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sex advice- any other girls experienced this!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi there,
was with my guy a few days ago , we played about and was hard for him to get inside me cos i was tight, we used plenty of lube, cherry durex one stung a bit at times, i read on the net that it would, wonder why though! he fingered me starting with 1 then building it up to 3, i was in agony but didn't bleed i wanted him to cos i wanted him to sort out my hyman so sex next time is better .. do u think he got through my hyman and sex would be better? he only seemed to go inside me if i got on top and laid back and sat on his cock, first time it did hurt when i sat, any other positions we could do?
hoping you can help!
hope it was a normal experience that other girls have felt also

Comments

  • katypatatykatypataty Posts: 21 Boards Initiate
    Hi marcbolanfan
    Hope you had a nice weekend :d
    Just wanted to point you in the direction of the 'Having Sex' section of TheSite.org as there are lots of useful articles there which could help answer some of your questions, in particular one about painful sex which you might like to read.
    http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/havingsex
    http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/havingsex/performanceproblems/painfulsex
    Everyone's experiences with sex will be different so don't worry to much about comparing your personal situation to your friends. If you're ever really worried about anything you can visit your GP or a local Brook Advisory Clinic.
    Hope that's useful
    Take care
    :wave:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey,
    thanks i did have a nice weekend- to be honest i'd prefer if someone could answer my questions- that article didn't tell me anything that i don't already know.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not quite clear from your post as to whether it was your first time, or if you've been sexually active for a while and this is a new thing, or what.

    If you could give some ideas on those lines that would help.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    was technically the second time-- first time didn't seem to be as bad going in, was same position though, me on top--only hurt as first when he asked me to sit on him-- this time more recently seemed to hurt more when he fingered me like i said in previous message cos i wanted the painful part to be over so he went in deep and hopefully broke my hyman
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    someone please help me instead of saying they hope i had a nice weekend!! :(
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hey Marcobolanfan,
    Sorry you had that pointless ' how was your weekend' post - it was just a spammer and has now been removed so try not to be irritated by it. ;)

    The experience you described in your first post is pretty normal and may well relate to how relaxed you were feeling. Although artificial lube can aid the process, it's not necessarily a magic cure for potential pain if you skip spending time with foreplay and rush into penetration. There are lots of positions you and your guy could try and ultimately taking your time and getting well into the mood will mean that it becomes more pleasurable. It's also good to keep talking with your guy to make sure he knows what feels good for you. It is also true that the hymen can hurt when it first tears, but after that first time, it shouldn't continue to be an issue.

    As we're not trained medical professionals at TheSite.org, if after further experimentation you're still feeling pain and are worried about it, then a trip to a brook clinic as suggested by katypataty may well be a good move - they're really friendly advisors and are specifically trained to help young people and can probably answer any fundamental health related issues.

    If you don't have a brook centre local to you then you always ask them a question via email - https://www.askbrook.org.uk/Question.asp

    Or select sexual health in our askTheSite service to get an answer from a trained professional.

    Let us know if you have any further worries along these lines. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I found it a lot worse if I was nervous, such as the first few times I did it. So maybe if you can relax a bit before hand it may be beneficial?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for your help.. so this time shouldnt hurt if he fingered me deep last time and that really hurt? glad its a normal thing what happened with me-the cherry lube stung too is that supposed to happen? someone says i may be allergic, will go into ann summers with my guy later and see what they say, wonder if im allergic to them all in the durex range or each has slightly different ingredients !
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe stick with none flavoured lubes until you've managed it a few times without pain, Boots and Durex do a decent plain lube. It is normal for the first few times to be painful or uncomfortable, but tends to be worse if you're nervous. If you're feeling anxious about the pain, maybe try relaxing in a hot bath for a bit before sex to see if that makes things easier. Remember, it can be easier and faster for a man to get in the mood for sex, take your time with foreplay and communicate with him so he doesn't try penetration before you're ready.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You should only really worry about using flavoured lube if you're expecting to have oral sex and he doesn't like the taste of your bits. Generally it isn't as good as unflavoured lube. If you are finding that lubrication is a problem you should try using KY Jelly- it is cheap, it is good for sensitive skin and it works well as lube.

    With regards to the pain, it is better to take it slowly than to rush it 'to get it over with'. If you try and take too much inside you too quickly it will hurt; take it slowly and let your vaginal walls get used to the girth of his cock. If you were fingering it could also be that a fingernail caught you and made a little cut inside you- make sure his fingernails are short and blunt.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JUst go to Boots for the lube. KY's as good as any of the fancy Glide stuff, and Boots don't rape you with their prices, unlike Ann Summers!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah im small as well , wonder why our frame has anything to do with being tight.. which normal lube is good to get from durex? so i guess i was sensitive to the cherry one? will try a unflavoured one this time .. we always did do plenty of foreplay before hand .. the fingering hurt cos i was tight apparently, need to get over the tight/ pain issue, what other positions do u think could work for us ? me on top only seemed to work
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JUst go to Boots for the lube. KY's as good as any of the fancy Glide stuff, and Boots don't rape you with their prices, unlike Ann Summers!

    dont bother with the durex one, ky is cheaper
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    got a durex aloe vera one so hopefully that should be fine for me!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi chad here, I no what u lot mean, as I hav this sweet amazin girl with the same situation, an its kinda the same thing in that she's a girl with a petit frame; makin our 1st time a bit painful for her, an that the falvoured lube does'nt agree with her, and so we've got anti allergin, alovera lube and wanna find some more comfortable position 4 when we're next 2gtr, Given that we spend a gd amount of time on foreplay, just wondering if any1 had some ideas, as wanna make feel comfortable during, any gd suggestions will be appericated. Chad
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    aww chad was a nice thing to say :) that ur girl is sweet and amazing .. yeah defo need help cos we did everything right so dont know why it hurt and wasnt as i expected.. hope some more people can help
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    anyone got ant tips for positions or to make it more enjoyable for us?
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