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how to avoid slipping back to before?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey guys, I didn't really want to start another unhappy post for you but needed to write this. See if any one had advice because I'm a bit stuck again 
I can feel myself slipping again (the warning signs are back), but since finishing uni in June I have generally been happier- which is/was good, as the final year of uni was hell. I can remember how I felt, and I fear I am going down the same road again which I really don't want to. Since finishing uni I went to Canada for a bit, where I saw family and travelled which I absolutely loved. Then got myself a job which meant moving away from both where I went to uni and my home town (two places). Much as I enjoyed this new start (and the job is good- not really an issue atm) I feel something's going wrong. I kind of feel really lonely, but I am in a shared house so there's always people around. I have thrown myself into a few activities, which take up some evenings whilst keeping others free so I feel I have a good work/evening balance.
I really don't want to slip back to how I was earlier this year, but not sure what I can do to avoid it. Any ideas?
I can feel myself slipping again (the warning signs are back), but since finishing uni in June I have generally been happier- which is/was good, as the final year of uni was hell. I can remember how I felt, and I fear I am going down the same road again which I really don't want to. Since finishing uni I went to Canada for a bit, where I saw family and travelled which I absolutely loved. Then got myself a job which meant moving away from both where I went to uni and my home town (two places). Much as I enjoyed this new start (and the job is good- not really an issue atm) I feel something's going wrong. I kind of feel really lonely, but I am in a shared house so there's always people around. I have thrown myself into a few activities, which take up some evenings whilst keeping others free so I feel I have a good work/evening balance.
I really don't want to slip back to how I was earlier this year, but not sure what I can do to avoid it. Any ideas?
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Comments
It's good to see you have posted about how you're feeling at the moment. You have had some really amazing experiences - travelling, new job etc and now, even though you love your job, you're feeling lonely. You say that you recognise the warning signs of the path you've been down before - if you feel OK to - can you describe what the signs are?
What kind of activities have you taken up? Whilst this is great and it's good to hear you are managing your time well, if they are activities that have responsibilities, you may be feeling under pressure?
Some advice is to keep busy and occupied with positive things and to start building friendships and relationships with those around you, and you have taken steps to do this already. Maybe you could do more with your house mates? Cook regular meals together one day a week - a social time for you all to get to know each other better?
Exercise is also a good way to keep occupied, vent emotions, and raise positive energy levels. If you do a team sport, you can also get to know new people?
How about taking up a new hobby to do at home? Something you can relax and do in comfort. Knitting is a great hobby - know it's seen as old fashioned, but it's having a revival and you could knit scarfs, hats & jumpers for the cold weather?
Hope some of this helps. Take care and let us know how you get on.:)
I've taken up climbing/bouldering, so there is very little responsibility which is nice, and it is also good exercise! I really enjoy it. Other than that I cycle a bit but I'm not really a huge sports fan and possibly don't have enough time for a team sport.
It's hard to pin-point the feelings to explain them but some are wanting to be alone, just generally not feeling happy, feeling a little bit like "what's the point"- but not bad enough that I can't easily persuade myself there is a point, wishing I was elsewhere- needing to escape the house, and an urge to listen to music really really loud, struggling to get out of bed in the morning (never have been a mornings person, but this is an effort atm) and occasionally thoughts of SH. I think that's about it, but that's a hard list to do!
Hey PH, i know how you feel, i monitor my moods the same way and i have felt these signs too when i'm starting to feel down- I think it's great you can self monitor and take action before it gets worse. For me, i find talking about how i'm feeling to a few close friends helps loads, espeically in the evenings and mornings when i feel the worst- also i do indulgent things like bubble baths, make lists in my head/blog of things i want to own (like new rocks, or craft stuffs), start thinking of a new craft project, or something that really excites me, and i ease off thinking about my future/self improvement type stuff (i can think of that stuff when i'm feeling better!)
At the moment i'm feeling a bit lonely so i went to the library, picked out some funny satirical books (i like charlie brooker) and settled down with a cuppa tea and chocolate... mmmm
Unfortunately there isn't anyone I can really talk too- the only person I trust lives a few hours away and I don't see them too often, so have to deal with it myself, plus when I do speak to them I feel like I am burdening them with my "problems"! I don't open up to people easily