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Should I ask her?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
This thread might be a waste of time since I can't talk to girls let alone make small talk with them.

There's this lass at work who is a few years younger then me, I'm 26, she's well fit and gorgeous.
I think she came out of a relationship this or last month.

I don't talk to her at all, she only asked me what time it was yesterday and thats all.

Should I ask her out or not? If she says no I'll have to see her every day at work!!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Get to know her first x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No. Not until you talked a bit to her and got to know her. If you can't do that, learn it by doing it. If you are too stubborn or scared to do that, don't ask her out. She will rebuff you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Um, no.

    You don't even know if you like HER or not, you just think she's pretty.

    Good lord.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote: »
    Um, no.

    You don't even know if you like HER or not, you just think she's pretty.

    Good lord.

    No I do like HER
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mr.Ferrari09 wrote: »
    No I do like HER

    but you said you don't know her...
    Sweetie, you have to get to know her before you ask her out. Or she will think you are weird and say no x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't see why you guys are so hung up on getting to know her first. That is what a first date is for. How many times have you gone out with somebody on a blind date or you just met somebody at the bar, grocery store, uni, friend of a friend and you asked them out or vice versa just becasue you thought they were cute and having not said much to them before. Happens all the time. I'm sure you could find a hundred threads on here about how somebody finds somebody attractive and what should they do, with the answers being, well just grow a pair and ask them out. I think you are being a little harsh, just becasue of this poor guys reputation of previous posts.

    As for the original question, the only thing I would be wary of is the working together. If you work in close proximity and will come into contact every day, it could be awkward... but really, only if you make it. So if you are able to keep things professional at work, then why not. You never know without trying :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my name wrote: »
    I don't see why you guys are so hung up on getting to know her first. That is what a first date is for. How many times have you gone out with somebody on a blind date or you just met somebody at the bar, grocery store, uni, friend of a friend and you asked them out or vice versa just becasue you thought they were cute and having not said much to them before. Happens all the time. I'm sure you could find a hundred threads on here about how somebody finds somebody attractive and what should they do, with the answers being, well just grow a pair and ask them out. I think you are being a little harsh, just becasue of this poor guys reputation of previous posts.

    As for the original question, the only thing I would be wary of is the working together. If you work in close proximity and will come into contact every day, it could be awkward... but really, only if you make it. So if you are able to keep things professional at work, then why not. You never know without trying :)

    Yea, but how is he going to ask her out if he can't even talk to her? Slip her a post-it note under the door? If someone was too awkward to even say a word to me, I don't even want to imagine how awkward the date will be.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my name wrote: »
    I don't see why you guys are so hung up on getting to know her first. That is what a first date is for. How many times have you gone out with somebody on a blind date or you just met somebody at the bar, grocery store, uni, friend of a friend and you asked them out or vice versa just becasue you thought they were cute and having not said much to them before. Happens all the time. I'm sure you could find a hundred threads on here about how somebody finds somebody attractive and what should they do, with the answers being, well just grow a pair and ask them out. I think you are being a little harsh, just becasue of this poor guys reputation of previous posts.

    As for the original question, the only thing I would be wary of is the working together. If you work in close proximity and will come into contact every day, it could be awkward... but really, only if you make it. So if you are able to keep things professional at work, then why not. You never know without trying :)
    In a setting where they didn't work together, I'd agree with you. But since they do, I think the best way would be to get to know her a bit first, so that it doesn't then become awkward.
  • littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    Ask her out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Think I'll speak to her on facebook for a bit, probably over christmas only if she doesn't go to her country for christmas.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good idea MrF, let us know how you get on x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yep. I will do
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Mr.Ferrari09,

    It is hard to like someone so much, yet are not sure how to approach them or eventually ask them out in order to get to know them better.

    To have that first conversation is crucial, yet as you mention you will try to contact her via Facebook during these holidays, so perhaps this can work online for now?

    Dating someone at work can be tough and complicated, yet after getting to know her better, there will hopefully be some kind of indication into how she feels (as well as how you feel) - which will be easier for you to take it from there!

    Good luck :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, I've decided that I'm not going to ask her out. I've spoke to her on facebook a few times.

    As christele says its 'tough and compicated'. And I'm just not going to make anything awkward between us because we see each other every day at work.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well as you don't speak to her, does it matter if it's awkward if she says no? Just ask her out, you've nothing to lose.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    id try and speak to her a bit more first.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't ask her out for a date, rather start off as if you were asking her out for a date and ask her for a blowjob instead.

    You may be surprised how well this works.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mr.Ferrari09 wrote: »
    There's this lass at work who is a few years younger then me, I'm 26, she's well fit and gorgeous.

    Erm .... you're not punching above your weight are you? :blush: Are your aspirations with her realistic, considering that you struggle to talk to girls?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Mr.Ferrari09,

    I hope you don't feel I have discouraged you by saying "can be tough and complicated"? Every situation is different and it is up to whether you think it is worth it :)

    Good luck :wave:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote: »
    Don't ask her out for a date, rather start off as if you were asking her out for a date and ask her for a blowjob instead.

    You may be surprised how well this works.

    :lol: Oh no don't say that! I now have a vision of her giving me one.



    christele wrote: »
    Hi Mr.Ferrari09,

    I hope you don't feel I have discouraged you by saying "can be tough and complicated"? Every situation is different and it is up to whether you think it is worth it :)

    Good luck :wave:

    Hi christele. Don't worry you haven't discouraged me. I personally think it will be complicated working at the same company if she rejects me.
    It would be better if I didn't work there, then I would send her a message on facebook, maybe with my mobile number, and ask her out for a couple of drinks or for a walk.:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've spoke to the lass twice with me actually saying "Hi" on Facebook. It doesn't look like she's interested because she doesn't say "Hi" first.

    :(:crying:


    I notice she's on Facebook every evening. I don't really want to ask her straight away if she's interested.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mr.Ferrari09 wrote: »
    I've spoke to the lass twice with me actually saying "Hi" on Facebook. It doesn't look like she's interested because she doesn't say "Hi" first.

    :(:crying:


    I notice she's on Facebook every evening. I don't really want to ask her straight away if she's interested.

    So you have facebook stalked her then? :chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why don't you just talk to her a bit and see what happens? Stop playing games about whether she says hi first, or whether the fact that she's out on a Saturday night means she's not interested, or whatever.

    She clearly doesn't see you as a complete creep because otherwise she'd have blocked you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe the problem is that you always spend so much time "should I or shouldnt I" that the person in question either gets bored or doesnt notice you in the first place.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my name wrote: »
    I don't see why you guys are so hung up on getting to know her first. That is what a first date is for. How many times have you gone out with somebody on a blind date or you just met somebody at the bar, grocery store, uni, friend of a friend and you asked them out or vice versa just becasue you thought they were cute and having not said much to them before. Happens all the time.

    I would agree. It's just easier to fuck up the "asking out" process, because you have no previous encounters with the person to back you up in your conversation.
    my name wrote: »
    As for the original question, the only thing I would be wary of is the working together. If you work in close proximity and will come into contact every day, it could be awkward... but really, only if you make it.
    G-Raffe wrote: »
    Maybe the problem is that you always spend so much time "should I or shouldnt I" that the person in question either gets bored or doesnt notice you in the first place.

    If you have no confidence in yourself, people can sense that and it makes them hesitant or turned off. If you're confident in how you approach her, it won't seem creepy-- it will seem bold and possibly sexy. If you're hesitant and nervous when you ask her-- it will seem creepy and quite possibly even just sad.

    How you perceive yourself and how you perceive the situation always shows in your actions and approach. By now, it sounds like she might already be aware that you're interested. If you've Facebook stalked her and said enough awkward "Hi's" and nothing more. Women generally are pretty hyper-sensitive to that kind of thing. I'd recommend either making a really bold move or just backing off to save whatever pride you have left.
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