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Dealing with letting go...Even when I dont want to
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My..well...I guess he's only a friend now, has always had a tough life. He had anorexia, he self harms and has attempted suicide many many times. We used to be together and when he was in a good place, there was no human being alive that treated me better than he did. At the start of the year he decided he didnt love me anymore and at a later date I found out he was scared of hurting me. We talked about this and in the last few months things have been okay. When I say okay, I mean we are closer than friends but not quite in a relationship. When I'm at his house we sometimes cuddle up on the sofa together. I love this guy to pieces and I've tried everything to help him in the years that I've known him.
But I guess my dilemma is this... In a few weeks time we both head off to University. Although they are close by, its still a 40 minute journey. I fear that when we go our separate ways, I'll never hear from him again, and I cant deal with that. He means so much to me. Recently he has been really down and even mentioned taking his life again, which I managed to convince him was the wrong thing to do and he has so much more to live for. My biggest fear is that he will take his life or seriously hurt himself and I wont have been there to try and stop him destroying himself. My other close friends have seen how much this is upsetting me and have mentioned letting him go, there is nothing more I can do. Should I really just let him go and fall apart the day someone tells me what he's done? or should I continue to be supportive and just pray that I can make a difference? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm falling apart
But I guess my dilemma is this... In a few weeks time we both head off to University. Although they are close by, its still a 40 minute journey. I fear that when we go our separate ways, I'll never hear from him again, and I cant deal with that. He means so much to me. Recently he has been really down and even mentioned taking his life again, which I managed to convince him was the wrong thing to do and he has so much more to live for. My biggest fear is that he will take his life or seriously hurt himself and I wont have been there to try and stop him destroying himself. My other close friends have seen how much this is upsetting me and have mentioned letting him go, there is nothing more I can do. Should I really just let him go and fall apart the day someone tells me what he's done? or should I continue to be supportive and just pray that I can make a difference? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm falling apart
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I guess my thread is pointless now. He has given up on me first. and pretty much wants nothing to do with me anymore.
yaay for feeling worthless
I hate feeling like this. I hate being so lonely and empty and filled with anger and hate. I hate being my age, that people never take me seriously and just fob off my troubles as 'teenage hormones'.
It's natural to feel lonely and empty when a relationship ends but one of the worst things you can do is to sit on your own and over-think it all, it will only make you more miserable.
Distractions are key! Of course you need to let yourself be sad but try not to let it consume all of your thoughts. It's great you have university coming up, there'll be all sorts of new distractions to keep your mind occupied and to give you something else to focus on. It might seem hopeless right now but things will get easier.
Sometimes timing and situations go a long way to creating barriers between two people and it sound like he's been confused about what your relationship was. The support and help you've given him can't be taken back and you should be proud that you were such a good friend. You're certainly not worthless at all.
Ask your close friends to keep you busy, get out and about and do things that you enjoy. Give him some space too - a bit of time without any contact between the two of you will give you both a chance to see things more clearly. And if you need to vent you can always post here