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Just a little rant to make myself feel better

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
SO, in the last month(ish) I have

-Found out i have a borderline thyroid problem, which is hopefully getting worse so i can get on thyroxine and have done with it. I can't think of any other reason I feel so sluggish at the moment. Actually, that was over a month ago, but it feels a present issue with all the blood tests. Did you know I have bad veins? I did. Three holes in my arm told me so.

-Changed my antidepressants, which made me dizzy for two weeks and made me gain a ton of weight.

-Ballooned from a solid size 14 to a large size 18

-Not lost any of said weight by increased dieting and exercising

-Taken a year out from my college course because my anxiety is just that bad.

-Signed on

-Looked at jobs I'll never get

-Looked soul-crushingly monotonous jobs at jobs I could have got three years ago, which remind me just what a waste of time this whole uni thing is.

-Got myself on the waiting list for CBT

Actually, that didn't make me feel any better. Life's a bit crap at the moment, and I don't have the strength to keep it in anymore.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there *hugs* My mother has a really bad thyroid problem, it makes her tired and easily ill. BUT she is so strong, she put up with me and my problems (and my dad heh) and runs a home as well. She takes care of herself AND holds a fulltime job in a bank!

    What im trying to say is, it is possible to live a happy life with illness like this!!

    The whole depressing job thing... well, most jobs are depressing and the three years is not a total waste, life is short and you can say you had the ecperience of going there at least! I would love to go one day, for now though I am myself stuck in a call center job :/

    I know angsiety is a total nightmare but the fact that you want to do CBT (therapy yeah?) is awesome, your making an effort to help yourself and it can be really amasing!

    If you need to talk at all, I would be happy to help. Looks to me like you are making positive changes even if you yourself dont realise it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey evenstar, sorry to hear you're feeling down at the moment, have a hug *hug*

    It can feel really overwhelming when you think about all the things at once that are getting you down or that you're not happy with right now. It's good to identify what's making you unhappy but it might help to try and break things up a bit and tackle one thing at a time? You can't fix it all at once! As patience says it sounds like you're doing all the right things though which shows in fact you are a strong person, maybe you're just a bit worn out?

    It must have been tough to make the decision to take a year out and it's no wonder you're feeling frustrated. Hopefully a job will come up before too long and even if it's not ideal it will at least be good to be earning some money and have a bit of a routine again.

    Can you talk to the doctor about your medication and the weight gain, maybe you can try a different kind?

    How about giving yourself a day off too, an evenstar day :d You could do something that you enjoy, go to the cinema or see some friends, treat yourself or pamper yourself a bit, it doesn't have to cost anything. Even just go on a nice walk with a mate? Sounds like you need a bit of a break so that you can get some renewed motivation for things. When you're tired out and it all seems too much have a think about making small positive steps back out of that feeling. You'll get there :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey ES, don't worry about the job thing... i've been applying to McDonalds even though i've got a solid 7 year history in administration..there are just too many people looking for too few jobs! so many people are in the same situation, but it can't last forever! *hugs*

    Have you been back to your docs about the ADs? i know it's a right pain!!!

    The CBT bit is good :D I hope the list is not too long.

    xxxxx
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