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please help! Boyfriend problems!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
hi everyone, its been a really long time since ive been on the boards.
hoping someone could help me out here. sorry if its too long.

Basically I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months now, at first he was so affectionate and understanding, wanted to see me all the time, called/txt heaps etc. now i feel that his so dry with me like he still says he loves me but doesnt show it. only wants to see me twice a week and rather see his mates, when i complain and say he doesnt see me enough he tells me im a ball breaker.

Also b4 when i cry he'd be really concerned but now if i cry his all like "dont cry" but in a bored voice and i know he just wanna get off the fone.

How can I get it back like it used to be? I dont know what has gone wrong. Ive spoken to him but he keeps saying he hasnt changed and that Im being a drama queen.

What do i do? any advice much appreciated

xxx

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is maybe unhelpful to you, but I am more on the side of your boyfriend.

    Things will never stay the way as they are right at the beginning. Maybe twice a week is really not a lot, but I couldn't deal with someone who cries to me over the phone about something like this. I'd get annoyed. Try to make plans and 'ask him out' for certain dates. Like "I wanted to go see that movie." or "I made reservations in this restaurant for saturday, I'd like to take you there."

    But if it's just crying that he wouldn't spend more time with you but then it's just sitting at your place watching telly is maybe not the most thrilling thing around. Either take the initiative and do something, or if he keeps blowing you off for his mates I'd reconsider this relationship.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi, thanks for your reply. I think I wasnt too clear my post, I didnt mean I cry over him not seeing me, i meant in general if ive had a bad day or something has upset me. I guess before if I was upset and crying he'd always try to help me with whatever the prob is and be really comforting but now its like he cant be bothered or somthing.
    and I do suggest dates out, thats another thing, I brought it up to him that I always suggest days and he very rarely does. Most of the time I suggest days he tells me he is too busy doing uni work, and ok fine I'm in the same boat we all have work to do but it seems when he sets aside days to do uni work, if his mates call and wanna hang out hell go but If i say lets hang out his like no I said I have work to do your being a ball breaker.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, he clearly has different priorities to you and if you explain it to him calmly that you feel neglected and he does not take it serious, it's pretty much a deal breaker. Give it a last shot fixing, otherwise leave him, because it will not be like you expect it to.

    That's all I can say to that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm i dont really know what to say, but i can relate to what you are saying, me being a guy though, there is this girl who i've not even got to ask out yet, im still "seeing" her but she seems to have gone from equally interested and texty to not soo texty in the space of a week, (see my latest post in the relationship forum) the difference being i assume you actually see your bf face to face? i cant with this girl becuase she lives away during the week, i'd say you'd have to go off how you feel when you are together, becuase if there is something wrong it will be harder to hide face to face. Not sure if my rambling has helped, but hope you find happiness one way or another.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks guys for the replies. I took ur advice Strubbles, told him how i felt really calmly and explained i cant be in this relationship if this continues since its evident his not taking it seriously, he said he didnt realise how he his behaviours made me feel, i guess usually when i have a talk to him im angry or upset and my message doesnt get across clearly. He said, that he doesnt wanna lose me and his gonna be more vigilant in treating me well and making sure he makes time for me.

    We'll see how it goes!

    Goddog2, its true what you say reactions are easier to be seen face to face, generally when were together its fine its just getting that time togehter that is the problem!

    i would suggest asking this girl y she isnt keeping in touch so much? Good luck :)
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