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The things people say
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in General Chat
Thought we could all have a laugh with some of those one liners people say, or short conversations you over hear that make you laugh.
Currently I can't think of any, but that won't last long.
Currently I can't think of any, but that won't last long.
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Me: It's a reconstruction of an Iron Age village.
Mum: How do you know it's Iron Age?
Dad: It's rusty.
Friend: Smell of cat next time then
Me: On the news they've just shown a moose going into a supermarket...
Dad: To get some custard?
Me: My laptop battery is dying (as in won't hold charge)
Friend 1: Please let me know when the funeral is
Friend 2: Have you tried charging it?
Brother: when it sneezes outside...
Mum: it sneezes outside?
Friend: I'm getting old. I'm going to be 39 on my birthday.
Me: And next year you'll be 40
Friend: In the politest way possible, feck off
Of course my mum being my mum she thought this was a side dish of some kind and phoned my dad to send him running around the supermarket looking for some
Teacher: 'Calm down and don't be so ridiculous. This was happening at my last school long past the 1980's.'
:banghead:
Me: "The Beckhams have named their daughter Harper Seven"
Mam: "Is that when she was born?"
She said that hours before anyone started saying it online
A friend once told me he contacted my dad about something. He then said "at least I think he's your dad. The only other person I could find looks too young to be your dad and I can't imagine your dad being a musician".
GP: According to your MRI scan, you do have a congenital brain disorder. However, the neurosurgeon and his team can't decide what. The good news is, you still have a brain.
Friend: The first thing that came to my mind was http://www.facebook.com/audacitychutzpah
Me: I don't like Java.
Friend: A song for you - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xC8zhWR_-o
I have never been able to listen to that song...
Now, am I being dim, or are full and empty USB sticks the same siz.e?
WARNING! There's been a fight in the biscuit tin. A lad called Rocky hit a Penguin over the head with a Club, tied him to a Wagon Wheel with a Blue Ribbon & made his Breakaway in a Taxi. Police say Rocky was last seen just After Eight in Maryland with a Ginger Nut as an accomplice , only known to the police as Rich T....They didn't leave a crumb of evidence, so the Jammie Dodger might get away with it.
Her: Oh, was that at night then?
Fiend: Stop calling it stupid. Internets have feelings too.
Her reply - was the blood yours?
Tickled me somewhat :cool:
His question - what do I do next? I'd had enough of the job so told him to draw a picture of a small cow and then send it to us by recorded mail, which he found surprisingly funny and said ok i'll sign it and send it off tomorrow. I quit a few days afterwards but to this day hope the quality assurance team listened to that call and took a fit.
Brother: Lovely!
Friend: Did he lick his balls first?
(he didn't)
me: don't walk over my wet floor please.
him: what should i do then?
me: jump over.
doh.
Me: You know what the best thing about this watch is?
Trist: What?
Dan: That trist doesn't have it?
Complete crease...
Another time: (i was drunk)
Me: DON'T MAKE ME STAB YOU WITH MY SWORD
Dan: Dude, that's a glow stick.
Trist: BOOM sit the fuck down.
Me: Dublin
Dad: Don't be so cockey
dad: not so loud please. It's falling apart.
me: What? You just got it. It's brand new.
dad: not the stereo. michael jackson.
Sister: Stop waving it in her face then!
Male boss to me, the only woman around.
"No thanks, it isn't that I don't want you, but I want your bed too'.
Me - Oooo yes. A coconut oyster.
Deb - You can't have that, you're vegetarian.
She's naturally blonde