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how do you deal with a jealous ex?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
i've recently met a fantastic new man finally someone i get on with really well and have no agruments with i'm really like him and he has said he really likes me, i haven't been this happy in a long time

now the problem is.. my ex who is my best friend has been very jealous about the new man in my life, the same as he did with the last couple of guys who i have dated.. me and my ex broke up in May and it just seems to me like he doesn't want me to be happy


any advice?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Perhaps tell him to let you move on. He might be able to say that he still cares about you, but sounds like he is being selfish.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ahhhh stange mix an ex as a best friend ?? I don't get this if he is your best friend then why is he not your boyfriend??
    I would get a new best friend, my hubbi is my best friend but he would'nt be if he was my ex!!! x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What flowergirl said, an ex as a best friend cries out for all sorts of trouble.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what the others said - an ex cannot be a best friend, especially if one person still has feelings for the other. if you were actual best friends with no emotions/feelings then he would be happy that you have found somebody who makes you so happy, likewise you would with him (i think i remember previous threads of yours). it'll hurt but its probably best to keep your distance from each other for a while.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    also remember how crap you felt when he got a new girl, he is feeling exactly the same so you know how it is, so sympathy is probably needed too instead of just being annoyed with him and thinking he doesnt want to see you happy. you just need a bit of space.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ignore them completely...like no contact what so ever :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    FireyFirenze wrote: »
    also remember how crap you felt when he got a new girl, he is feeling exactly the same so you know how it is, so sympathy is probably needed too instead of just being annoyed with him and thinking he doesnt want to see you happy. you just need a bit of space.

    I don't know about the background but I agree.


    I wouldn't recommend a complete blanket cut off speaking to him. Maybe confronting him. Ask him why he is like this.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is it the same ex that dated someone else after you and you were secretly still in love with him? If yes tell him to grow the fuck up. Why should he be allowed to do this but not you? You broke up and now you are getting new partners, that's life. If he still wants you back he could have been more proactive.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    flowergirl wrote: »
    Ahhhh stange mix an ex as a best friend ?? I don't get this if he is your best friend then why is he not your boyfriend??
    I would get a new best friend, my hubbi is my best friend but he would'nt be if he was my ex!!! x

    Two of my best friends are also my exes. I'm not with one of them because I moved to Canada but the other one I'm not with because he offers me what I want in a friend but not what I want in a lover. It doesn't work for everyone but our relationship has only gotten better since we stopped being together.

    I guess what I would do would be to tell him that he either accepts that you're no longer together and lets you move on, or he loses you as a friend. If he still chooses to act like that then he is not worth having as a friend.

    Good luck with the new bloke!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    we have been best friends for 9 yrs and yeah we thought we would give a relationship a chance because at the time we felt what we had was more than friendship.. it was great for the 4 months we did date and the reason for us breakin up was the fact that his family disliked me, they hadn't even liked us being friends when we were kids, stupid silly people like!

    i have moved on and found someone that i am really happy with but i dnt want to lose my friend, he's alwys been a big part of my life, being there for me through an illness when we were only 11/12, he's always been there for me and i can't lose him
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    EAB_x wrote: »
    we have been best friends for 9 yrs and yeah we thought we would give a relationship a chance because at the time we felt what we had was more than friendship.. it was great for the 4 months we did date and the reason for us breakin up was the fact that his family disliked me, they hadn't even liked us being friends when we were kids, stupid silly people like!

    i have moved on and found someone that i am really happy with but i dnt want to lose my friend, he's alwys been a big part of my life, being there for me through an illness when we were only 11/12, he's always been there for me and i can't lose him

    I suppose if he is being a bit of a dick then what do you do? If he truly was your friend and a good one at that, he would man up and get over it, even if he was jealous, he should make the effort for you.

    Truth is sometimes lovers and friends can cause a few issues between then. If it genuinely is that bad, then I think its one or the other, but if you choose to be friends with your ex, then he needs to buck his ideas up and who is to say this wont just happen again and again.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmm :( cos of the way my ex got on i'v now lost the new guy :(
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