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single life!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i feel like everyone i know seems to be in relationhips or seeing someone & im still single! i hate it & feel like i am never going to find anyone or that no one will ever like me. i know compared to other issues in life this isnt serious but it still gets me down. i mean what is wrong with me! and i feel the longer it is the harder it will be because boys expect so much more from girls now!
anyone else feel the same/can offer advice?!

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    AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    .....................
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Basically, what she said. Trust me i feel like this aaallll the time, ive been single a year and a half now and just feel like im never going to find anyone who i feel strongly about like i did with my exes and who actually likes me as well.

    Its easy to say dont worry, live your life while you're young, somebody will come along when you least expect it etc, but just letting you know you're not the only person who feels this way
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I too have been single for 2 years now and don't think its likely I will find anyone to date where I am living. Many of my friends are couples now which doesn't really help either.

    I would not worry about guys expecting much more from you. If anything I think a lot of guys prefer women who wont be able to compare them to anyone. If a guy is the right guy for you it wont matter how much or how little experience you have had before him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ive been single for 5 months now - and i feel as though nobody is going to want me - because im a single mum and its a terrible mind set to have because i know the right guy for me, will not care, and will be there no matter what

    the same will apply for you - when the right guy for you to date comes along he wont expect too much from you, he will like you for who you are

    Keep the faith, and try and enjoy being single (give me another year ill be feeling the asme :d)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi hiding,

    Have you been doing anything to try and widen the circle of people you know - this can be one of the best ways of meeting new potential partners.

    Volunteering is great - because you can meet people, but you can have time getting on with the task in hand together, and you have something to talk about as well. Lots of people meet people online now too. Even if you don't find the love of your life on there (although lots of people do), it can be fun to go on dates, meet new people and improve your confidence.

    And, finally, everyone is right, being single isn't somehow a 'lesser' state to being in a relationship - both of them have their ups and downs - and relationships can be pretty hard too! At least with being single, you never know what exciting times and people might be just around the corner.. and, if like JanePerson, you don't think you're in a good place to meet people right now, simply reassuring yourself that right now isn't the time for a relationship for you can be really helpful. In the future, the time will be right, but perhaps now, it isnt. That's ok too!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JanePerson its so hard when everyone you know are in relationships, it makes you feel the odd one out, & i feel the same i feel like i need to meet new people becuase where i live there is no one at all! & even if there was they probably wouldnt like me!
    hm maybe you're right but its just the idea that "most" guys have at my age. i want a relationship but because i know what guys think like, i'm kinda scared!

    xbabygirlx i'm sure like you say there is someone out there for us all & i hope you find someone :-) but if you dont find someone in the short term you have a child to focus your love on

    Fostress i find it hard meeting new people especially in large friendship groups

    i've been telling myself that in time i will find someone but i havent, no one at all. i know the longer it is the harder it will be. i mean whats wrong with wanting somone to love?! teenage romance yet i'm missing out on experiences. i try to think positive but its not always easy
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel similar too, but it helps me slightly to remember things like: my parents both went to a mutual friends party. One of them had travelled a few towns to get to this party. They had never met before but, voila here I am. They are still married. Now what if one of them hadn't gone to that one party. The point is, you never know what is round the corner, all it may take is one chance meeting! Try and think like that and it makes it a bit easier to deal with :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been single nearly my whole life. I'd like a relationship and I've been jealous of my friends always having relationships - but none of theirs have lasted, no matter how great they make them appear, behind the scenes its not a pretty picture.

    Don't worry about it! :wave:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you actually go out and approach boys from time to time or just sit around and be sad that nothing happens by itself?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    off topic, but:
    JavaKrypt wrote: »
    I've been single nearly my whole life.

    Really?! but how? I swear I've seen a photo of you and I'm sure I remember thinking "hot". lol.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JavaKrypt wrote: »
    I've been single nearly my whole life. I'd like a relationship and I've been jealous of my friends always having relationships - but none of theirs have lasted, no matter how great they make them appear, behind the scenes its not a pretty picture.

    Don't worry about it! :wave:

    thanks for replying, nice to hear from someone with similar thoughts to me! & its easier said than done not worrying!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    Do you actually go out and approach boys from time to time or just sit around and be sad that nothing happens by itself?

    well i find it difficult going out with groups of people which make it harder to meet people but if i do go out i try to appear confident when in fact i am not but boys usually go for my friends/other girls
    having low self confidence doesnt make it easier along with rejection
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi again hiding :)

    Have you seen thisnetdoctor quiz on self esteem - it's quite a good way of getting an outside perspective on how you view yourself - and can give you some good tips to follow depending on your rating. TheSite.org has an article on self esteem too. Sometimes, taking a bit of time to work on your own confidence and self esteem is a good first step - as you recognise yourself.

    The reason why I mentioned volunteering before is because it can be quite a good way to meet people even when you're shy - it's not like going out, or going on a blind date, where the only focus is talking, flirting and getting to know each other - where its easy to get shy or arkward. Instead, you are doing something you are interested in, with people who are also interested in it - and the focus is on doing the volunteering. But, while doing it, or doing the training, you can get chatting about the volunteering, about the training, about getting it right - and you're well on your way to making friends - or at least practising your social skills and boosting your self esteem! I know a number of people who met their partners through volunteering, plus it's known to boost confidence and happiness so I'm a big fan ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The worst way to miss someone is to be seated by his/her side and know you'll never have him/her. :naughty:
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