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best friend (and ex) has new girl.. :(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
best friend/ex-boyfriend has gotten a new girl ..
and i'm feeling very jealous, i'm worried things between us will change and he won't be the same with me as he has been..

he was seeing one of my old friends a few weeks back and she caused me and him to fall out for a while. i'm scared this new girl will cause me to lose my friendship with him :(


am i just bein silly?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there,

    Hi there,
    Sorry to hear that you are having realtionship problems. Im 16 years old so i will try my best to help you. My advice would be to talk to your ex boyfreind about your worries about this girl becoming between your freindship. This way you both can work out something and still hang together and be best of freinds. If he was a true freind he wouldnt choose his new gf over you for sure. Your not been silly at all.
    Hope this helps you
    xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey,

    I can sympathize with you. My ex is also my best friend currently, and I'm terrified that he will find someone new and I have no idea how I will handle it when he does. He promises me that things will never change, you know best friends are forever and gf/bfs come and go, and I believe him, but we all know that reality doesn't always work like that. In any case, I just wanted to say that I can see where you're coming from. And, I hope it works out for you if you truly want to be friends with him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    really sorry to hear that , talking in a relation ship is always good , so talk to him about it at tell him that you are jealous of the new girl in his life .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    here2help wrote: »
    Hi there,
    Sorry to hear that you are having realtionship problems. Im 16 years old so i will try my best to help you. My advice would be to talk to your ex boyfreind about your worries about this girl becoming between your freindship. This way you both can work out something and still hang together and be best of freinds. If he was a true freind he wouldnt choose his new gf over you for sure. Your not been silly at all.
    Hope this helps you
    xx

    ^^ thanks i tried to talk to him today but he thinks i'm only sayin because i want to get back with him, which is totally not the case! i just dnt want to see him hurt like he has been in the past :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    everyytime wrote: »
    Hey,

    I can sympathize with you. My ex is also my best friend currently, and I'm terrified that he will find someone new and I have no idea how I will handle it when he does. He promises me that things will never change, you know best friends are forever and gf/bfs come and go, and I believe him, but we all know that reality doesn't always work like that. In any case, I just wanted to say that I can see where you're coming from. And, I hope it works out for you if you truly want to be friends with him.

    ^^ yeah my best friend also says the same but the last girl he was seein came between us and we fell out durin the time he was seein her, it was only when she messed him around that i was right about the girl
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    EAB_x wrote: »
    ^^ thanks i tried to talk to him today but he thinks i'm only sayin because i want to get back with him, which is totally not the case! i just dnt want to see him hurt like he has been in the past :(

    Why do you want to protect him? He's his own person. He needs to make his own mistakes to learn about life. Sure, if he is playing on a railway track, concern is important but no one gets through life without making some poor relationship choices.

    Also, very few friendships are ever the same as they were before a relationship. Those people that can maintain it are usually very lucky and also self-confident enough not to be affected by their ex's new partner.

    Just be a friend and let him get on with it. At the end of the day, if he does choose his new girlfriend over you, that's his choice.

    I think that its possible that it's YOU that has to move on, hun. Concentrate on your life and being happy. *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I take it he was the one that dumped you?

    Perhaps youre not ready to be friends?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah he was the one that dumped me..
    his new girl has decided she isn't ready for a relationship and told him she wants to be "just friends" same line he used on me..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds like you are getting rather hung up about something you feel very strongly about still, but also really shouldnt be.

    He is an ex, and as others have said, as much as you have feelings for him, which still appear to be quite strong, if he gets hurt or used etc, that it will be his choice/mistake to make.

    If you did manage to maintain your good friendship, you need to think that perhaps you shuold treat the friend as a friend, not forget the past you had, but if you always look at him as the ex who is a friend, then you may unintentionally alter the friendship.

    It sounds like you are still very much hung up over him a little, im not saying that feelings of love and closeness at 16 are wrong, infact very much the opposite. However at 16 you are still very young and I dont want to seem almighty on these or accuse you of being naieve, but there is still a lot for you to go through in life, and Im sure you will get over this and make things work in the way that would be best for the both of you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im 19 lol..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My apologies.

    Also after reading your other thread, he has another girl, and the reason you seem so pent up about this, is that you are not just friends, you have still been sleeping together and being generally close.

    Id step back before you get hurt, if you get too pushy with him he might get annoyed with him.
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Teagan wrote: »
    Why do you want to protect him? He's his own person. He needs to make his own mistakes to learn about life. Sure, if he is playing on a railway track, concern is important but no one gets through life without making some poor relationship choices.

    Also, very few friendships are ever the same as they were before a relationship. Those people that can maintain it are usually very lucky and also self-confident enough not to be affected by their ex's new partner.

    Just be a friend and let him get on with it. At the end of the day, if he does choose his new girlfriend over you, that's his choice.

    I think that its possible that it's YOU that has to move on, hun. Concentrate on your life and being happy. *hug*

    :yes: regardless of what's now happened with this girl, you may well find that taking a step back is best for you both at the moment.

    Chances are that when he does get a new girlfriend he won't be the same with you as he has been because his priorities will change and he will need to have some distance as part of respecting a new girl. This isn't to say you can't be friends eventually, although it is quite a rare, but usually friendships with exes only occur after time for both of you to build new fulfilling friendships where there isn't any kind of jealousy or concern during these times of change. It's easier said than done to find distance though, so do take care and be good to yourself. *hug*

    Also try to remember that although it can feel sad, the future will be brighter if you can put yourself first at this point. :)
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