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never ending cycle

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
i feel so much hatred and anger for myself right now.. :(

i dont really know what, but the smallest things are tipping me over the edge at the moment. a soft word will send me to tears, any small comment makes me depressed or angry..

and every time i cut, it seems to work less, and doesnt always bleed so i end up cutting more.

and now i feel everyone staring at me.. and i even felt my tissue staring at me today.
i know something is wrong, but i dont want to tell anyone because i know they will judge me.
im distancing myself from everyone because im scared of what they will say if i tell them any thing, despite how much they have been there in the past/

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there,

    You've spoken about feeling hatred for yourself, cutting yourself, feeling close to the edge and being afraid of what others may be thinking. This all sound's like a lot to be be coping with on your own. What makes you think that people will judge you? It can be difficult to accept help, but there is lots of non-judgemental and positive support out there if you want to access it.

    Which people have been there in the past for you? Is there just 1 of those people that you trust with your feelings at the moment?

    Thesite boards are always here too post on too - take care :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i suppose there is one..
    but, if you have seen any of my other posts, im getting really paranoid about wasting her time etc etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, perhaps just give it a try?

    If she is a good friend to you, she shouldn't feel you're wasting her time. Maybe you could be open with her and tell her that you are feeling paranoid about bothering her - see what she says... :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    okay, thanks ..

    i'll do my best:)
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