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Another sad one, sorry.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello there,
I just wanted some where, to express how I've been feeling recently and didn't want to be one of those people who do it on facebook!
I just feel pretty down atm, even resorted to searching 'feeling suicidal' on google (Thats how I found this place). I feel bad for feeling down, because I'm not in a bad situation really compared to thousands of other people, which might be making it worse.
I don't even know where to start with this sort of thing to be honest, I'm 18, back at 6th form, after messing up my last two years, my friends this year have gone off to university, about 5 weeks ago I lost motivation for school, which is probably when I started feeling down again.
I have no idea what I want to do in life! which is why I think I've been going in and out of this state for the last 2 years and is most likely the reason I messed up the last two years of college and have no motivation. I've been thinking about what I want to do sooo much. I want to be happy, but there's pressure to be successful and I want a decent job, but I don't know what there is for me to do that I'll enjoy and if college is worth my time. I just don't know!
Another factor may be I've fallen for this girl, but she only just came out of a relationship recently and doesn't want to be dating. When I'm with her or talking to her I feel happy, but that soon ends when I'm not.
I'm genuinely good at keeping appearances up when I'm with people, so no one knows, it's just when I'm alone.
I don't want to sound bad or needy, I just want to reach out for some help.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I just wanted some where, to express how I've been feeling recently and didn't want to be one of those people who do it on facebook!
I just feel pretty down atm, even resorted to searching 'feeling suicidal' on google (Thats how I found this place). I feel bad for feeling down, because I'm not in a bad situation really compared to thousands of other people, which might be making it worse.
I don't even know where to start with this sort of thing to be honest, I'm 18, back at 6th form, after messing up my last two years, my friends this year have gone off to university, about 5 weeks ago I lost motivation for school, which is probably when I started feeling down again.
I have no idea what I want to do in life! which is why I think I've been going in and out of this state for the last 2 years and is most likely the reason I messed up the last two years of college and have no motivation. I've been thinking about what I want to do sooo much. I want to be happy, but there's pressure to be successful and I want a decent job, but I don't know what there is for me to do that I'll enjoy and if college is worth my time. I just don't know!
Another factor may be I've fallen for this girl, but she only just came out of a relationship recently and doesn't want to be dating. When I'm with her or talking to her I feel happy, but that soon ends when I'm not.
I'm genuinely good at keeping appearances up when I'm with people, so no one knows, it's just when I'm alone.
I don't want to sound bad or needy, I just want to reach out for some help.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
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Comments
Hope you find the site useful, its a good place to post about your feelings and get some support.
It does sound like a tricky time for you at the moment and all that keeping up appearances can be really tiring! Is there anyone in your life that you can imagine sharing any of this with? Sometimes it can just be a relief to be honest and heard. Perhaps a trusted family member, friend or professional at college? Its great that you can say some of that here, reaching out is difficult so I want to acknowledge the positive step you've taken in posting.
Feeling lost, not knowing what you want or who you are can leave you exhausted and demotivated. Hows your routine? Sometimes, it can be easy to forget to look after yourself - sleeping and eating well, making sure you get enough sunshine and exercise can all impact on your mood as well as hanging out with people that make you feel happy.
It might also help to talk to professionals at college about your future - they could really help you to focus on skills you have and how to use them. Sometimes signing up for some volunteering can make a big difference - you get a warm fuzzy feeling from helping out and find out about different jobs and whether you like them, plus they look ace on your CV and get you ahead of the crowd.
Let us know how you get on and keep posting :wave:
Thank you for replying, I've never really felt comfortable with expressing how I feel with people, only people I don't know anonymously, just feels easier. I think that's just the way I am though, for years now I've never really felt like I fitted 100% even with my closest friends. But that's in groups.
My routine is okay, I get up at 7:30 Mon, Tues, Wed and Fri for school, I've been going jogging on Tuesdays with that girl I mentioned before. I've recently started playing hockey, training on Thursday and matches on Saturday. I work Sunday in a super market.
My diet is alright, I've been eating more fruit recently, Breakfast every morning, lunch, and dinners with my family. The last few days though, I've been eating too many snacks.