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What should i do, i like her sister..

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Help i have been seeing this girl who over the months i developed feelings for, she knew i liked her and she told me we would play it by ear but still haven't been in a relationship, met loads of times since September last year, lets call her Lisa. I went out with Lisa last saturday and she ran away when i was trying some clothes on, i have been thinking about her since and everyones advice is to leave it. To make matters more difficult i have seen her sister with them both together 3 weeks ago and she is very attractive, and nicer personality (at least first impressions), i dont know what to do. I still have feelings for Lisa, and i dont know how to play it. I feel really bad about Lisa running away on our meet up, and she hasn't text me back or called me, and even deleted me on facebook. I either want to send Lisa a text saying can't we be friends.. but then i dont want to complicate things with her if i can get with her sister, but i dont want to mess the sister around, becuase i feel like i need somethign to hapen soon, i feel very needy if that makes sense... please someone, you advice please

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If Lisa has seemingly cut you out of her life, I think unless you are sure the sister likes you, she will be unobtainable to you. The sister has probably heard all about you from Lisa. Blood is thicker than water and if they are close sisters, you may as well just move on.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im not sure that Lisa has said anything to her sister, becuase im not sure if her sister thought i was anything more than a friend to Lisa. I was out with her sister and two of her guy friends on friday, and stayed with them, i stayed and walked her sister home, had my arm around her and talked all the way to hers and hugged and she thanked me for walking her home. I suppose its wether or not Lisa has said anything to her since they were out last night. Lisa comes back every 2 weeks to visit the town where her sister and me live.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you're only feeling attracted to the sister because of what happened with the first girl, and you're just clinging onto her as a replacement. If you did get with her things would get complicated quickly.

    I would suggest sorting things out with Lisa first before you try anything with the sister, that way at least it wont seem like you are going behind her back
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 thankyou, i just decided to take the plunge and text Lisa asking her what happened last Saturday, she hasn't replied yet, maybe she won't.. who knows but your right its needs sorting out.. Its wether she will give me an answer or not. Going to go and get some fresh air now i think. Thanks for your help, be back on later..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dont even go there.
    Theyre sisters. Youll tear the family apart.
    Find someone else.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Suzy i understand what your saying, but me and Lisa never "went out" she may of just been leading me on in which case she probably doesn't have any feelings for me, she still hasn't replied to my text and who knows if she will. I suppose the reason she ran off was so that she didn't need to give a reason.. its all very strange and difficult for me though... I will have to wait till her sister comes online, see how she is.. i dont have her phone number or anything..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would walk away. Regardless of if you and Lisa went out or not it would still be weird to then go after her sister. I don't think Lisa would be very happy about it and think in the long term, if you and her sister were together for a long time you would have to go to family parties etc and it would just cause awkwardness for Lisa and her sister. You need to consider the bigger picture with this situation I think. There are plenty of other girls in the world so I would date one of them instead.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for all your advice, im really struggling with this. I have been very depressed this evening, since i text Lisa at 12 i have had no reply at all. I only have her sister on facebook i shouldn't delete her but im finding it very hard to be online about this, i have spoke to soo many people about my problems, i've never been like this before.. Thanks for everyones advice.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lisa's sister will hate you if you are the kind of person who got with her only because her sister was unavailable.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Giraffe i hear what you saying but if her sister was to go out with me and spend time with me i could easily fall for her given time, she is very beautiful. And makes her sister look mad in comparison, she seems a lot more manerable and aware of being pleasant to people. I'm not that kind of person, im soo angry that Lisa has left me like this.. its a week on and im still feeling like this :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not sure if i have this right so correct me if i am wrong.
    U are friends with lisa's sister anyway? u hve been out with lisa's sister and had your arm round her right?
    Well i am guessing Lisa 's sister may have told lisa about u and with sibling rivalry Lisa could have tried to get u all for herself and when u fell hook line and sinker for her she does not want u anymore, just ignore her and get on with her sister x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    do you live in a small village where only one family is available or somethin?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Flowergirl, i met Lisa's sister for the first time 3 weeks ago and got on well, did photos together and yes walked her home with my arm round her on friday night. I did develop feelings for Lisa and yes im guessing thats why she has run away from me. I haven't heard back from Lisa, and guessing now thats how its going to stay. I have emailed her sister today to see if she wants to borrow some CD's off me. THanks for your reply Flowergirl, i just feel bad about everything atm.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats ok, i hope everything works out for u, try not to be to pushy thou it could be a little off putting for some girls thou some girls do like to be chased lol!! x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi goddog2,

    It is understandable that you feel angry and frustrated by what Lisa did last week. It is really insensitive of her to have walked out on you without a word and is now ignoring your messages. It's courageous of you to have texted her though. Lexi99 is right, this needs to be sorted so you can get some kind some closure, and before anything can happen with her sister.

    From what i understand you really liked Lisa. Dealing with unrequited feelings is hard and can leave you confused and upset;
    Only time can help get strong emotions into perspective. You can't fall out of love with someone overnight, after all, and in some ways you need to grieve for this lost love. It's easy to become withdrawn from everyday life when you're bewitched by someone who doesn't feel the same way, but it's vital that you get out and fill your time constructively.

    If you feel you can get over Lisa, this is good news. However you might need to think about whether the feelings you have for her sister are real? You have been through a lot with lisa and it is only natural to feel the need to rebound - however try not to use her sister in this way, it will only hurt you further. If you think you truly like her, then perhaps you could get to know her better first and take it from there?

    Don't hesitate to keep posting and let us know how you get on *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks soo much Christele for your response, i will no doubt bump into Lisa again at some point, but not sure if we will be on talking terms by the way things are looking, her ignoring me. And im aware to try to understand my feelings slowly for her sister, im going around soon with some albums for her, not suggested anything else, she may invite me in i've not talked about doing anything else, so will see what happens. I still have Lisa on my mind all the time, my brother can't understand my mood swings, i think its that im talking to her sister which has helped me a little through feeling bad. If i see Lisa im not sure if i would be soo eager to speak now, however if she spoke to me then maybe.. im not going to ignore her sister just becuase of her. Most likely to see Lisa with her sister in the pub sometime, which may bring some issues between me and Lisa to her sisters attention.. So long as Lisa doesn't make up something, i dont see there being a problem. If i get to know her sister more, i will have a better understanding of my feelings i guess.. thanks for your feedback.
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