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putting on a brave face
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
how long can you last?
as ive vaguely mentioned amongst other threads ive been having a really rough time lately.
i had a mental health meltdown at work (triggered by a personal fight, flipped out, SHed, got caught) and that has been the tipping point (there has been other stuff- hungover at work etc) and i've lost my job. they've given me a months grace to work and sort myself out and i am acting ok and taking the high road and all this stuff. i have been doing a shit load of therapy and i finally got my meds sorted so i am naturally handling it a lot better than i would have done 6 months ago but still inside i am DYING. like my entire life is just crumbling around me i live where i work so not only will i be jobless i will be homeless and the fallout with my friends here has been messy. i feel like i cant talk to anyone. its a giant mess. and im cracking. i dont really know how things can get any worse but i just know in my heart that if anything else goes wrong im really gonna lose it.
back to my point. how do i a) continue putting on a brave face and not over sharing and verbalising how im really feeling? or b) be honest about how im feeling but not make the situation worse?
as ive vaguely mentioned amongst other threads ive been having a really rough time lately.
i had a mental health meltdown at work (triggered by a personal fight, flipped out, SHed, got caught) and that has been the tipping point (there has been other stuff- hungover at work etc) and i've lost my job. they've given me a months grace to work and sort myself out and i am acting ok and taking the high road and all this stuff. i have been doing a shit load of therapy and i finally got my meds sorted so i am naturally handling it a lot better than i would have done 6 months ago but still inside i am DYING. like my entire life is just crumbling around me i live where i work so not only will i be jobless i will be homeless and the fallout with my friends here has been messy. i feel like i cant talk to anyone. its a giant mess. and im cracking. i dont really know how things can get any worse but i just know in my heart that if anything else goes wrong im really gonna lose it.
back to my point. how do i a) continue putting on a brave face and not over sharing and verbalising how im really feeling? or b) be honest about how im feeling but not make the situation worse?
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Comments
Its a hard question to answer , on one hand there will be situations where you may have to be less vocal, lets say in work ,but you also need a place to be free off judgements and get those thoughts and feeling out..
It sounds like there is so much going on around you your unable to think clear.
How you supportted ? are you intouch with someone you can be honest with without having to wear the brave mask all the time?
May be look at what is the priority in your life at the momnet , you say you might become homeless,but you will need a base to keep you safe, how are things?
Let us know how your getting on
If there isn't anyone close by physically you can be honest with, ranting here or on LJ can help for a bit. But you have every right to feel hurt and betrayed by what's happened. It might not be appropriate to explain this to the people who've hurt you and betrayed you- it probably will make things more messy- but you have valid feelings and you do need to express them somewhere.
Hope you're OK (well, as OK as you can be with everything that's happened).