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i am going to starve myself of food till death
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Of course you want attention, you're only human. But this isn't the way to go about it.
We are here to listen, and we are paying attention to you, so if you want to talk about anything, you are more than welcome to.
:yes: And even though it may not feel like it, there are people who care about you.
:chin: :chin: I weighed approx 86kg, I started to turn off food in preparation of my plan. Although I am currently eating, I have lost 5kg.
My problem(s) are many but amount to a few key stoppers. Stoppers that I have no say in and that others – those in the legal field are dealing with.
The circumstances are vast and complex, but in short – I met a woman in 2001. She was from overseas. I believed I fell in love with her. She became pregnant and I was happy with this – since I already had a child from a previous relationship/marriage.
As soon as she leant that she was pregnant, she change dramatically (now I had experienced this before with my now former wife – but this was different) she started to say that I never loved her and did not care because at the time I was still married to my former wife but we were not in any way in a relationship and we were separated and not living together. I intended to divorce her or her me but I did not want to rush because it would bring up all the past so I was just taking it easy.
This was not good enough for my girlfriend. I reassured her and told her a loved her, but she started to hate me and my now former wife although they were not in contact with each other. Then she turned against my other child. She tried to rush me to divorce my wife in order to marry her so that she could remain in the UK because she had been visiting on a visitors visa so could not stay long. She started to threaten me saying and writing she would kill herself and then the threats got worse and involved my child from her. I was in shock and very afraid. However I could not just divorce my wife in time to marry her so that she could stay in UK. I advised her to seek asylum in the UK, although she had no grounds in which to do so, we invented some. I could not allow her to go back to her country because something could happen to my then unborn child because she said she would kill herself. She was accepted as a refugee. Then she started to say that I made her a refugee and was blaming me and of course she did not like the sigma attached to being a refugee.
I could not cop with her because she was attacking me every day. Through my friend she met an old man who lives in the countryside, she went to stay with him and his wife. She manipulated them, for her need and to turn against me by speaking badly about me. Then after our child was born she made it difficult for me to have contact with our child. Then she continued with her threats to marry her and rushed me to divorce my wife, now that she could stay in the UK, in marriage she would be able to get a passport faster and gain my surname because I had registered our child at birth so she wanted the same surname. I was really afraid of what she could do – so I married her against my will – although I always made it clear to her that I never wanted to marry her – but I said that I loved her and wanted to be with her to live together. She liked however to stay with the old man, and he manipulated her with his money since he is quite well off. This is a dynamic situation in many ways that I cannot add all of them here – more to the circumstances that you should know.
The problem is ongoing, it’s at court now but because I took the matter to court I have not seen of heard from my child since March.
It is a very bad situation and it got really very much worse when a girl I met who stayed in my home was unbeknown to me emailing and texting her threatening communications. Although I have witnesses, in the short term no one believed me and they said that I a risk to my child. I still see my other child but because I love and care about my child I had no choice but to fight this matter by bringing the matter to court. Regarding the communications she was receiving, she never asked me about them, even though we did communicate because she knew hat they were coming from the girl who I was hosting – so now she uses this against me. As I wrote there is a lot more to it and there are many issues and circumstances that I decided to write a book in order to get it all off my chest, after I have published my book I plan to starve myself. I plan to finish my book in about 10 weeks time, if I keep up my plan to write 3 hours per day. I’ll give 2 weeks for editing/revising someone will do that for me.
I hope this helps for now.
You are going about this the wrong way. Yes, things have been pretty crappy for you recently, and I am so sorry to hear about everything. Think of your poor child. You are still their father, even though you haven't seem him/her for a while. You are doing the right thing by taking her to court, looking for access etc but all that will have been in vain if you decide to starve yourself to death.
I do understand your need to protest and get your rights, but by doing it this way you will not be doing your cause any good - you could just be seen as an irresponsible parent which may effect the courts decision.
Go to your doctor, seek help, phone samaritans, speak to your solicitor etc. They will advise you a better course of events.
Hope it all works out for you. xx
i would say this though. if you want to see your kid again, starving yourself to the point of near death to make people listen to you is only going to serve to make things worse. for a start, the courts might think that you are incapable of looking after yourself / are suicidal, and therefore wouldn't be capable of looking after a child so would be unlikely to grant you custody of the child. starving yourself will only serve to put you inside a hospital for people who are mentally ill. - i'm sure that is not what you want. like i said before its the wrong way to go about things. you need to convince the courts what a good father you will make if you want to see your kid again.
Sounds like he's doing it to get attention.
but instead of resorting to these extreme measures - why not try talking to the people involved in your situation.
also you said it yourself - you have no control over your life. if you truly believe this, then what do you hope to achieve by starving yourself?
What's wrong with that?
People need care and attention, and its a human reaction to do what you can to get it.
Attention-seeker is always used as a term of abuse, and it shouldn't be.
Control.
If you can't control anything, you do something that you can control. Eating is a big thing you can control.
If he doesn't require attention and help from people then I have no idea who would.
Remember what this site is about before sprouting shit. Give people the benefit of the doubt.
Why thank you
I'd advise anyone reading these boards to remember that they are a place to look for advice and support, and by the very nature of that somewhere people should recieve attention, not be degraded, insulted or assumed to be lying because of it.
And anyone who thinks that this is a place where it's acceptable to take the piss out of people who are identifiying as suicidal need to think and long and hard about whether they should be in forums such as health, or indeed be on these discussion boards at all. Certainly repeatedly posting in such a manner will get the question answered for them pretty fucking quickly.
To me, it seems he's going the wrong way about getting it.
You are right, he is going the wrong way about getting the care and support he feels he needs. Instead of getting it in safe and emotionally stable ways, he is partaking in serious self-destructive behaviour in order to get what he feels he needs.
Whether or not he genuinely intends to kill himself is irrelevant, suicide threats should be taken seriously regardless of intent. If you feel you need to threaten to kill yourself in order to get some TLC, then you are in desperate need of that TLC, I'd say.
There are people to talk to, but its not as easy as picking the phone up and talking. Picking that phone up is very very difficult, especially when you feel that everyone hates you, ignores you, and wouldn't miss you.
It's tough because obviously some people do do it to be manipulative and get what they want with emotional blackmail, but if someone is going to those lengths to be manipulative then they have serious mental health issues anyway.
Just wondering if you got help, if things have gotten any better for you?
Welcome to the boards. Good to see your concern for other users like this - however, we tend not to post on threads that are so old (you can see the date of the post on the top left hand corner - this one is 5 years old), as many of the users may well not be here - or many of the issues that are being discussed may not be relevant to them any more - they may not want them brought back up again. Because of this, I'm going to close this thread now.
Feel free to start a new thread with anything you would like to talk about.
:wave:
Fostress