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Kissing Issue - Odd ?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Everytime that I kiss my girflriend whether it be on the lips, kneck, shoulder, etc...she always wipes the area immediately afterwards with her hand. Most recently, she had just gotten out of the shower and was bent over drying herself off when I gave her a couple soft kisses on the back of her should after which she stated, "Please don't take this offensive or be upset but I don't like that (being kissed there)". I'm not sure whether or not to think much of it but I've never been in a relationship with a girl that has ever done this so I am quite confused. I've asked her about it and the only answer that she can give me is that she just does that (wipes the area afterward or doesn't like being kissed anywhere but on the lips). Even on the lips she wipes them after being kissed there and doesn't like being kissed anywhere else. I thought being kissed on the neck, shoulders, etc...was a turn on (that wasn't my intention) or something that girls enjoyed?

Guys: Have you ever been with a girl that has done/been like this?
Girls: Do/have you done this? Why?

Any comments, suggestions, thoughts, etc...are greatly appreciated. Thanks!


Just for backround information.....we've been together for almost 2 years now and have lived together for a year. We're no strangers to being physical with one another so it isn't a "shy" issue or anything like that...

thanks again!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is she one of those clean freaks who has to clean everything ten times just to make sure?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I personally love it when im kissed in areas other than my lips, find it a bit odd, but everybody is different i guess x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds a bit OCD to me. Has she got any other wierd cleanliness issues?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She is a pretty clean person but I wouldn't say that it's to the point where I'd consider it OCD....I just find it pretty odd. Even if we're laying in bed and I put my hand on her stomach she'll move it to the side and say "I don't like that" or "I don't like the way it feels", etc...odd stuff like that not just when it comes to kissing. We still kiss, hold hands, etc...but she's very picky about where I touch her, where I kiss her, etc...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Has she always done this or is it a recent issue?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    that would piss me off
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She's always done it but she did it a lot less during the beginning of our relationship. It seems like recently she's been more picky about it and that it's been more of an "issue". She still wants to kiss, we do, but when I try and kiss her anywhere else or touch her at all I usually get the reply, " I don't like that" or something to that extent. It almost feels like it's only ok to do when she is the one initiating it other than that she's real picky about it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe you're really irritating her by kissing her where she doesn't like being kissed. Why not just kiss her where she does like it? I have a few spots where I don't like being kissed. If someone carried on doing it after I'd told them I didn't like it, I'd probably punch them in the mouth.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe she has never liked it, but she just sort of went with it? And now she wants to give you a clear message....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That very well may be true but I still find it odd....I find it hard to believe that anyone would be irritated, or not like being touched or kissed by someone that loves them and someone that they love. I'm not saying that all people like to be kissed/touched the same way and I don't expect anyone ( her) to be but I've never had this issue or been with someone that has been like this. If it's possible that she just doesn't like being affectionate/sensual/loving, etc... then why be with someone!?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't see why she's OCD or weird or anything like that. Everyone has different preferences. A lot of people dig when you pull their hair, but my reflex to someone pulling my hair is to knock them the fuck out. I also get nothing from my ear being bitten/nibbled on.

    It seems to me that she may have a strong inclination for her own personal space. This could be for a variety of reasons, but not everyone likes being touched. And others just like to take things slowly. To me, it seems she may have some chastity bounds, whether for religious reasons or whatever, that you should respect.

    The wiping thing is something a lot of people do if the kissing is sloppy. If you trail saliva behind after kissing someone, they may not like that wet feeling you leave behind.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was going to say it might be a slobbery kiss issue. Which actually just makes me feel a little icky just thinking about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I had to ask one of my gfs to be less slobbery when she kisses. I was really embarrassed doing it but otherwise I just found kissing horrid.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have a thing about people touching my bare stomach, I don't know why, it just gives me the creeps and I've had to tell a couple of ex's- 'please don't do that, it gives me the heebie jeebies!' I honestly have no idea why this is, but it weirds me out, anywhere else is fine but just not the stomach! Maybe its something like that?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's pretty normal, i'm like that with everyone, someone for eg touches me in college i shout at them for it and tell them not to touch me, i just don't like being touched in any way by anyone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Knoppix wrote: »
    It's pretty normal, i'm like that with everyone, someone for eg touches me in college i shout at them for it and tell them not to touch me, i just don't like being touched in any way by anyone.

    It's not necessarily normal in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, though. At least, unless she's said before that she has problems with physical contact.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    piccolo wrote: »
    It's not necessarily normal in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, though. At least, unless she's said before that she has problems with physical contact.

    Well it's normal for me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Knoppix wrote: »
    Well it's normal for me.

    I guess this just shows that there is certainly an element of everyone being different with regards to if and how they like being touched.

    It might be that, as yellowseahorse says, she has just recently decided to be more open about what she does and doesnt like - next time she says she doesn't like something, perhaps you could ask her, genuinely, what she does like. This way, you may be able to start a chat about what she likes, and maybe, why things have changed recently. It might be that there are other things going on for her at the moment which means she generally feels less sexual and less like being touched.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fostress wrote: »
    I guess this just shows that there is certainly an element of everyone being different with regards to if and how they like being touched.

    It might be that, as yellowseahorse says, she has just recently decided to be more open about what she does and doesnt like - next time she says she doesn't like something, perhaps you could ask her, genuinely, what she does like. This way, you may be able to start a chat about what she likes, and maybe, why things have changed recently. It might be that there are other things going on for her at the moment which means she generally feels less sexual and less like being touched.

    Agreed! x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This reminds me of someone I knew whose girlfriend pushed him off and shyed away with a cringe whenever he tried to put his arm around her in public.

    Suffice to say they didn't get married, they didn't raise a brood of children, and they aren't living happily ever after together...

    Dump her, before she dumps you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No, no previous history of sexual abuse, abuse, or anything like that at all. I can understand everyone's point regarding the "sloppy" kisses but I don't believe that's the issue at all. I think Chief Jay Strongpeen may have a point when it was mentioned that she has an issue with personal space....it would seem as though that might be the issue. I guess it just doesn't make sense when it's applied in a relationship. I assumed that touching, kissing, etc...was all part of being in a relationship especially an intimate one.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jackson24 wrote: »
    I assumed that touching, kissing, etc...was all part of being in a relationship especially an intimate one.

    But not all people will absolutely love everything. There are places I don't really like to be touched/kissed, and it is nothing to do with how intimate I am being with someone, it is just a personal preference and actually, doesn't really mean anything at all!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Being in a relationship doesn't magically mean you want to share your personal space with someone at all times.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe she just doesn't like cooties. Have you checked to see if you have them?
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