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Feel so down
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
The last few weeks i have been feeling especially down and im just so tired of feeling like this
I make life difficult for others because im so confused. I just dont care about anything like i used to. I try to look happy and try my best with other people but even if they are nice i will push them away. I just dont feel like im worth too much.
I dont know why i struggle so much with people being so nice to me, just feel that it shouldnt happen. And when people around me are nice it makes me feel like i have to punish myself because no one else is doing it, so taking drugs and drinking until i cant remember seems to be the way to do it, i know it sounds dumb, i just feel that way and drink and drugs stops me feeling i need to be punished too
I know im not how i should be, there's something wrong with me. I always feel like crying and i cant do anything right.
I miss mum but she makes things so difficult too. It would be so much easier if i could just hate her but i cant, instead i just let myself get disappointed by her again and again.
I really don't know where my head is at and cant get rid of everything that goes around in my mind. I try to forget, all the time but nothing works.
i just feel so lost :crying:
I make life difficult for others because im so confused. I just dont care about anything like i used to. I try to look happy and try my best with other people but even if they are nice i will push them away. I just dont feel like im worth too much.
I dont know why i struggle so much with people being so nice to me, just feel that it shouldnt happen. And when people around me are nice it makes me feel like i have to punish myself because no one else is doing it, so taking drugs and drinking until i cant remember seems to be the way to do it, i know it sounds dumb, i just feel that way and drink and drugs stops me feeling i need to be punished too
I know im not how i should be, there's something wrong with me. I always feel like crying and i cant do anything right.
I miss mum but she makes things so difficult too. It would be so much easier if i could just hate her but i cant, instead i just let myself get disappointed by her again and again.
I really don't know where my head is at and cant get rid of everything that goes around in my mind. I try to forget, all the time but nothing works.
i just feel so lost :crying:
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Comments
sorry to hear you're feeling so down at the moment, I know this is not what you probably want to hear but people are nice to you because they care and feel you're worth caring about *hug*
Is there anyone you feel able to talk to?
dp
i know its not their fault, its my fault, i just wanna be normal and have normal feelings.
I never feel like i have people to talk to, i dont want my friends to see me like this and my brother and sister are too young to understand and if i told my mum she would probably say something to upset me. Its not her fault because shes not well right now but some things still hurt which is why i dont speak to her at the moment or visit her. She hates me anyway so she wouldnt care i felt this way even if i told her.
I just dont feel like i can live like this right now