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Help please...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
hi all am new to this and dont quiet no how to start a new post,,,,but here is my problem,,,over 2 years ago me and my girlfriend were arguing alot and fighting,,,so one night wile i was at work a older women ursula who was 6yrs older came up and started chating,,at the end of the night i ended up givin her a lift home and 2 my regret we ended up kissing and havin the most best sex ever,,,,she never once complained and let me do anything,i ended up staying there the night and in the mornib woke 2 breakfast in bed,,,emmmm i said 2 myself,,,,i had never experienced a women like her for her niceness,,,anyway i got up and was leaving wen we exchanged numbers,,,,,so the 2 of us txted and met up twice more on different occasions,,were the sex was brillant and the company was also,,,than i started 2 txt my dan girlfriend again after our big row so i stopped txtin ursula,,,and got back with my girlfriend,,i hav just found out on boxing day,,that ursula had a child,,,who is now 14 months old,,and after a few sums the date's that i was with her all add up,,,my nerves have been at me as i still havn;t contacted ursula yet to find out for definite the child is mine,,,the other thing that is goin through my head is how will i tell my girlfriend i cheated on her and now have a child and faceing my parents and friends,,,i wuld lovee to be there for the child if he is mine and support ursula aswel,,,but my head is just messes up thinkin bout it,,any suggestions thanks for reading

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You need to ask her if the child is yours, sooner rather than later.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    You need to ask her if the child is yours, sooner rather than later.

    :yes:

    Why are you stressing about something that may quite likely not be yours?

    If Ursula hasn't chased you about it, it's possible that she knows that it isn't yours. I'm quite sure that she didn't have sex exclusively with you.

    If it is yours, it's unlikely that your girlfriend will want to stay with you. Can't say I blame her but you may be lucky.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yea i no but see she lives 20min away from me,,,i did call down to her today but 2 be told by the new residents that they think she has moved back home but they didnt no were it was,,,so am trying find out were she's living now,,,,i understand if the child was mine i wuld wanna be there no mattter wat,,,but dan on the under hand she no's a few people that live beside me and why didnt she try 2 contact me through them
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You need to deal with this as soon as possible. Its one of those situations where the longer you leave it the worse it will be when it all goes tits up. Try contacting her through the people that know the two of you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    teddys88 wrote: »
    why didnt she try 2 contact me through them

    Your spunk, your responsibility to see where it ends up.

    Hell, I can throw my rubbish out of my car window and it land on a dump truck, I'm still responsible for making sure that rubbish gets disposed of properly. And, if you're going to treat your spunk and potential future children like disposable junk, I will draw comparisons...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi teddys88,

    Welcome to the boards :wave: !

    This is a confusing situation to be in. You say you know you slept with her a couple of years ago yet you are not sure if this baby is yours. Before you panic about being a father and telling your girlfriend you cheated, try and find a way to get in contact with this woman. How about searching for her on facebook? Do you know anyone who knew her? You must have found out she had a baby somehow, so perhaps try to go back to this source.

    There is not need to worry about this baby being your child unless you know for sure - as Teagan mentioned;
    If Ursula hasn't chased you about it, it's possible that she knows that it isn't yours

    If you do end up finding out this is your child, you clearly say you want to be a part of his/her life, so have a look at our article concerning the birth father's rights.

    Don't hesitate to keep posting and let us know how you get on *hug*
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