If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
My coworkers are ostracizing me. When will they come back?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Work & Study
Ok so...at first, most people used to talk to me. In fact, when I first started, every single person talked to me but ONE girl. Now, I have a problem with anyone not liking me. idk y, but I can't accept that not everyone's gonna like me, so I riase hell whenever someone don't. No one is liked by everyone, but I have to be to keep my sanity.
I'll call her Kyra. Kyra liked most other ppl but not me. One day, I begged her and tried to pay her money, which she turned down. They called corporate on me and told me firmly that's unacceptable. That was when other ppl started avoiding me. For an anger outlet, I treated other ppl like sh*t and got written up. When my boss said 2 more write ups and I'm gone, I flicked her off when she turned around (she never ound out.) Then it got to the point I stared at Kyra on my days off and got asked to leave bc I "stalked" her. She was afraid I'ma do something, so she had 2 other ppl add me on FB to watch me.
Finally, I screamed at my boss publicly bc my rage needs outlet. That really sealed the deal. Aside from 2 weeks suspension and ending up w/ on-call hours when I returned, I got completely ostracized. This was a team based environment, but coworkers even refused to lend me a hand when I needed it, slowing down my work. Three weeks after I returned from suspension, I quit. Can anyone tell me why those who used to talk to me ended up ostracizing me? When will they come back?
I remember also windexing Andrea's coat bc Kyra's her friend.
When Kyra gave a few coworkers boxes of chocolate for christmas, I stole a few from them.
Kyra didn't like some of the ppl she's currently friends with. Jane told me Kyra hated her for months until she accidnetly made coffee wrong and burned ppl and Kyra thought it was funny. Anyway, I purposely made coffee wrong and burned myself, but Kyra just got disgusted.
After I quit, Kyra even go out to eat with coworkers outside work. I tried to add her to FB but she ignored me
I'll call her Kyra. Kyra liked most other ppl but not me. One day, I begged her and tried to pay her money, which she turned down. They called corporate on me and told me firmly that's unacceptable. That was when other ppl started avoiding me. For an anger outlet, I treated other ppl like sh*t and got written up. When my boss said 2 more write ups and I'm gone, I flicked her off when she turned around (she never ound out.) Then it got to the point I stared at Kyra on my days off and got asked to leave bc I "stalked" her. She was afraid I'ma do something, so she had 2 other ppl add me on FB to watch me.
Finally, I screamed at my boss publicly bc my rage needs outlet. That really sealed the deal. Aside from 2 weeks suspension and ending up w/ on-call hours when I returned, I got completely ostracized. This was a team based environment, but coworkers even refused to lend me a hand when I needed it, slowing down my work. Three weeks after I returned from suspension, I quit. Can anyone tell me why those who used to talk to me ended up ostracizing me? When will they come back?
I remember also windexing Andrea's coat bc Kyra's her friend.
When Kyra gave a few coworkers boxes of chocolate for christmas, I stole a few from them.
Kyra didn't like some of the ppl she's currently friends with. Jane told me Kyra hated her for months until she accidnetly made coffee wrong and burned ppl and Kyra thought it was funny. Anyway, I purposely made coffee wrong and burned myself, but Kyra just got disgusted.
After I quit, Kyra even go out to eat with coworkers outside work. I tried to add her to FB but she ignored me
0
Comments
No you read that right. But I like treated cursed out 4 ppl and the entire place don't like me. I'm like...?
Well, no one knew I ate their chocolate and damaged a coat, but they DID know I was rude and abusive. I only wanted them to forgive me bc Kyra hurt me and I needed an anger outlet.
No I don't. Still, it doesn't feel too good to be ostracized.
thats what happens when you take your anger out on other people
by not wanting to be my friend.
Well, I WANT everyone to be my friend even though I know it's impossible (not just for me, but for anyone.) I just wanna know how to not need everyone to like me.
wtf
I've known girls who are like you in that they can't handle even one person disliking them but they don't take it to those extremes, you're off the wall mental!
Perhaps you should try realising how counter-productive that sort of behaviour is, people aren't going to like you if you continue with that sort of nonsense. It's crazy.
That said, I would love to get a job wherever you end up working next! :thumb:
yeah my shrink and I just started working on this issue.
At Wal-Mart, when Emily won't be my friend. I begged her and gave her money (once!) and got written up for harassment. I stood by the fitting room instead of working bc Emily worked in the nearby dept. I got a poor eval for poor productivity. I stopped standing by the fitting room but spent the rest of my time at Wal-mart being angry that Emily "caused this." Finally, I exploded and cursed out Melissa and physically assaulted the fitting room pole. I got canned for workplace violence.
The job I described above was at McD's w/ Kyra. Ever sicne I quit in May, I haven't found a job since. I also recently got diagnosed w/ Borderline.
Yes I am and I'll prolly need plenty more in the times to come. What made Kyra not like me from DAY 1?! I remember every time new ppl came to work, I would pray for Kyra to hate her too. When Kyra becomes her best friend, I'd treat that person like shit.
Kyra liked Anne very much (same age). Whenever Anne said anything to me, I’d become an inanimate object, neither saying anything nor moving a muscle. Anne happened to be one of the managers and whenever she asked me to do something, I’d pretend not to hear. Once, when Anne said she saw my facebook which said what school I went to and asked what I’d studying, I exploded, “Psychology, so I could understand how ppl like YOU got Kyra to like her!”
Can't help that I'm jealous.
It sounds like you are going through a bit of a difficult time with your friends at the moment and are not quite sure how to deal with it *hug*
From your first post it sounds like your behavior has upset a few of the people you used to work with. You say that you don't understand why they aren't continuing to be friendly towards you, but Melian gave some good advice would you be happy to be treated the way that you treated your ex-colleagues? If you have upset them it is unlikely that they will immediately start talking to you again, or add you as a friend on Facebook. They may be wary of you because your behaviour has been a bit unpredictable and it is likely that other people have heard about this and are now not sure how to approach you. Have you thought about apologising to them or speaking to them to try and build bridges? They may respect you for taking the first step rather than expecting them to contact you.
You mentioned that you have started speak to a counselor about your issues, which may including dealing with anger, and it's great that you are getting some support and have someone to chat to about your feelings. How are the sessions going? Do you feel that they are helping?
Lea gave some really good advice too: No one can ensure that everyone they meet will want to be their friend, and for many people it's more important to have a few close friends. There is a great section on TheSite all about friendships which you might like to read through. It has articles such as how to survive a row, what to do when you are struggling with a friendship and how to be a good mate.
Hope that the sessions with your counselor are helpful, keep us updated with how you are getting along
You're not in pre-school anymore, it takes a lot more than simply saying sorry to mend adult relationships. Plus you're an idiot for thinking you can behave like that towards people and it won't have any effect on them. Now you're just going to have to deal with it and accept the fact that you caused the problem and that she isn't your friend. You need to move on, and if you can't do that and accept people will treat you differently now, then find a new job!
I had quit that job in May last year bc I couldn't stand being ostracized. Ever since then, I couldn't find a job even after 9 interviews. Frustrating!