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Trapped in my house

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
5 months ago i moved house, lost friends, lost family and got arrested. I'm 17 and now i think i have Agoraphobia (fear of leaving the house and socialising), it's starting to ruin my life as now all i do is stay in and get depressed. I have an apointment with a therapist and i know that doing this is a good start in helping myself.. but how do i get there when i can't leave the house? I've posted a few times before and if i'm honest, i think me and my life are falling apart. :( I have a lot of people to confide in and they are a great support, but i think i need support from people that aren't so close to the subject because sometimes they just get angry. I'm completely freaked out and i just need some kind of out let.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey N.E.F.

    Was the losing of friends and family related to the move? Or were they unrelated events? I'm trying to understand if the move caused a major separation from familiarity or whether there were losses of friends and family by other causes.

    Whatever the case, it definitely sounds as thought you have had major upheaval and clearly a lot of stress. Stress can trigger all kinds of anxieties, I've experience that myself and it completely knocked me off my feet. It seems to be markedly worse when you've been coping for some amount of time, which almost creates a pressure cooker kind of scenario. One small crack in your armour and suddenly it all crumbles.

    I'd be more than happy to offer you more thoughts if perhaps you could elaborate a bit more (either on here or in PM). As I'm sure many others on here would too. I notice you are a fellow Birmingham-ite, which is also nice to see :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Losing my family was due to the move but loosing my freinds was due to getting arrested. I was made to do something i didn't want to and after getting arrested my best friend started threatening me because i told the police who she was. Since then i haven't gone to the place where i meet friends because i was scared she'd be there. Now we are okay but i now have the fear of leaving the house. I think i've been coping with stress for about 5 years and i had depression because of it a few years ago and now i seem to have gotton another load of stuff for stress this time.

    What would you like me to elaborate on?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Okay, so this started out as you making a mistake (under influence/threat by the sounds of it) and being intimidated, and it has developed into a general social phobia. The worrying was probably quite intense for you at the time and it let the anxiety get its hooks into you. Very similar to what happened in my own situation, and once it takes hold it keeps on sinking deeper into you. Not only that but the anxiety often starts to prey on other fears that you have and it changes shape as it becomes more problematic.

    I knew a guy at my school who flicked a match into a dinner lady's hair and it caught fire. She suffered some minor burns, and obviously he got in a fair amount of trouble. The worrying over this event triggered alopecia in this guy and he lost all of his hair. Ironic, some might say, but another example of intensive worrying triggering a very real and physical reaction.

    First of all, have you sought any kind of medical help for your issues? Have you spoken with your GP? Have you received any kind of counselling or therapy? Do you take any medication?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I find it's hard for peole to understand how much fear runs through me when i actually think of going somewhere. My mom is going to take me to do some shopping this week to help me get used to going out. She's going to stay over the night before so that we can spend the day together and get through this together.

    Wow. I know someone that lost their hair too due to stress over her husband having an affair and it was awefull.

    I haven't spoke to nay other profeesional appart from my mom yet but i am going to go and see a therapist next week and i will bring this up. I'm not into medication after my anti-depressents made me worse a few years ago. The fear has always stuck with me but i know that with my moms support i can start to get better. And i haven't spoken to my GP as he is in my old area and it is a long way to go and i tend to have panick attacks.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bringing this up with a therapist is a very positive step. You need to talk to someone who can help you to change your thought processes and to learn healthy and progressive coping mechanisms. It's good that your mum is there for you and is going to try to help you get out, and I hope that goes well, but she might not be equipped to fully understand how the anxiety and fear affect you.

    It's amazingly important to have that support though, and you've already mentioned that you have people you can talk to. I never had that when I was at my worst, unfortunately. I had no family to talk to whatsoever, and I could get out to see friends so they didn't bother either. It was a very lonely time and I wish I'd had someone like your mum.

    I know how crappy the panic attacks are. I can remember being too nervous to sleep in my own bed at one point, due to waking panic attacks. It took me two weeks to get back into sleeping in bed, and a further few weeks before I stopped expecting my night to erupt into terror.

    I'm sorry about your experiences with medication, and I'd be interested to hear more on that if you are able to share.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe try gradually getting out of the house, ie start by sitting in the garden or on the door step if you haven't got a garden, then walk to the end of the street etc... I know someone who suffered from Agoraphobia and that's partly how she dealt with it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My mom is a therapist and i know that it can be a terrible thing at times but she is so good at equaling the therapist and mom instincts. She's always been a great support because she knows how hard it can be and i don't know what i'd do without her.

    I used to not sleep in my bed too but over the last couple of weeks i've started to get more comfortable with the idea. I'm sorry to hear that you were so distresed.

    I have been going in the garden with my mom and she's helped me get to the shop aswell so i feel proud of that.

    My anti-depressants made me feel numb and that started to freak me out so i used to scream for hours and pull my hair out. The second type of medication prescribed made me sick for days and i found it hard to sleep. I haven't had a good history with therapist's or medication but i know that my past experiance's shouldn't stop me from making a go of things this time. So fingers crossed (:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know that my past experiance's shouldn't stop me from making a go of things this time. So fingers crossed (:

    This is right, and good to hear that you are going to go see the therapist with an open mind. Be as honest as you can - about everything. If they suggest medication, just share how it has been for you in the past. It sound's like you have great support and guidance in your Mum, and you really should feel proud of the steps you have taken to overcome your fear of the outside. Well done. We will all keep our fingers crossed for you. Take care and keep posting to let us know how you get on :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thank you. I do have a great support network and i am trying to overcome my fears so i am proud of myself for the steps i have taken so far. I will keep you posted on how things go :)
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