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Parents happiness
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Alritey folks, been a while since i've posted in here. Actually, its been ages!
Anyway, i've been back at home now for 6 months or so permanently since coming back from university and for a while now i've been thinking whether my parents are happy or not. I dont mean that in terms of i think they are due for a divorce or hate each other, nothing like that at all.
I just i dunno get a feeling that they are really bored and unhappy with things in general at the minute. I dunno if other peoples parents are like that, they probably are i dunno.
My view from being here is that my parents dont really do alot in terms of social things or just general hobbies, like going out to the pub, or going out for a meal or going round some friends, or just going out for a walk. They just generally sit around and watch tv until its time to go to bed. Okay i know most people do that, we all do it, but thats what they seem to do ALL the time.
I'd just like to see them go out and enjoy themselves for a night here and there. I always try and hint at little things like they should go try this new restaurant out or go see this new film thats their kinda thing, but they just brush it off and say they cant be bothered.
I know its fair enough, people work full time jobs and cant do things all the time but i dunno, i'd just like to see them enjoying life abit more and breaking out of the same old routine they've got themselves into.
I know its not really upto me, i cant exactly make them do things but does anyone have any suggestions? Or have parents who are the same?
At the end of the day i know its upto them but i'll soon be moving out and leaving home (job etc) and its not great knowing that they'd just be stuck in the same old routine once i'm gone.
Anyway, i've been back at home now for 6 months or so permanently since coming back from university and for a while now i've been thinking whether my parents are happy or not. I dont mean that in terms of i think they are due for a divorce or hate each other, nothing like that at all.
I just i dunno get a feeling that they are really bored and unhappy with things in general at the minute. I dunno if other peoples parents are like that, they probably are i dunno.
My view from being here is that my parents dont really do alot in terms of social things or just general hobbies, like going out to the pub, or going out for a meal or going round some friends, or just going out for a walk. They just generally sit around and watch tv until its time to go to bed. Okay i know most people do that, we all do it, but thats what they seem to do ALL the time.
I'd just like to see them go out and enjoy themselves for a night here and there. I always try and hint at little things like they should go try this new restaurant out or go see this new film thats their kinda thing, but they just brush it off and say they cant be bothered.
I know its fair enough, people work full time jobs and cant do things all the time but i dunno, i'd just like to see them enjoying life abit more and breaking out of the same old routine they've got themselves into.
I know its not really upto me, i cant exactly make them do things but does anyone have any suggestions? Or have parents who are the same?
At the end of the day i know its upto them but i'll soon be moving out and leaving home (job etc) and its not great knowing that they'd just be stuck in the same old routine once i'm gone.
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Comments
There are a number of reasons that couples are like this.
One is definitely "can't be arsed". It's not that they don't enjoy going out or anything but sometimes it's easy to think that it's just not necessary - it's hard to find things to talk about because you know everything about each other and your kids etc and so why not just spend that time at home, where you feel comfortable.
The other main reason is "the rut". It's easy to get into a routine in life and not realise what you are missing - no reason to date like you had as kids and it's not like you feel the need for as much "private" time as you do when dating. Especially if your kids are old enough to go out themselves or young enough to be in bed early.
There's also the issue of childcare and it can be a palaver to arrange a night out and so you get out of the habit. Plus, energy levels reduce when you have a long day at work and then all the household shit to do when you get home.
However, like you I'm not sure that it's healthy for a relationship of as individuals. Again from experience I'd say there's an element of not feeling that "need" to romance each other any more. Personally I disagree with that, it's good to feel wanted like that.
Cheers