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doing my head in.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
basically iv been with my girlfriend for 6 months and everything is absolutely wicked apart from the sex. im the problem, basically. for some reason, however hard i try and not think about it..as soon as we start having sex i feel im going to come too quick and then i do. its difficult to ignore when the feeling is so intense. my girlfriend is so understanding, and we've spoken about it alot and its doing her head in, understandably so. but its just difficult to sort my head out. anyone know of anything i can do to change my thinking mentally?
also its important to mention she is my first girlfriend and i had only ever had sex once prior to her (i was a late bloomer :d )
thanks guys
also its important to mention she is my first girlfriend and i had only ever had sex once prior to her (i was a late bloomer :d )
thanks guys
0
Comments
Firstly, your girlfriend sounds like a lovely person:d and it sounds like you have a strong relationship and you're open with each other which is great. Sex can be the catalyst for a lot of anxiety and you’re certainly not alone. The good news is that there are lots of techniques you can try to delay your orgasm. The premature ejaculation article on TheSite.org lists a number of different things you can try:
http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/havingsex/performanceproblems/prematureejaculation
One specific part of this article that you may find particularly reassuring relates to anxiety and performance:
“Lessen your expectations: Many men buy into the sex myth that they should be in control. This can lead to a great deal of anxiety, which is linked to premature ejaculation. Recognising that both partners play an equal part will take the focus off the need to 'perform' and help you to relax.”
If it continues to be a problem and you feel that getting an outside perspective from a professional could help, then talking things through with a counsellor is one way forward. I’m not sure how old you are, but if you’re 25 years-old or younger then getting some initial advice on this from young people’s sexual health service, Brook, is a positive option. They have a telephone, email and text service that you can access on their website: http://www.brook.org.uk/index.php
If you’re older than 25 then you could look straight to the British Association for Sex and Relationship Therapy.
Hope this helps and good luck!
You'll last for ages.