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How to make this sound more interesting?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmmm, how about....

    I did write a message, but my dog ate it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Mr.Ferrari09,

    Did you want to share something on this thread or would you like me to delete it?

    Please do not hesitate to post if you need anything

    :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry guys. I did write something but I thought the better of it because I've wrote something like this before and couldn't be bothered doing it again.

    Oh well, here it is again.....Read the following and let me know what you think of it. Tell me (girls) what you really think about it.

    I've tried to make it more 'interesting' but no one hardly looks at my profile. I send messages to 'people I find attractive' but I receive no replies.






    "I am on here looking friends which may lead to a relationship. I'm looking for someone who is around my age, who is caring and genuine.

    I would like to meet someone interesting, who shares a few of my hobbies. I would describe myself as genuine, caring, honest, quiet and somewhat adventurous.

    I'm currently working in Skipton full time, but currently looking for something else.

    I have been driving for 5yrs. At the moment I own a 2004 Fiesta.

    I don't watch much television as I am out walking, cycling or fishing most of the time in the Yorkshire Dales. I sometimes have a walk around the Washburn Reservoirs or in the opposite direction around Clapham, Malham or Ingleton. Or I have a walk near home.

    If I do watch television, I enjoy blu-rays or comedies like Lord of The Rings, True Blood, CSI, Friends, Inbetweeners, South Park, Scrubs and Two and a Half Men. I enjoy watching Autumn/Springwatch when it on as I am very much interested in wildlife and nature.

    I enjoy listening to my favourite artists like Paramore, 30 Seconds to Mars, Pendulum, Neuroticfish, Taylor Swift, Foreigner, Rihanna, Cheryl Cole, Westlife (Yep I'm a fan lol), Nelly, The Script, Bryan Adams, Eminem, Linkin Park, Dead By Sunrise, and DJ Sammy. I like to listen to Dance music such as Clubland.

    I have a passion for photography. You wouldn't believe how many photos I have on my computer!!

    I'm also interested in gaming. I won't bore you with what games I currently enjoy or waiting for as you may not be interested in the PS3.

    If I sound interesting, then please feel free to send me a message."
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It is way better than the old one. I think it is superfluous to look for someone "caring and genuine" that is a given. Nobody would describe himself as "nice, reliable, honest, but uncaring and not really genuine." It doesn't describe the kind of person you look for.

    The thing about your hobbies is good. That you are out much. It is again superfluous where exactly you walk etc. And everything that is superfluous is negative in my opinion. Like on a CV.

    Maybe go a bit more into detail about your photography hobby. Many people say they are into photography but only mean snapping pictures with their cellphone. maybe this is just me, but I find it to be a beautiful hobby and I like to see others being passionate about it. So maybe put in parentheses which camera you own and upload 4 or your best shots.

    Video gaming is a bit of a stigma to girls. Maybe just say you own a PS3, but you don't get around to play it much, but you turn it on from time to time to have some quality time with your mates.


    I guess, but it sounds alright.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If I do watch television, I enjoy blu-rays or comedies like Lord of The Rings

    If I read the whole sentence it makes sense, but I did have to read that first part a couple of times.

    With what has already been said there isn't too much else I feel I can add.

    Perhaps "I enjoy blu-rays and comedies, such titles as;"
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if i am honest... that is kinda terrible, no offence, its a mess and a muddle, ffs why do you have you drive n own an 04 fiesta,

    you do not need to go into specifics of where you walk, here is how i would rewrite yours..
    Im looking to meet new, interesting people around my age for friendship and possibly more.

    I would like to meet people who share my hobbies and passions and who is willing to try new things. I would describe myself as honest, caring and quiet with a small adventurous side.

    I work full time in skiptom however I am always looking to further myself and my career
    do not mention driving
    Im a very outdoorsy person and a spend a lot of my time walking, cycling or fishing in the yorkshire dales. I enjoy walking in various places so long as it is quiet, peaceful and close to nature.

    I seldom watch tv but a few of my favorate shows and movies include Lord of The Rings, True Blood, CSI, Friends, Inbetweeners, South Park, Scrubs and Two and a Half Men. I enjoy watching Autumn/Springwatch when it on as I am very much interested in wildlife and nature.

    I enjoy listening to music and have a wide varity of taste, my favourite artists include Paramore, 30 Seconds to Mars, Pendulum, Neuroticfish, Taylor Swift, Foreigner, Rihanna, Cheryl Cole, Westlife (Yep I'm a fan lol), Nelly, The Script, Bryan Adams, Eminem, Linkin Park, Dead By Sunrise, and DJ Sammy. I like to listen to Dance music such as Clubland.

    I consider myself an amateur photographer and have a particular passion for photographs of........
    Insert more about photography and not "You wouldn't believe how many photos I have on my computer!!" as comic book guy from the simpsons I can say this is the worse line EVER nor your interests in pornographic photography..
    If you share similar interests and feel we have something in common, please feel free to drop me a message,



    please double check spelling, im crippled n writing one handed atm...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ah, man. I don't mean to be rude, but if I read that on a dating site I would laugh.

    Right, this is mine. There are a few people linked in that who are awesome. Also look at this lovely boy if you feel like being minimalist.

    1) don't mention driving. Especially if you own a sodding Ford.

    2) Keep Rihanna and Paramore, get rid of Taylor Swift and Westlife. Those two are a case of 'if the girl likes it, maybe mention you like a couple of songs, otherwise you look like a pansy'.

    3) Don't list everything. It's not cool.

    4) Get rid of the part about where you work. It's irrelevant and nobody cares.

    ETA: I have just been told that you can't see his profile unless you're a member of OkCupid. That said, it'd probably be worth joining anyway. Keeping all your options open and all that lark.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Go with frankis suggestions.. shes a woman n all
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hellfire wrote: »
    Go with frankis suggestions.. shes a woman n all
    Damn right.

    Incidentally, I know the guy in the second link may have a sparse profile, but you should know that he has a permanently full inbox and can't actually receive/send any more messages most of the time.

    I'm his number 1, of course :cool:.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the replies, you've been helpful.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "Skipton-based movie star seeks gullible types for fun and dating."
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's much better than the last one I saw, but there are still some places that make me go O_o

    However, I can't advise as I'm not your target audience, and I've no real experience of online dating.

    I will say that I think you'll be more successful once you're trying to connect with women, not lasses; and you start to select them based on their profiles, not their pictures.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Big Gay wrote: »
    I will say that I think you'll be more successful once you're trying to connect with women, not lasses; and you start to select them based on their profiles, not their pictures.

    :yes:

    I've lost count of the number of people (who were a good apparent match with me) I've ignored because they just haven't read my profile and are clearly just looking at my photos. I know who's ignored what I've said because I specifically say in my profile that I'm going to ignore anyone that IMs me or just goes 'hi how are you?' as their first message. Most of them see 'Available' (as in, not single but still looking) and think I'm good for no-strings sex, which is bullshit.

    I've also lost count of the number of hostile idiots that have then called me a bitch for not responding to them. I'm sorry, if you can't be arsed to try and find out who I really am, then I can't be arsed to talk to you.

    Not that it bothers me, or anything :yeees:.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been trying the whole online dating thing for this past week or so, and it has been a steep learning curve.... Talking to a few nice guys but don't know whether it will work out :p

    Anyway, I think Franki has made som good points about your profile... Just wanted to say that you might want to think about your username and the messages you are writing to any girls you are possibly interested in.

    Today I got this message, and apart from the pervy ones, it couldn't be much worse.....

    From 'cantgetusedtobeingsingle'

    "hey gorgeous would love to for a drink with you maybe sometime"

    Just ergh :rolleyes:

    So yeah, I'm not suggesting your messages are this bad, but it is something to think about :) For me - if someone writes me a message in text talk for example, I don't even bother to read it :P
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been trying the whole online dating thing for this past week or so, and it has been a steep learning curve.... Talking to a few nice guys but don't know whether it will work out :p

    Anyway, I think Franki has made som good points about your profile... Just wanted to say that you might want to think about your username and the messages you are writing to any girls you are possibly interested in.

    Today I got this message, and apart from the pervy ones, it couldn't be much worse.....

    From 'cantgetusedtobeingsingle'

    "hey gorgeous would love to for a drink with you maybe sometime"

    Just ergh :rolleyes:

    So yeah, I'm not suggesting your messages are this bad, but it is something to think about :) For me - if someone writes me a message in text talk for example, I don't even bother to read it :P
    Oh man. Don't start me on some of the messages. I once got:

    'Nice tits, bet my cock would look great between them'.

    The best messages I get are from people who have bothered to read my profile and comment on it in a way that shows they are actually interested in just talking. Even if I don't find them attractive, I'll usually respond.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote: »
    Oh man. Don't start me on some of the messages. I once got:

    'Nice tits, bet my cock would look great between them'.

    Well I'm sorry that you can't take a compliment. :o
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I'm sorry that you can't take a compliment. :o
    Hahaha :heart:

    If had been from someone good I wouldn't have minded :p.

    Also WHERE ARE MY PICTURES ANDREW?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I always read their profile before replying. I bet there are loads of guys who don't read their profile properly. At least I'm not one of them.


    I still don't get any replies.

    It peeved me off when I typed out a farly long message to someone who shares a few of my hobbies, well just two. When I sent it to the person, a message came up in a red font that I don't fit their criteria....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote: »
    Hahaha :heart:

    If had been from someone good I wouldn't have minded :p.

    Someone good? Don't be shallow Franki :o

    The best dating profile I've ever seen started with: 'So I haven't murdered anyone. That's good...right?'

    I fell a little bit in love.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, if they're going to send me a message like that, I will go and read their profile.
    If their profile is shit, I will ignore it. If it's not, I'll reply and laugh a bit.

    Besides, I can afford to be picky :cool:.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You'd need a lot of charm to pull of that tits line. And it's not a great opening line to a stranger. Or your mum.

    OP, I think you need to work on how you present all the stuff about you. Maybe stuff like 'Hey! Have you ever driven through Skipton in a 2004 fiesta? Cos I have!'.

    Obviously that's rubbish but it's better than just listing stuff.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Statistically you are safer with a stranger than someone you know.
    Well since you are statistically safer with a stranger than someone you know, why bother getting to know me "THAT" well ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The only other thing I'd add is think about your photo. OKCupid's blog has quite a few posts about what sorts of photos work and what sorts of photos don't work, and they have a tool so you can have your photos judged for attractiveness. It surprised me that the photo most people seemed to like wasn't the one I'd have thought of myself.

    People are very visual on dating websites. If you don't LOOK interesting they won't even read your profile, they'll just go on to the next one.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you don't LOOK interesting they won't even read your profile, they'll just go on to the next one.

    Good point :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Mr.Ferrari09,

    It is good to hear that you are persisting with the online dating and profile, because you never know what is around the corner!

    In order to meet new people or potential dates, what you could do in parallel perhaps is join groups or activities by volunteering? Have a think about what interests you and by joining a group it could help open up more possibilities, all the while doing something you enjoy.

    Speed-dating is another fun way to meet potential partners and you could go with a friend and make a night of it!
    You could also join different dating sites, rather than limiting yourself to one or two.

    Keep going and good luck :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I still don't get any replies.

    It peeved me off when I typed out a farly long message to someone who shares a few of my hobbies, well just two.

    You dont want to send a long message to someone you dont know, that would put you on the looking desperate list straight away.

    Your giving too much away all the time and not letting that person want to find out anything about you.


    Firstly, dont say "i own a 2004 Fiesta" that is pathetic, who cares what car you own. Thats like saying i have a blackberry phone and a vax hoover, arn't i terrific!

    Also dont name places like washburn reservoirs or clapham, malham or ingleton, that is weird, thats not promoting yourself at all and giving unnesseccery pointless information about places most people have never heard of, its almost comedic.

    Personally id leave out the fact you enjoy american comedys

    I just think theres too much info about music bands as well, someone isnt going to like you for your cd collection, ive got a very differant taste than my partner but we keep our differances.
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