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Too much to handle

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I didn't know where to put this, so it may be in the wrong place.
I started college last week and it was a really bad day, not been much better since. I got really upset on the first day bacause I've got all this crap going on and college on top of it just seems like too much.
I broke down on the first day which really embarrassed me, I got lost, I tried to withdraw, not really made any friends, and since then I just.. I don't know. I don't want to be there but everyone will be disappointed.
I don't get much sleep, I could stay up 'till about two in the morning writing in my diary and I get up at 7 for college. It's hard to stay awake during the day. I'm exhausted, drained, and I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.
I just don't think I can cope, I'm having a really hard time and I don't know what to do.
I have to stay at college, It just seems like I can't fit in, that I don't belong there. It's just adding to my stress.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Butterfly123
    Firstly getting upset is nothing to be embarrased about people handle things in different ways... Maybe talking to somebody about these feelings will help you, is this something you may consider? With regards to the lack of sleep, sometimes i take Kalms, they are a natural remedy to help me fall asleep, you dont really notice you have taken them.. Also another thing that could help is to write things down before you go to sleep and then just rip the piece of paper up and throw it away. This can be very helpful. Going to college is a big step and give it time and im sure you will make new friends. Just take it one day at a time hun. Everything will be okay i promise you. :)

    C
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't really want to talk to anyone else about these feelings.
    I might try Kalms, I do write but I don't really like to rip things up.
    Thanks.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Talk to student services, there may be alternatives to you studying. Do you not like the college, the people or the course?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JavaKrypt wrote: »
    Do you not like the college, the people or the course?

    I guess I like it, and the people seem fine, but I just don't want to be there because the whole pressure of it all and the new changes is adding stress I don't need.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey butterfly it sounds really difficult for you right now :( one thing that sticks out is how you say you stay up late writing your diary and then get up at 7 for college. A lack of sleep only makes stressful situations more stressful. Are you eating ok? Do you get any regular exercise or activity? And besides college are you in any clubs? These things can all help fend off the anxiety you are describing. It's not a magic solution but something to consider... :)

    Other than that, it is not unusual to feel overwhelmed at new situations like a new college so don't beat yourself up about it - a lot of other students will be feeling like they can't handle it either so don't feel like you're alone. But it does get better when you get more familiar with it and feel like you are a part of the college instead of just a new visitor, when you make some nice friends and in general things just start to pick up.

    *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It takes time to get to sleep, so I have to write my thoughts and feelings down to make it a bit easier. I don't really like eating but that's nothing new. I have aspergers so when I'm at college I don't eat or drink anything at all and I get home at around 6. I go to the gym sometimes, and I go for walks. I'm not in any clubs.
    Yeah, I get that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think its really important that you talk to college, about your situation, how you are feeling and the fact you have aspergers. They could provide you with somewhere quiet to eat, if thats what you need. Talk to the student enrichment team about joining some clubs.

    Have you set yourself a rigid routine for getting to sleep? I've fallen out of mine but I used to have a very strict routine of being in bed by 11, with a drink and a note pad. I would write down how I was feeling in 5 bullet points, and then a quick to-do list of things that needed to be done. Once that was done, i'd get comfy and put on a sleep hypnosis tape. I find them incredibly helpful, not everyone does, but its worth a try. If you have an Iphone you can get one of the andrew johnson ones for about £1.99. Having lavender oil on a tissue by your pillow might help as well.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does your college have someone to support people with ASDs? Perhaps they can help you cope. Having someone take notes for you, or being allowed a dictaphone to record lessons, can help take some pressure off.

    I agree with the others about a good routine for sleep - Miss Riot's suggestions are really good. My mum has a pillow with a speaker in it (surprisingly comfy!) which she got from Amazon and she plays hypnosis tapes or white noise through that, which works quite well for her (we're an insomniac family, we have all sorts of weird gadgets!).

    Also, my sister (who has ME) has found that using a light-based alarm clock to wake up to means she wakes up in tune with her natural rhythm and isn't jolted out of sleep like a regular alarm clock does.

    This is an example of the kind of clock I was talking about, could find out exactly which one she uses if you like.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks guys.
    The tutor of the course knows I have aspergers. I've been asked if I want like a support worker to sit in with me but I don't want to be looking stupid, everyone else is fine. I might talk to the tutor though on wednesday, not really sure what I'd say though.
    I might try the note pad thing, with the bullet points. And I think I might get one of those clocks. Thanks.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I had a support worker at college, but only in lectures, and it really wasn't a big deal. She was quite young so everyone assumed she was a student teacher or something.

    Its really important you address the not eating in college. That going to make you feel rotten!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I might see what my tutor says on wednesday about a support worker.
    I don't mind feeling rotton, I'm not eating at college. I don't really like eating anything at home though either, so it's not much of a difference.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does your Asperger's mean you don't get hungry? I have a friend who has that difficulty, but he has noticed he functions a lot better when he forces himself to eat.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No, I get hungry, but I just don't like eating with anyone around. My aspergers makes me feel like everyone is staring.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OK, that's difficult. Have you ever had any CBT to try and handle that? CBT can challenge false assumptions and correct those sorts of thought patterns.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No I haven't, I don't know what that is. I'll search it. Everyone just expects me to like.. get over it, forget about my aspergers and start eating. People think I'm silly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, I don't know about its effectiveness for Asperger's officially but anecdotally I have friends with ASDs who have used it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I might mention that to my counsellor, see what she says.
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