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So down
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm 24 no real friends, family don't want to know me. I tae drugs to escape, havent had a proper relationship because of self esteem issues, my body is too slim. I feel so down and lonely, im drining and buying research chemicals off the internet. I let people use me because i'm past caring, i'm not looking after myself. I don't tin theres any hope for me, i was just born one of lifes losers.I'm under the mental health team but hardly see them. Its true what the song says you born alone and beleive me you'll die alone. I'm at past caring what happens to me, i've nothing to live for, i'm not popular unless i've got money to buy drugs. I'm at my wits end and i don't know who much more i can take. Reality is a horrible place for me. I'm tired of living but scared to die. :crying:
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Comments
Take care, BB x
I'm really glad you've posted as from what you've told us, your experiences are getting the better of you at the moment. "Reality is horrible." and you're "past caring." However you say you're scared to die. Could this be because you feel there's hope that there are steps you can take to have a better reality? One where you have things to look forward to and can start to build relationships with others you care about?
So far on TheSite.org, although it's clear you're having a really difficult time, your ability to post articulately and with feeling is really admirable and looking at some of your other threads, it's clear that people here want to reach out and offer you support and advice, this is likely to be the case in the outside world too, if you can find the courage to access support for some of the issues you mention, such as drinking and taking research chemicals. brunettebarbie is right, you're totally entitled to support.
In another thread, you told us you loved your mum, do you still see her? It can be hard to tell family members about our problems, but sometimes just spending time with them doing things we enjoy - eating out, watching a movie etc can be a lift to the spirits.
Life may feel lonely at the moment, but the things that are making life harder at the moment - you don't have to face them alone.
Can you think of anything that has made you happy in the past?
*hug*
somebody may not step in so to speak but you're perfectly within your rights to seek help elsewhere or request another worker.
dp