him/talking to him is what is triggering you to go back to him, it might also be worth considering cutting him out of your life for a while and focusing on other things. It will be hard initially to break the habit, but it will get easier. Try not to look too far ahead, set the challenge each day of ‘I'm not going to speak to him today’ and then each day you manage it you will feel a bit better, treat yourself to something even! Then it gradually builds. If you view it as I'm NEVER going to see them again, it can be really hard to cut contact. But also don’t beat yourself up too much when you slip up.

    Good luck with it. Feel free to update us on your progress.

    Big hug *hug*

    Holly
Sign In or Register to comment.