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self harm - told the parent - PLEASE HELP

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
despite what i put at the end of my other thread, i just told my mum that ive been trying to stop for over a year now etc.
however, she has freaked - BIG TIME and i dont know what i can say or do to make it a bit better.
PLEASE if anyone has been in this situation or has any ideas, reply!
im really stuck right now :(:(:( :banghead:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She'll calm down eventually. She's bound to be really upset with that news. Hope it goes alright for you. Keep posting, :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You said about your step dad knowing?
    Could you get him to talk to her, to try and get her on the same understanding as he is?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maisyy wrote: »
    despite what i put at the end of my other thread, i just told my mum that ive been trying to stop for over a year now etc.
    however, she has freaked - BIG TIME and i dont know what i can say or do to make it a bit better.
    PLEASE if anyone has been in this situation or has any ideas, reply!
    im really stuck right now :(:(:( :banghead:



    try and explain to her why

    i know it's hard, but perhaps if she knows why you've been doing it, she'll get you the help needed.

    randomgirl's right, it's probably come as a really big shock to her and she will calm down.

    i hope it goes well for you. i've not had the courage yet to tell my parents i've been doing it
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry, hope you don't think I am butting in, but as a parent I thought I would let you know, it's hard for us too.. Our daughter was self harming a few years ago and had kept it from us for a while, I was glad she told us after the initial shock that is, I still don't understand it, guess I never will but we do need to know these things.. I was very angry with her though, I guess I was angry because I thought she could talk to us about anything and wouldn't do something like that.. Anyway, I hope that you get things sorted and that all is good for you.. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, our Daughter is very happy now and in a good strong relationship, just got herself a new job and has been doing some modelling.. PS one of the reasons for the self harm was her low self esteem, now she's getting paid for looking pretty.. We always told her she was..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    TJT6768 wrote: »
    Sorry, hope you don't think I am butting in, but as a parent I thought I would let you know, it's hard for us too.. Our daughter was self harming a few years ago and had kept it from us for a while, I was glad she told us after the initial shock that is, I still don't understand it, guess I never will but we do need to know these things.. I was very angry with her though, I guess I was angry because I thought she could talk to us about anything and wouldn't do something like that.. Anyway, I hope that you get things sorted and that all is good for you.. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, our Daughter is very happy now and in a good strong relationship, just got herself a new job and has been doing some modelling.. PS one of the reasons for the self harm was her low self esteem, now she's getting paid for looking pretty.. We always told her she was..



    really happy everything worked out for her

    :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    TJT6768 wrote: »
    Sorry, hope you don't think I am butting in, but as a parent I thought I would let you know, it's hard for us too.. Our daughter was self harming a few years ago and had kept it from us for a while, I was glad she told us after the initial shock that is, I still don't understand it, guess I never will but we do need to know these things.. I was very angry with her though, I guess I was angry because I thought she could talk to us about anything and wouldn't do something like that.. Anyway, I hope that you get things sorted and that all is good for you.. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, our Daughter is very happy now and in a good strong relationship, just got herself a new job and has been doing some modelling.. PS one of the reasons for the self harm was her low self esteem, now she's getting paid for looking pretty.. We always told her she was..

    don't worry, i don't think you are butting in at all :) you telling me about you and your daughter has almost given me some confidence :yippe:
    x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Also, it might help if you point her in the direction of some information about self-harm. People can end up with funny ideas about it or just are clueless about it if it's never really come up before. There is loads of useful info on the internet. I know it really helped my parents when I told them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maisyy wrote: »
    don't worry, i don't think you are butting in at all :) you telling me about you and your daughter has almost given me some confidence :yippe:
    x

    I really hope it does give you some confidence, our Daughter is really doing great now, and I am sure that given time you will too.. Keep you're head held high with ya chin up too... A the song goes... "things can only get better" lol
    Now give us a smile.. :wave:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Randomgirl wrote: »
    Also, it might help if you point her in the direction of some information about self-harm. People can end up with funny ideas about it or just are clueless about it if it's never really come up before. There is loads of useful info on the internet. I know it really helped my parents when I told them.

    thanks Randomgirl, but she made it rather clear that she does not want to look at some "pointless website telling her what she should and should not do" :grump:
    TJT6768 wrote: »
    I really hope it does give you some confidence, our Daughter is really doing great now, and I am sure that given time you will too.. Keep you're head held high with ya chin up too... A the song goes... "things can only get better" lol
    Now give us a smile.. :wave:

    yeahhh i'm hoping things get better -smile :)
    i guess it's just going to take a while :chin:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It doesn't matter how long it takes, just get yourself right, I am sure your parents will be there for you and hopefully understanding too..
    Be well..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Maisy, just wondered how you were doing? Hope all is ok..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    TJT6768 wrote: »
    Hi Maisy, just wondered how you were doing? Hope all is ok..
    heyy
    erm well she seems to have calmed down about it all now :)
    although she seems to have gone into protective mother mode and has decided to help me stop but i'm scared that it is all going to happen a bit too fast - if that makes sense
    so erm yeahh thats it so far
    before that though she was hardly talking to me, so i'm taking this as an improvement on the situation :yes:
    x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi maisyy,

    just in case your mother decides that there might be some value on things online ;) - we have an article on supporting someone who self harms - among other things, which she might find useful.

    Glad things are a bit better now - telling someone is always a really difficult step and, as you experienced, things do sometimes get worse before they get better.

    Keep us updated :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maisyy wrote: »
    heyy
    erm well she seems to have calmed down about it all now :)
    although she seems to have gone into protective mother mode and has decided to help me stop but i'm scared that it is all going to happen a bit too fast - if that makes sense
    so erm yeahh thats it so far
    before that though she was hardly talking to me, so i'm taking this as an improvement on the situation :yes:
    x

    Hi Maisy, glad that your Mum is being so understanding for you.. I am sure that she thinks that she's doing the right thing, I think we were the same when we went through it withour young un... You do seem to be a bit happier, I really hope that you are.. Take good care of yourself.. And you have to keep us all up to date..:wave:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    heyy got a little update
    she wants me to throw out all my stuff that i use [she doesn't know where they are though otherwise she would've done it herself] and now im like :( because i don't think i can do it :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Miasyy,

    It's great to hear that your Mum is being supportive, but it seems like this ask may be a little much for you at the moment. Perhaps you can talk it through with her and let her know that getting rid of the stuff that you use may be hard for you. Perhaps you could negotiate doing it in stages, so not all at once?

    Take care and keep posting - :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe you could tell her where it ALL is and let her throw it away while you're out? Hope you're ok.. Be good....:thumb:
    maisyy wrote: »
    heyy got a little update
    she wants me to throw out all my stuff that i use [she doesn't know where they are though otherwise she would've done it herself] and now im like :( because i don't think i can do it :(
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    AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    maisyy wrote: »
    heyy got a little update
    she wants me to throw out all my stuff that i use [she doesn't know where they are though otherwise she would've done it herself] and now im like :( because i don't think i can do it :(
    Hi Maisyy,

    I'm also glad your mum is supporting you, I know it must be very hard to through or even tell her where you have hidden it as you will always have a alternative or something *hug* It sounds like your mum really want's to help and support I'm so happy you had toldd someone that must of taken alot of courage welldone, but now for your mum to help you, you must also help yourself, take thing's slowly there iss no rush just take things 1 by 1 good luck ':)

    *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *hug* thank you everyone
    ok. in the next few days i am going to attempt to get rid of some stuff i use
    :grump: haha
    i'll try to keep you updated :)
    x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Really hopes things go well for you hun.. Talk to your parents as much as you can. I wish our daughter would have spoken to us more.. :d
    maisyy wrote: »
    *hug* thank you everyone
    ok. in the next few days i am going to attempt to get rid of some stuff i use
    :grump: haha
    i'll try to keep you updated :)
    x
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