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Important question from an old man...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Okay guys, I need some help.

Those wonderful people at thesite.org have sent me some spiffing pint glasses, beer mats and condoms. For these I am most grateful.

However, as you know I'm old, married and have kids. So I have an important question.

What are these items actually for?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol:

    You could probably use the beer mat as a mouse mat, if it's big enough?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Give the condoms to your kids and tell them they are balloons...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Give the condoms to your kids and tell them they are balloons...
    They make great water bombs :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What are these items actually for?

    Well, a pint glass is usually used for consuming a pint of liquid- usually but not exclusively of the alcoholic variety. A beer mat is to put said glass on, to mop up any spillages whilst allowing for advertisements to be shown and protecting the table below. A condom is well, for you to use with a lady friend; (or as a water bomb/balloon/hat... whatever floats your boat)

    :razz:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Give them to your son - he'll know exactly what to do with them all

    ;)

    (And what did you to get them?)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I got some for answering a question on Twitter.
  • plugitinplugitin Posts: 2,197 Boards Champion
    You can use condoms in your first aid kit - if you get an injury (say on your finger) you can make the area watertight and continue as usual...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Okay guys, I need some help.

    Those wonderful people at thesite.org have sent me some spiffing pint glasses, beer mats and condoms. For these I am most grateful.

    However, as you know I'm old, married and have kids. So I have an important question.

    What are these items actually for?

    you get PINT GLASSES AND BEER MATS? All I get is lipgloss, nipple tassels and a nudey photos of jim v.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Condoms are good for a posh wank. The pint glasses can be used to keep the condoms in after the posh wanks. Beer mats are good for sticking under the legs of wobbly tables - or wobbly beds when having a posh wank.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ~
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jamelia wrote: »
    I actually just spat my coffee everywhere guffawing with laughter at this. :thumb:

    However, I now feel pretty nauseous at the thought of a pint glass filled with jizzy condoms :sour:

    I could tell you stories about one of my exes that would make that seem appetising ;).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    euw! I'm beginning to wish I hadn't read some replies in this thread...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jamelia wrote: »
    Ugh, please don't!

    Awwww, but you KNOW you want to hear about the dried, flaking jizz stains :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you really wanted to upset your son, just "accidentally" leave the condoms lying around the house somewhere. Parents. Condoms. Teenage boy brain. *barf*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you really wanted to upset your son, just "accidentally" leave the condoms lying around the house somewhere. Parents. Condoms. Teenage boy brain. *barf*

    I did better. I gave them to him saying he would probably have more use that I would, given that I've had the snip.

    Which reminds me of a story my BIL told me. They knew their 17-y-o son had some condoms and so, to wind him up, one night my BIL woke him and said "Son, have you got any condoms left, only your Mum is feeling horny and I've run out"...
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