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going insane.. ?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I feel like im truly starting to 'lose it' and desperately need some help, but i dont want to talk to anyone about this face to face.
Ive been struggling with depression for a while now, and have been fighting a self harm addiction for a few years. Just lately things have been getting worse and worse. My sister has started having a difficult time aswell recently, and i felt it had given me a reason to stay strong, because i want to help her. But ive started.. hearing this voice.. at the moment it doesnt really say much, just tells me all these different ways to end my life
And also today, i was walking home from school, listening to music, and the song "Keep holding on" came on, and to be honest the lyrics made me feel strong, and this 'voice' seemed to be almost screaming at me, and kind of showed me this image, of my self throwing my phone on the floor and stamping on it. Also, when i came to a road, it was quiet and the voice was telling me to wait until there was a car and to step out. (This is something ive done before, before i started hearing this voice.)
Then, the voice seemed very happy when i was walking through the grave-yard i always pass through to get home. And i felt suddenly free, and happy because i was surrounded by the dead.
Feeling really confused, as i have been kind of happy recently and thought things were looking up for me.
Any advice/support would be amazing.. x
Ive been struggling with depression for a while now, and have been fighting a self harm addiction for a few years. Just lately things have been getting worse and worse. My sister has started having a difficult time aswell recently, and i felt it had given me a reason to stay strong, because i want to help her. But ive started.. hearing this voice.. at the moment it doesnt really say much, just tells me all these different ways to end my life
And also today, i was walking home from school, listening to music, and the song "Keep holding on" came on, and to be honest the lyrics made me feel strong, and this 'voice' seemed to be almost screaming at me, and kind of showed me this image, of my self throwing my phone on the floor and stamping on it. Also, when i came to a road, it was quiet and the voice was telling me to wait until there was a car and to step out. (This is something ive done before, before i started hearing this voice.)
Then, the voice seemed very happy when i was walking through the grave-yard i always pass through to get home. And i felt suddenly free, and happy because i was surrounded by the dead.
Feeling really confused, as i have been kind of happy recently and thought things were looking up for me.
Any advice/support would be amazing.. x
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Comments
you do know that it might not go away unless you do speak to someone about it, don't you? i know it's really scary but it might be best for you to speak to a doctor about it, or to speak to your parents, or whoever you trust. also try to write down what the voice says, because if you do see someone about it they will want to know, and that might feel a bit easier than telling them yourself.
In my case they used the idea of 'watchful waiting' which is essentially monitoring how it goes on - whether it progresses or calms down.
I found after a month or so it calmed down and never really returned. I was really stressed at the time, and it sounds like you are too, so it could be perhaps linked to that?
i dont really know of people i can talk to around my area
but i will try speaking to my doctor.. which will be scary. im not only scared of peoples reactions to this stuff, but ive only seen my doctor once in my life, back when i was about 5.
Yeah i guess underneath i know i need to talk about my problems. Its just not easy, as ive always felt pushed away and as if nobody fully listens.
obv dont want to let the receptionist know what i wat to talk to them about, but who should i ask to see? :S