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Should I stay single?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Every person i like doesn't like me back and I probably know that it is because I went out with the school slut without even knowing. Some people I think that like me either is desperate or just messing with me. I am not sure about any of this. I did do something with someone else besides the school slut and I'm not sure if I should extend my area to find someone or not.
I am 18 and well i really like all the physical stuff
There are 2 options
1. Take a long distance relationship
2. stay single and hope i find a way to fill up the empty spot in my heart
3. go out with a desperate person
I really don't know what to do so if anyone has any suggestions then please tell me and sorry if I sound too desperate
I am 18 and well i really like all the physical stuff
There are 2 options
1. Take a long distance relationship
2. stay single and hope i find a way to fill up the empty spot in my heart
3. go out with a desperate person
I really don't know what to do so if anyone has any suggestions then please tell me and sorry if I sound too desperate
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Comments
Don't worry, you don't sound desperate. It's good that you're seeking advice here.
It's unclear from your post whether you are looking for someone to have a relationship with or whether, at this stage, you are looking for something more casual. Sometimes people can tell if it feels like you just want a partner for sex and, unless they only want sex as well, it can make them a bit more reluctant to get involved.
It can be frustrating when you like people who don't feel the same way, but if you are looking for a relationship, it is certainly worth waiting until you meet someone who you really like, and then spending time getting to know them and building up your friendship before taking the next step. In the meantime, it is certainly possible to be single and happy while you are waiting.
Do post with more info if you would like further support too
Well you obviously cannot count, thats three options, I find it utterly funny you do not seem to care who you go out with and have no restrictions,
I mean to your first point, who says anyone would want you with a long distance relationship, with an attitude like yours how'd you even know someone would want you, the same goes for three, "go out with a desperate person" I mean, seriously, who the fuck do you think you are, firstly thinking its okay to call someone "desperate" but then consider dating them to get your socks off.
I mean seriously, if I were you, I'd take option too, well the first two words of it and then add FOREVER onto it.
Your attitude reminds me of someone who just wants to get it, if anyone is desperate, it is you. You only date/go out with someone who you actually like, which from where I am sitting is "everyone" because, as I said you seem to want to get laid.
Calling people desperate, that is as low as it can go, you deserve to be alone with an attitude like that,
My advice, think very seriously about the type of person you are.
Understandably, the word desperate can come across as pretty mean when used about someone else (and this might be something to bear in mind Rawrfire) but we don't know how it is used in Rawrfire's school/college and it might be that they didn't really think about the connotations in this way if it is used commonly.
We don't know if perhaps Rawrfire has someone he likes who he may be considering getting into a long distance relationship with - there's not much info there. So perhaps worth taking a step back and trying to support Rawrfire in thinking about what he wants and developing a more respectful relationship with someone he likes rather than getting too angry at the langauge/ phrasing.
Rawrfire, maybe as people have said, it's worth thinking carefully about what you want and why, and making sure that you are not at risk of hurting people if they are looking for different things to you.
This made me lol
I read rawrfires post completely differently to you. He went out with a girl at school, and she had a bad rep, and now he has a bad rep. He sounds like he is feeling insecure. The only people who may be interested in him - he is not sure if they are genuinely interested in him, or just want a relationship with anyone. That's where the desperate bit came in.
He evens says
is this becoming clearer now? Rawrfire wants someone to like / love him genuinely for who he is, but feels like because of his past relationship he's blew his chances with anyone at his school except for those with no standards.
My advice to you rawrfire, is just to try to enjoy life. All the best relationships I've had have come about spontaneously from friendships. You don't need to be on the lookout for love - as corny as it sounds, 9 times out of 10, love finds you! Concentrate on making good friends you trust and can feel comfortable and happy around - boys and girls alike. The friends you make now, a lot of the time, will be the friends who are with you in 10 years when (potentially!) a relationship kicks the bucket and you find yourself alone and hurting. They get you through the hardest times.
I think when you are happier about your friendships and feel more comfortable about that, you will not feel unfulfilled by the lack of a relationship - but rather - when you meet the right person, a relationship will seem natural and enriching to both of you!
Good luck :thumb:
Well to tell you one thing I am not a virgin anymore and well throw that in all this mix too. I'm not looking for to get laid again i just want this part of my heart to fill up since that time that my ex gf that took my virginity away she broke it into lots of peaces and took a pretty huge chunk out of it too
Great advice SB
I used to be in the same position you were, between August and March (That was when I met the love of my life.) I dated 3 people, and had many others, that I just fooled around, I was single because I truly believed that I would fiind the love of my life. I'll tell you something, sometimes it's better to be single, because if you don't you'll meet someone, that will just use and abuse you, and that person that was amazing, you lose the chance with, because you didn't want to wait, until someone "right". I'm in a long distance relationship, and there is nothing wrong with it, you appreciate the person you are with. As long, as you comminucate with the person everyday, and see them at lest every 2 days (video IM) then that's fine. And don't be desperate, if you wanna have a chat, don't hesitate.
Take care! Rachel :hug:
Well I chose 4. None of the above. and here's why.
I believe that Skakitty is actually right about the "love finds you 9 times out of 10" because my bestest friend in the world just told me to ask her out. So i asked her out last night, on facebook and i know thats just kinda horrible but im asking her out again in person, and she said yes. I knew she would say yes because she told me that she would say yes on email. Now the only thing is that i dont know if shes doing this because she feels sorry for me or not. Also i let her have my info for facebook so she can change a few things on there, such as relationship status, but not sure what to think right now. I had a crush on her since the first time i saw her but never asked her out cuz i knew that she would say no since everyone seems to say no to me.
Awwww hope it works out for you guys
Good luck! Just relax and have fun, dont get caught up in "relationships statuses" or 'are we official?' etc etc just enjoy yourself and see where it leads
well idk if it would be horrible but what about asking 'what can i do or not do with you?'
see where time takes you, enjoy being in her company and don't rush into anything unless you are both happy about it.
well wouldn't it be that making a ground line of what to cross and what not to cross?
edit: and on a random side note- good quote. TDG rock!
well what i mean about what i said is like asking her if i could kiss her, hug her, hold hands, etc. so neither her and i will be angry at each other if we do something we shouldn't have done toghether
and thanks lol one of my fav songs by them
I agree it will be better to cross the bridges when you come to them instead of laying down all the ground rules first. Be open and honest with her (i.e dont make it seem like you want one thig when actually want something else) but you dont have to blurt it all out at the begining. Half the fun is finding out stuff about each other along the way, not all at the beginning
Peronally i would rather a guy just does it rather than asking everytime. I like him to have some balls and take inititaive rather than asking for permission.
But be careful and look for the signs that tells you she wants to, cos rushing into it is what causes the trouble
well i been through alot of people and i did ask 'what can i do and not do with you' just so i know what she would want or not. I wouldn't ask permission all the time just like once and i know that i can do that with her
I know but it still seems a bit like he's scared of me. I would want him to feel like he can be comfortable around me and do what makes him comfortable too
well what if he wanted to do something to you and you didn't want him to?
I would tell him i didnt like that but unless it was something truly disgusting and shocking i'd still go out with him and maybe just let him know to slow down a bit. She's already said yes to going out with you so she's not gonna run a mile unless, like i say you do something vile. Holding her hand or hugging her is fine
Well she did say yes and her and i have been hanging out and well I'm further into love but cant do anything besides holding hands and hugging cuz her and i are Christians its just that I never have been really happy until now.
This is great news about her saying yes and you being happy! Starting to date again can always be tricky, especially if they are a friend of yours. But if you are keen it is always good to make sure you get that follow up date! She must like you in order to go out with you, so take it day by day and be yourself!
Good luck!
I really don't think shagging the school slut will cause you any problems. You're a guy, right? You're expected to take sex where possible
As for girls who are "desperate"...how do you know they are desperate? Maybe they actually like you, and you merely think they're desperate because you've got low self-esteem and think only a desperate person would want you? Or if they are desperate, what does that matter if you like them, you can fill each other's empty spot!