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My boyfriend is a bit selfish in bed?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
He's perfect and I love him, but he can be slightly selfish in bed.
1.He doesn't touch me until I've touched him in some way.
2. He doesn't take his time with me, he just goes straight into it so I'm not wet enough and it's not good.
3. He'll hint that he wants another ******** when I gave him one five minutes ago.
4. If I say I'd rather not swallow tonight, he'll jokingly act upset and try and convince me to.
5. When I'm giving him a ********, he'll try to push his penis further into my mouth and it makes me gip.
6. He won't make any effort to make his *** taste nicer, even though I hate it and it makes me gip.
7. He doesn't seem to appreciate it when I give him multiple blow jobs/hand jobs or make him ***.
8. I'll have sex with him when I'm not really in the mood and he knows it, and he doesn't appreciate it.
9. He'll put his enjoyment over mine, e.g If I want to buy a vibrator for myself, he'll ask me to buy sexy underwear to turn him on instead.
10. I told him I want to orgasm, and he says he wants me to as well, and we looked online at how to do it, but he's not following the tips.
11. After he's done things and his arm aches, he sometimes seems to be very quiet and not talk to me much, and he says the reason is "his arm aches" as though it's my fault.
I think I spoilt him a lot, I did everything for him every single day, but now I want something back, I think he's expecting what he got before.
Should I stop pleasuring him until he pleasures me? If I say something, what should I say? I don't want a long drawn out conversation, just something I can say when we're in bed so that he'll do something for me or appreciate it a bit more. I've told him he doesn't seem to appreciate what I do for him, and he doesn't say much other than "yeah I do!"
What could I do for any of the points I made? Should I completely hold off pleasuring him and hope he does stuff to me?
1.He doesn't touch me until I've touched him in some way.
2. He doesn't take his time with me, he just goes straight into it so I'm not wet enough and it's not good.
3. He'll hint that he wants another ******** when I gave him one five minutes ago.
4. If I say I'd rather not swallow tonight, he'll jokingly act upset and try and convince me to.
5. When I'm giving him a ********, he'll try to push his penis further into my mouth and it makes me gip.
6. He won't make any effort to make his *** taste nicer, even though I hate it and it makes me gip.
7. He doesn't seem to appreciate it when I give him multiple blow jobs/hand jobs or make him ***.
8. I'll have sex with him when I'm not really in the mood and he knows it, and he doesn't appreciate it.
9. He'll put his enjoyment over mine, e.g If I want to buy a vibrator for myself, he'll ask me to buy sexy underwear to turn him on instead.
10. I told him I want to orgasm, and he says he wants me to as well, and we looked online at how to do it, but he's not following the tips.
11. After he's done things and his arm aches, he sometimes seems to be very quiet and not talk to me much, and he says the reason is "his arm aches" as though it's my fault.
I think I spoilt him a lot, I did everything for him every single day, but now I want something back, I think he's expecting what he got before.
Should I stop pleasuring him until he pleasures me? If I say something, what should I say? I don't want a long drawn out conversation, just something I can say when we're in bed so that he'll do something for me or appreciate it a bit more. I've told him he doesn't seem to appreciate what I do for him, and he doesn't say much other than "yeah I do!"
What could I do for any of the points I made? Should I completely hold off pleasuring him and hope he does stuff to me?
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Comments
You really need to tell him that you aren't happy and that he's selfish giving him those items above. Sex is supposed to be about both partners and not just a chance for him to get his rocks off.
During sex do you try and move his hand down or give him any subtle hints of what you want him to do?
Also, if you dont want to do something i.e. give him another blowjob or even have sex at all, then dont. You need to be doing it because YOU want to, not just to please him.
Dont do anything for him until he catches on, maybe then he'll realise its all about give and take
And you still think he's the perfect guy?
Do you ever tell him what you want him to do? Do you ever guide him into doing stuff that you want him to do? Do you ever tell him that he needs to get you more worked up?
If you can't even bring yourself to say "blowjob" without hiding behind asterixes, I'd worry that you can't say that to him. If you're expecting him to get the hint just by you thinking about it, you'll be waiting around for a very long time.
You have to tell him what you want and what you need. It then is down to him to provide it. If he doesn't then you know what to do. But it seems unfair to blame him for not giving you what you want when you've never told him what you want. If you're too embarrassed to use the words for things on here, I dread to think what you're like with your partner.
If the OP is not mature enough to use the word "cum" then I do question whether she's mature enough to have a proper conversation about what she wants from sex.
Of course there's a good chance that her boyfriend is an arse, but I always worry about posters on here who are too embarrassed to use the proper words. Using asterixes instead of "naughty" words just makes you look immature.
It sounds like you're making quite a few assumptions here based on a few things that you personally find a bit annoying - the asterixes thing for example. Tiatanks may be a little inexperienced, but that's why she's asking for support on a support forum, I'm not convinced that having a go at her maturity levels is going to help.
Your first post was totally spot on Artic Roll (imo) and so it seems a shame that the second has this insulting edge to it.
Oh and just to back up what you did say before...
TheSite.org's article on female masturbation says this:
:d
Communication, communication, communication. Tell him what you want and if he won't change, bin him. But at least give him the chance.
Also, wtf is gip? Is it even a word?
Quite a lot of people need to be asked. Such is life.
Contradictory. i.e. not perfect :crying: